Why are people offended if relatives give their DC money for Christmas?

[Eastie77Returns]

I’ve seen several threads where a parent is upset that relatives have given their DC money for Xmas instead of an actual present. I’m now second guessing myself because I regularly give my godchildren and DC of close friends money for Xmas and birthdays once they reach their teens. I give toys to younger children I find it harder to buy specific gifts for older children even if I know what they are into so give cash or a voucher. Is it really considered thoughtless and lazy (two descriptions I’ve seen)??

DD is 12 and absolutely thrilled when she receives cash as a present. I’ve always just been very grateful to whoever has given it to her!

Given that FIL asked DH to choose and buy DS's Christmas present this year, I'm team cash.

Mine are happy with money and it's what I have always said to the grandparents to give them. My in-laws don't live nearby, so if they want to buy something they fall into the annoying category of you buy something they will like and wrap for us which I refuse to do. My own parents try to insist on buying something to open which I find equally frustrating. We have reached a point where the kids aren't into toys and I spend ages trying to think of things to get myself so that they have something to open from me. Money is so much easier as they can save it for when they actually see something they want or put towards something more expensive.

Yanbu!!!!!
I have no idea. I got cash almost always as a kid and loved it.

Mine are 3 and 1 and have ALL the things.

My dhs family fuck me off because I make amazon lists for them to pick something and they just "buy" £40 / £50 pounds worth of stuff.

Despite me repeatedly saying "1 or 2 things max please" if you want to give more give cash for their savings.

My ds has 6 gifts from bil 🧐

The bit that annoys is they wont give cash but cant be fucked to think of a gift either.

This year was on me as I forgot they did this last year and I shpuld have out manoeuvred them.

My family currently give toys to my toddler but when she gets older they will switch to money. I use to love buying CDs in the January sales with the Christmas money I received from my grandparents.

I think money is fine and DS is delighted if he is ever given it as a gift.

There seems to be a core group of present-givers on MN who are convinced that they always give “thoughtful” gifts, but don’t seem to understand that their idea of this won’t necessarily be the same as the receivers.

You can spend hours trying to decide what to buy someone and it may not be appreciated, or in the case of children, they may already have the toy or the parents have a mountain of plastic toys gathering dust and don’t need/want anymore - so money can be perfect to buy something that is really wanted and will be used.

I much prefer my son to be given money then it can be spent on an activity he wants to do. We have a small house and not enough space for all the toys his grandparents insist on giving

These days most people don’t even have that many grandkids. It’s one call to the parents to ask or spend one afternoon with the children and chat about their hobbies. It’s perfect possible to get present without being online too. Yes it’s lazy.

as others said it’s ok for great aunt suzie but would be nice of the grandparents made an effort. My children have one grandparent left who has 4 grandkids and doesn’t make an effort. It’s sad, as they are too young to care about money. Even a nicely done voucher fo tickets or doing something together would be nicer.

Plain hard cash any day here. My DC got enough tat and didn't need more gifts packing it out.

GP might get a small something, books maybe and then cash. My DC have about £2000 now in Premium Bonds. They love getting a letter when they win and will hopefully have money towards a car/house deposit when older.

it’s definitely a personal preference thing…as a kid, I never got presents from relatives to open…always a card with a tenner in it…I was always mildly disappointed as my parents always wanted me to pop it in my savings account so for me, cash = nothing I could enjoy or appreciate at the time. My parents were lovely and got me everything i needed and lots of things I wanted (not everything but I certainly couldn’t complain) so cash was just a bit of a non-event for me. As an adult I do try and buy thoughtful gifts and surprises…but my god it’s exhausting!! I can see both sides 😂

So some posters think it's laziness!! Most kids get far too much. I opened accounts when mine were born,2 now teens,it will pay for driving lessons whatever
.we do what we call a tree present something small. Ds is registered disabled can't afford gifts,all great full for cash

All good for cash here.

I think when its a grandparent/close relative giving a sizeable chunk of cash that would easily have been enough to buy a suitable gift linked to the child's interests, its a bit of a lazier option isn't it, especially for a younger child.

But for an older child where often the only things they want or need are expensive tech or brands, its the obvious answer.

