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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

467 replies

Wifetobe21 · 22/12/2025 22:11

For about 1.5 hours mid morning. A couple of his mates usually go and have roped him in.

He is into his fitness but surely people can give it a miss for one bloody day?!

OP posts:
Cherrytree86 · 22/12/2025 23:28

CaffeineChaosandCuddles · 22/12/2025 22:45

Gosh, people are so ‘Lardy darrr, let him do what he pleases’

that’s okay, 99.99999% of the time - but id be miffed being left on my own for 1.5 hours on Christmas morning, that’s time to be cuddling up watching a film, or eating breakfast with Buck’s Fizz… not being left on your todd while he goes off. I’m on your side. You are NOT unreasonable!

@CaffeineChaosandCuddles

not everyone wants to be “cuddling up” watching a film on Christmas morning…

fiorentina · 22/12/2025 23:28

My gym will be open. It’s open 24/7 unstaffed at times.

i see the attraction as Xmas day can be quite sedentary. However I imagine you’re cooking and looking after DC so this isn’t ideal unless he goes super early perhaps?

Xkk · 22/12/2025 23:30

Dollybantree · 22/12/2025 23:21

From the Study of Life! You only have to have been on here for a few years to know it’s a very popular excuse for cheaters. It’s nothing to do with having a healthy relationship - I’ve been married 20 years to a fantastic man but have seen many other relationships crumble in that time, often bc the man can’t keep it in his pants (and comes up with all kinds of excuses for his strange absences along the way). One friend during Covid had her husband going “on long walks as his mental health was suffering”! In reality he was shagging a woman half his age he’d met online. Not saying that’s what’s going on here - I’m sure it’s easy enough for the op to check.

But it never hurts to be informed..and sorry but going to the gym on Christmas Day is suss as hell and id definitely be checking if that is exactly what he’s doing. Actually I wouldn’t bc my dh wouldn’t be so self absorbed as to even suggest it.

Just say no, you’re not ok with it OP and you can all go for a nice family walk instead.

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This is the thing. Study of your life, not everyone's life. I never met anyone who used gym as an excuse for cheating so my argument is as pertinent as yours. Anyway, happy that you have a wonderful relationship.
Going to gym is not suss...on this thread only many people answered that they go to exercise themselves on Christmas day. What is suss for you is normal life for others. Anyway, I digress ...have a lovely Christmas! 😀

dizzydizzydizzy · 22/12/2025 23:31

Zov · 22/12/2025 23:08

Blimey, that's a bit of a safety risk. Didn't know any of this. Thank you.

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It’s a huge safety risk. I used to work in
a leisure centre. I also used to be a member of a gym with no staff.

in the leisure centre, a customer had a heart attack while exercising in the gym and stopped breathing. About half a dozen staff did CPR, shocked him with a defib, dialled 999 etc etc. He survived.

in the gym with no staff I went to a spin (exercise bike) class that was run by a person who wasn’t a member of staff. There were no members of staff there and no other instructors. One of the people in the class adjusted the handle bar of his bike but didn’t tighten it up properly and 5 mins into the class went over the handlebars and landed on his head on a concrete floor. This is potentially a very serious accident because you can get a spinal cord injury doing this and end up paraplegic (this is why you are not allowed to dive into the shallow end of a swimming pool). The instructor just froze and didn’t have a clue what to do. I ended up looking after the man.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 22/12/2025 23:31

I think it would be helpful OP (to us, but more importantly for him) if you were able to explain a bit more about how this 90 minutes fits in with the rest of the day's plans, and what you were hoping he would be doing for that 90 minutes that now won't get done.

Because it really depends on a few things like what time you'll be up and when you're eating, how much prep there is left to do, how self sufficient/happy to play with the toddler your parents are. Also, how is the relationship with your parents? House guests are hard, usually harder if they're your inlaws.

In other words, will his absence affect you and create extra work for you, or do you just want him present on principle?

BoudiccaRuled · 22/12/2025 23:31

As long as between his 90 minute gym and your 60 minute run+ shower every thing gets done, why would it be a problem?

vanillalattes · 22/12/2025 23:31

I really can’t see an issue. My dad always went for a run on Christmas Day growing up 🤷‍♀️

DreamTheMoors · 22/12/2025 23:32

I used to find things to do on Christmas Day - anything to take me away from my family’s celebration.
It was my brother and his cruelty I was trying to avoid and eventually I made excuses to not attend any family gatherings at all where my brother would be.
Then he died suddenly and that released me from my family-avoidant rule.
I don’t know if any of the rest of my family ever caught on, but they certainly never called him out when he was verbally abusing me. Not once.
Maybe they were afraid of him - or maybe they agreed with him - I never asked. I don’t recall anyone challenging him on anything.
His son-in-law, whom I do not know from Adam, let me have it once, so I stay away from them as well.
I find it absurd that a person feels free to treat another with such abhorrent disrespect.
And for no other reason than they feel that they can. Or they feel that they’re superior. I honestly don’t know what it is.
Be kind is all I have to offer this holiday season. ❤️

FestiveFruitloop · 22/12/2025 23:33

sundaysurfing · 22/12/2025 22:18

If it’s not disrupting your day and if he agrees to allow you to have some time to yourself later in the day, should you wish, I think it’s a fun tradition he can do with his friends and it’s not for long. It’s Christmas which is about being with people that you love - that’s friends and family. Now of course, all of this is easy for me to say because it’s not my DP going off on Christmas Day to the gym with his mates lol.

