Why are people offended if relatives give their DC money for Christmas?

[Eastie77Returns]

I’ve seen several threads where a parent is upset that relatives have given their DC money for Xmas instead of an actual present. I’m now second guessing myself because I regularly give my godchildren and DC of close friends money for Xmas and birthdays once they reach their teens. I give toys to younger children I find it harder to buy specific gifts for older children even if I know what they are into so give cash or a voucher. Is it really considered thoughtless and lazy (two descriptions I’ve seen)??

DD is 12 and absolutely thrilled when she receives cash as a present. I’ve always just been very grateful to whoever has given it to her!

Money given directly to the DC is great. Its their money and the implication is they can spend it as they see for.

Money given to the parents with a message 'buy Billy something he wants' is giving me yet another job to do.

I get this every year from both sets of GP, I understand my DC are too old for toys and have fixed likes. The problem is the GP want the present to wrap or at least ask what has been done with the cash and then disapprove of the gift (she bought a dress for clubbing, hes using it to pay for his teams new years eve party) or are upset that it isn't allocated to anything.

So cash is good but never ask what it will be spent on.

Cash or vouchers all the way once the kids are 8/9 and start to want more expensive things!
I remember being 12ish and receiving a silk scarf from one aunt, £10 and some chocolate from another. Guess which one I preferred?!

I’m not!

We used to have a relative who would give me and my brother money every Christmas without fail. They would find new, novel, ways to wrap/present it every year, it got more impressive and complex as we got older. It started with coins in a pair of new socks, moving through things such as £5 notes individually wrapped in cling film and hidden at intervals in a tube of pringles, carving a small hole out of a chocolate Santa, posting the money in and sealing it shut with chocolate buttons and sealing it back in the original box. One year they picked up a cheap gimkcky table top claw grab arcade machine full of sweets and wrapped up £5 notes in foil sweet wrappers and mixed them in. By about the 4th or 5th year it became almost a game to see who could work out where the money was hiding first in the most mundane looking of presents. It was one of my favourite Christmas memories.

But I certainly don't have an issue with people giving money - the DC get so many presents (especially as we have a birthday near Xmas) money they can save/put away for later in the year is actually useful when they see something they want in 3 months but have 9 months to wait for Xmas/birthday!

Nothing wrong with money at all, even for young children. The amount of tat some people buy is obscene and it’s much better to get something wanted or needed!

I’ve given cash this year to nieces, nephews and friends with children much older than mine - yes it’s easier for me, but also for them.

My DM is disabled. She can make it to the corner shop to buy milk but she couldn’t go to a retail park on the bus to buy 8 bulky, heavy presents for her GCs. My DCs love receiving money. It’s a good lesson when they’re young to know they have x amount, and you can take them shopping and they can learn to work out the value of that money.

I really miss physical media as a gift, CDs, DVDs, LP, Tapes.
Console games too, so much of that is now either streamed or a download code printed on a bit of A4.

Happy with money because I can get what the children actually want vs them getting something they don’t because they only see family a handful of times a year and in the past they have received things that weren’t age-appropriate, we already had it, or they weren’t interested in such things anymore.

I have no issue with people asking and I ask about my nieces and nephews unless I know they’re still into specific things.

It’s a waste of effort, time and money to me otherwise if I buy something they don’t like.

I think I’m the opposite. My mil used to only give cash, still does, but to me she just can’t be bothered to choose anything since the children were born. She has a number of grandchildren with a history of estrangement there. I have the finances to buy things but id rather she picked something of her own accord to show she’s thought about gifts

I think some people just think it looks like you couldn't be arsed to buy a gift/couldn't be bothered to find out what they might like - and look around for something. Just stuffing a tenner or twenty quid in a card is a bit CBA.

I expect some people don't mind it, and I bet many of kids don't, but personally, when I was a child/young teen, I preferred presents, not money stuffed in an envelope or gift card. At that age I didn't want or need money.

I don't want to go all Four Yorkshireman, but back in the 1970s when I was a child, me (and my brother and our cousins, who all have 6-7 years between us,) were happy with a lot less than children are now.

We were thrilled to get a board game, a selection box, a colouring book and some crayons, a pair of pyjamas, some slippers, an annual, some chocolate coins, a doll or teddy (depending on our age,) and the one big present, like a skateboard or a cassette player, or a walkman, or similar gadget that had just come out (that would be maybe £50 in today's money.) We never expected a lot, and wouldn't have been particularly chuffed with someone sticking a pound note in an envelope (like a tenner in today's money!)

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I gave my niece and nephews money as they got older. When they were small I always asked DS what present they wanted.

Nothing wrong with givng them money, as they probably wouldn't want what you'd buy them

I've got 7 dgks, oldest live the other end of the country, haven't seen them for years. Even the nearest, they change their minds, hobbies, hair all the time. I do ask them and their parents what they want, they don't know! One has just had a birthday, personal presents there,dgs into very expensive computer games, branded clothing,gets money buys what he wants.. late mil, because my youngest Ds was into a particular football team at 9, would buy him an annual at 16!

God knows but there are a lot of miserable posters looking to find offence on here.

Agreed.

I started giving money instead of presents when I realised that a friend's child had been given so many toy cars for Christmas that they were donating them to the local nursery.

I wouldn't say I'd be offended but I would prefer presents for my younger DC, otherwise I'm the one who has to do the shopping and possibly wrapping, it just seems lazy of the gift giver.
Absolutely fine with teens, they prefer to have the money to do their own shopping and aren't as excited by the surprises and unwrapping of presents.

I think money is absolutely fine to give. I don’t think it’s impersonal - unwrapping a gift that’s something DC aren’t in to at all is far more impersonal in my opinion.

I think that money is quite nice as a way of spreading Christmas as DC get to go to a toy shop after Christmas and pick something! So something nice to look forward to.

Don’t think there’s any thing wrong with it OP my teenager is very hard to buy for, I struggle, we have a large family and I just give them his bank details, goes towards his car fund, he normally gets between £200-£300! Same on birthdays.

I've given my great nieces (it used to be their parents until they reached 18) money their whole lives with no complaints. Vouchers are limiting and they get so many gifts.
I don't want to give anything that's not wanted and figure they get much more for their money in the sales and enjoy spending the money.
My adult DC's partners get Euros. They're incredibly difficult to buy for and have great taste, I'd probably get ot wrong. We discussed it and apart from stocking fillers they like having the extra spending money on the European trips I know they always take each year. Money doesn't have to be the thoughtless gift. I find those gift sets in Boots (you know the 3 for 2 type) far worse.

That sounds so ungrateful, at least they give them something!

To clarify I only give money directly to the kids and don’t give to parents with the expectation that they buy something for their DC. Agree that is just extra work for the parents!

It’s one of those weird things that feels like a cop out but kids LOVE money.

It’s autonomy for them. It’s freedom. It’s a novelty. It’s a shopping trip into town in the sales.

I’m actually a bit gutted realising that my kids are getting no vouchers or money this year I’m going to have to stick some in a card myself!

I had an aunt and uncle who usually gave me money for Christmas and birthdays from the age of about 9 upwards, and I was always delighted with it! I can actually remember some of the things I bought with it to this day.

It also makes them (or at least mine) consider a lot more what they are buying if it’s “their” money they are spending! Easy to spend the parents’ money…..

I think your looking back with rose tinted glasses. Yes you were happy to receive that stuff, but were crayons, another doll or teddy always used or needed?