My kids just aren't that interested in cash. The card money from their birthdays (September & October) is still in an envelope on the mantelpiece, waiting for them to think of something they want to spend it on. After a few months I give up and put it in their savings for them, or use it to buy passes for an attraction, but it's not something they see or get excited about in the moment.

Mini blondes loves getting cash or Amazon vouchers

shes def learning the value of money and how named make up like Sephora or bubble she gets a lot less than boots own brand

she likes saving and I happily give cash to people or receive it for her

same for class birthdays - much nicer to get /give cash and child get a couple of big things they want v 30 presents

In only on my 50s. I buy presents for the younger grandchildren but the eldest who is 17 I send money

My kids got £120 each recently and have absolutely loved having that money! They have been on 2 weekends away recently (one abroad) and loved being able to go to the gift shop and choose some lovely keepsakes, toys and merchandise.

I've bought my teen nephew/nieces all a £30 Amazon Gift Card and Selection box for Christmas.

It must be a certain type of personality that is offened by it. There was another thread that revealed it's terrible that people ask you what your children want. Thati s laziness too it seems.

I do wonder if it's the personality that causes people to appears to feel Christmas won't be Christmas unless they are stressed out of their minds trying to organise it.

I would rather family did what felt most comfortable and appropriate for them. I have never wanted it to be stressful for anyone. Mine are adults now but growing up some people bought gifts some vouchers, some cash and some would give me a cheque (or later bank transfer) and request we put it towards our 'Christmas celebrations'. We would often use it to do some kind of activity like panto or ice-skating, meal out etc. The giver was always happy that they had enabled us to do something with the children.

I give money to my teen nephew because that is what he asks for.

his little sister loves ‘stuff’ so she gets ‘stuff’ and lots of it🤣🤣. She spends all year adding things to her list and I love picking things off it. By the time Christmas comes she hasn’t remembered what she has asked for. I always check with her mum incase she has asked her parents for the same things.

My mum is the only other person who buys my (young) DC Christmas presents. I’d be disappointed if she just gave cash. But generally, and especially for teenagers, yes it’s absolutely fine.

Younger children are easier to buy less expensive gifts for, gifts that will be enjoyed, than teenagers. I think teenagers generally have more expensive tastes, or you could say more sophisticated tastes. For example a child who is interested in art will be happy with crayons or low quality pencils, but a teenager who has developed art skills will want better quality products. Even books get more expensive. That’s before you even start thinking about the technology and brand name clothes that are on their wish lists.

Some parents don’t seem to appreciate that a gift of cash can be a contribution to a purchase they can’t afford to make in full rather than a lack of care or laziness.

Vouchers used to drive me mad. Even if there had been 100 things in Next last week that the kids loved, you could guarantee there was nothing the instant that someone had given them a voucher. My stepdad used to give the kids One4all vouchers which are particularly useless for kids. It was always a mammoth effort to spend the buggers and I would end up giving the kids cash while I tried to find stuff in Argos for the exact amount I had on the gift card

The £10 note taped to a selection box from my Gran was, however, always very welcome and the kids could spend it straightaway.

My Gran was always very proud of herself because she never gave money and always chose presents, unlike her siblings who "just give money". As a 18 year-old student faced with a mug with a teddy on it, some felt tips and some stationery with a pierrot on it, I'd have killed for a tenner and a selection box.

I give cash… to be honours nieces and nephews and to any bday parties kids are invited to. Saves me time, saves them have duplicate / unwanted gifts!

I was thinking to start giving money as a present. I have to go around to drop of gifts or send them without getting much in return. I don't mind buying presents but the parents won't tell what the child wants. Then I buy something and I have to contact the parent to ask when I can drop off the present. Everyone is too busy and I have to cycle or take the bus to leave a present to their backyard or they open the door enough o exchange few worlds and then I go back home. Transferring a £20 is so much easier than this whole routine.

Yes, the friend who criticised cash gifts always (and I mean every single year) reports that she is rushed off her feet and exhausted at Christmas due to the all the stuff she takes on e.g. hosting her wider family of about 12 people, buying and wrapping endless presents etc. But she ends by saying “oh well, it wouldn’t be Christmas without the chaos” so my guess is she thrives under all the organising etc.