'Allow'? 🤔

wouldnotswapwithyou · 22/12/2025 23:33

Dollybantree · 22/12/2025 22:22

If have dc’s then no way is this acceptable. Unless you are allowed to go and take a 90 minute bath on Christmas Day of course.

I’d also be a bit suspicious of anyone who claims to go to the gym on Christmas Day. Are you sure that’s where he is?

Oh. I wouldn’t have thought of that!
You’ve planted a seed.

dizzydizzydizzy · 22/12/2025 23:35

Zov · 22/12/2025 22:57

They let people go in on their own, into the gym/the building - with a special code - with NO staff there, no-one on site, and no first aid, no nothing? But it's all OK as long as you 'don't have an accident?!'

Really?! 🙃

.

Edited
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Yup! I can’t understand why it’s allowed. There is an emergency button to call for help.

You can literally be there at 3am totally alone. Not sure who would press the emergency button then.

AutumnClouds · 22/12/2025 23:37

I’m surprised at the comments, although not the vote - I’d be hurt. It’s not the same as a walk or run that multiple members of the family do or can go on. I’d want him to want to be at home, Christmas is only one day and it’s a family day.

MyCatStoleSausages · 22/12/2025 23:37

vanillalattes · 22/12/2025 23:31

I really can’t see an issue. My dad always went for a run on Christmas Day growing up 🤷‍♀️

Yeah I was talking to dh about this the other day and both our Mums used to disappear for a long walk on Christmas day. I don't think that this is any different. Christmas can be intense and taking a breather whether that's a walk/run/gym is a much healthier way to deal with it than getting sloshed like some do.

CantBreathe90 · 22/12/2025 23:37

Eudaimonia11 · 22/12/2025 22:19

I’ll be going to the gym on Christmas Day too. For me, Christmas is about doing whatever you want and enjoying yourself. I like exercising, it makes me feel good.

Me too! This will be my first gym Christmas, I'm genuinely excited for it. It's nice to excersize and get all the endorphins and build an appetite for a big meal.

I'd never even considered it before this year, but saw the gym opening times included for Christmas and it blew my mind.

Flomingho · 22/12/2025 23:39

Don't see the problem, as long as he isn't leaving all the Christmas dinner to you to organise. I would go to the gym myself if I had the time on Xmas day but will go boxing day jnstead

Xkk · 22/12/2025 23:40

CantBreathe90 · 22/12/2025 23:37

Me too! This will be my first gym Christmas, I'm genuinely excited for it. It's nice to excersize and get all the endorphins and build an appetite for a big meal.

I'd never even considered it before this year, but saw the gym opening times included for Christmas and it blew my mind.

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Many people go before because they know that they will eat and drink and will make them less likely to go after, which I understand especially if is your way of life and you feel guilty when you don't go.

CantBreathe90 · 22/12/2025 23:41

Pearlstillsinging · 22/12/2025 22:32

Which poor souls will be working on Cristmas Day to keep a gym open? It's hardly an emergency service!

Not everyone celebrates Christmas 🤷‍♀️ Wouldn't bother me to work Eid or Chinese New Year, for example.

wouldnotswapwithyou · 22/12/2025 23:42

YABU I’m afraid unless there are DC at home then his behaviour is odd.

Tdcp · 22/12/2025 23:47

wouldnotswapwithyou · 22/12/2025 23:42

YABU I’m afraid unless there are DC at home then his behaviour is odd.

They have a 19 month old

Aussiesgettingsmashed · 22/12/2025 23:50

Just be glad you’re not married to a lard arse like most people.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 23:51

Tdcp · 22/12/2025 23:47

They have a 19 month old

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Why would this stop them each having an hour or so to themselves each day?

AvocadoJam · 22/12/2025 23:53

@1apenny2apenny I have a 21 month old (and a 5 year old) and I'll be off on a 7km run. Hopefully frosty! The other runners are always super friendly so it is a great atmosphere

Backtorealityerr · 22/12/2025 23:54

My husband always went out climbing or running on Christmas Day but he has to fit in with my plans. If it doesn’t work then tough shit. If a child needed or wanted time with Dad then he didn’t go out…it’s called compromise.

TopazQuartz · 22/12/2025 23:56

Eudaimonia11 · 22/12/2025 22:19

I’ll be going to the gym on Christmas Day too. For me, Christmas is about doing whatever you want and enjoying yourself. I like exercising, it makes me feel good.

This. It's what he wants to do on Christmas Day. It's not the whole day. Just leave him be and let your relinquishing of control be a gift to him. If you share childcare or other responsibilities, just make sure you have some time for yourself for a walk or the gym or whatever YOU like to do over Christmas.

AuntyAngela · 22/12/2025 23:58

I think a 90min gym/swim/run/walk/whatever it's ok if it's fitted into the day, rather than the day having to be made to fit around it.

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