Why are people offended if relatives give their DC money for Christmas?

[Eastie77Returns]

I’ve seen several threads where a parent is upset that relatives have given their DC money for Xmas instead of an actual present. I’m now second guessing myself because I regularly give my godchildren and DC of close friends money for Xmas and birthdays once they reach their teens. I give toys to younger children I find it harder to buy specific gifts for older children even if I know what they are into so give cash or a voucher. Is it really considered thoughtless and lazy (two descriptions I’ve seen)??

DD is 12 and absolutely thrilled when she receives cash as a present. I’ve always just been very grateful to whoever has given it to her!

Total fine here, both sets of great grandparents send money rather than gifts, one set of GPs used to buy gifts but stopped when me and my brother were teens as it was easier for them.

Mine (5 & 12) are always happy to receive money

My kids got a tenner each in their Xmas cards from a far away aunty today. Aged 6 and 8. They were DELIGHTED.

I wish the people who buy for DC would give money instead. There are only so many toys DC need! A bit of cash if they want something through the year, or to save for future would be so appreciated here!

my 7 year old DSS loves getting money and I usually gift money to his friends at their birthday parties unless I know of a really specific interest or love that they have. We have a small house with limited space and DSS already has so many toys and things that money means he can choose what he wants, and he said he feels really grown up going to the shop and choosing what he wants then paying with the money (I haven’t assured him the novelty definitely wears off just yet 🤣)

I don’t understand it either. I used to love getting money from relatives. I suggested to my husband last year that rather than stressing about buying presents for our nieces and nephews, we just give them some money for birthdays and Christmas. He was horrified and said how would you like it if BIL/SIL gave our kids money for Christmas or birthdays? I said I’d be really happy and thankful. He thinks it’s impersonal and doesn’t require any thought. Which is precisely why I want to give money because I want it to be appreciated by the kids working having to put in a load of thought!

Yes this is what I’ve heard from a friend, it’s impersonal and also shows you do not know the child or care to find out their interests. The truth is I don’t always know the interests of my teen recipients (because they change so rapidly) but I do care about them as individuals!

Kids love money in my experience. I buy Christmas presents for my nieces & nephews but give them money for birthdays. I simply can’t be arsed thinking of ideas twice a year 😂

Depends on the relative. I think Grandparents should make more effort. Godparents - I think money is fine.

Yes, and if there are multiple siblings, you have to try to get them presents that are equal in value which isn’t always easy whereas with cash you can just decide on an amount and give it to all the children.

Something one set of GGPs do which is actually really helpful is they send the money (they transfer it) before Christmas, this year it was about 2 weeks before. Super helpful for those last minute requests, both mine found and fell in love with something last week which they hadn't mention before and so I've been able to buy those and wrap them up from the GGPs.

My mums 89 ….she’s gives 5 GC and 3 GGC £50 each….gets the money holder Xmas cards from card factory ( 4 for a pound) then buys them all a pouch of Cadburys chocolate which she wraps for them…..they are all very grateful …..and it takes all the stress away, of worrying about what to buy

Some grandparents have multiple DGC. I think it’s unfair to expect people who might be in their 70s/80s to go out and buy a whole load of presents (many do not shop online) especially when might not have a clue what to get.

Absolutely not, i would much rather my children get given money they can put towards something they want than fill my house with more stuff they don't need and didn't ask for that won't get used. Cash is very much appreciated here.

Of course, everyone's circumstances are different. My personal relative's situation though is just laziness.

I think money is fine
kids like to choose things
but also if they want a larger item it encourages them to save up for it doesn’t it?

my kids love vouchers and money and I’m not remotely offended - much better than rubbish 2 for £20 randome gifts they aren’t really into and end up in raffles etc….

i don’t buy for my friends kids only my own but if I did it would absolutely be money or vouchers.

My dad always gives my kids money and they’re delighted to receive it, and I’m happy for it too because they can buy or save for something they want.

My son was 12 at the end of November and received money from a few friends and relatives. He was thrilled!

He wanted a pair of football boots (specific name and type) which were more than I would usually want to pay as he is growing like a weed!

So, he used some of his birthday money and I made up the other half.

He is so pleased with his boots and was quite proud to pay towards them. He takes them to school for when they do football in lessons and when he stays for extra curricular football.

Far better than lots of people buying random things he doesn't really need/want.

when my kids became teens money was the best present! They could then spend it in something they really wanted, or save it.
I was totally happy if they got money rather than a present that was either age inappropriate or not what they were interested in. Sadly no one gives them money now as they are over 18.

My mum and sister live abroad and transfer money to my DCs for both birthdays and Christmas. DS doesn’t use his, so it just builds up but my DD, 14yo, says she relies on these two money instalments to keep her going with ‘needed’ clothes shopping throughout the year. She’d be wholeheartedly disappointed to not get cash.

I give cash to great nephews and nieces who are between 6 and 10. They love it.

It’s absolutely fine for older kids, thoughtless and kind of pointless for younger ones.

My uncle has sent my kids a note in a Christmas card for many years now (they are late teens). They love it. My mum on the other hand buys them random presents they don’t know what to do with. My PIL give them nothing at all. We are team cash all the way.

Not sure why would anyone be offended. I usually give cash money to my adult DC and close friends. I don't even bother with money gift cards, cash is always appreciated it.

It's not about being lazy but practical. Cash gives the receiver options to buy what they want or save the money for a bigger expenditure in the future, while a gift is often stuff they don't need/want.

My kids would be very happy with money, not so with a voucher. And I have no problem with it. when the kids were little they would get excited about going shopping to choose something they wanted.

My aunt has sent money to my mother to get my DDs a present... she gets them a voucher for a shop off their list (it was book vouchers when young, then clothes vouchers... this year its Super drug!). DHs Aunt gives us £50 to take them out somewhere. I think its great rather than stuff they don't want.

I gave my niece £20 the other day in lieu of a present (she's 18) and told her not to drink it all at once. She was planning on heading to the book shop as there was something she wanted.