Men going to thailand

[Dontbenasty]

A recently retired man I know, with a sibling, elderly mother and his own children has started to go to Thailand regularly to see friends and now has a “relationship” with a “bar girl” who he now wants to introduce to his family. His original meeting with this woman was transactional. His family want nothing to do with the woman and have warned him he is being groomed. He has now defaulted on Xmas plans as family members have kept their boundaries and fortunately the visa hasn’t gone through for the much younger woman . Xmas was due to be at his house as it was his turn leaving his sibling ti host and be responsible for the elderly mother whilst he continues long periods in Thailand. Using google to translate he keeps the relationship alive whilst he is in England. He says he is in love. Jibes have already been made at his expense in social gatherings. The sibling is standing firm and doesn’t have the energy to communicate or warn him any more of the consequences.
she moved to be nearer him and he’s now suggesting he will spend 6+ months abroad. Their mother is so sad this is breaking the family up. The mother has also twigged this isn’t a “normal” relationship. The kids just want to keep their relationship with their father so the sibling is missing out on family gatherings as she thinks this will condone his behaviour. Advice for the sibling please

So many of them out there. Yes it’s a nice cheap retirement life out there and some may genuinely be there for the lifestyle, but you can’t tell them from the majority dirty old men sitting alone or with young women, in restaurants and bars. It’s sickening.

It is very flattering for the man to have the attention of a much younger and no doubt pretty woman. However it’s his business.

if he starts transferring substantial funds to Thailand and her (foreigners are not able to purchase property in Thailand unless it’s a condo type build) then his kids need to have some deep conversations with him.

but it is possible for a man to find happiness with a Thai Lady. Our friend did but was experienced in Thai life working on the medical side of life.

We’ve met his other friends who are nicely settled with Thai ladies of similar age. They have proper legal agreements in place to protect their financial interests and up to date Wills. The Will needs to be specific if it only gifts Thai assets to the spouse because an open Will will leave all international assets to her upon his passing, thus leaving his children out.

so in the first instance, my concern would be that his assets are not being moved…

(there was a case recently where a man had to be uplifted from Thailand as he was broke and his Thai wife divorced him while she stayed in the house, might be worth a read).

https://www.thaiexaminer.com/thai-news-foreigners/2025/08/14/trouble-in-paradise-for-marriages-between-foreigner-and-thais-as-australian-gets-ready-to-return-home/

I live in Asia and let me tell you that this is absolutely a thing, I have seen it countless times.

For anyone suggesting that he is taking advantage of the girl I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. 'Bar girls' are absolutely notorious for this and there is a well established system in place that they use to extract money from men like this.

I can 100% guarantee you that he is not her 'boyfriend' and nor is he the only one that she is doing this to. It is very, very, common for these girls to have several men on the go at once, all sending her money from overseas in the hope of having a long term relationship, or even marriage.

The excuses and the begging will start. Her family will have a poor harvest (she is from Issan, I guarantee it, a poor agricultural region of Thailand where families routinely send their daughters off to the tourist hot spots to work as 'bar girls'), her buffalo will get sick, she won't have enough money this month to pay her phone bill, or her rent. Can he please help her out.

Many of these girls have kids (at home with the family on the farm) and are often married to a local man.

Let me reiterate this happens all the time.

There is a Reddit sub where you can read all about it

www.reddit.com/r/FarangsofPattaya/

funny how the comments are very different when it's lonely older women being romance scammed by young men from poorer countries!

if the woman is an adult, she is free to make her own decisions.

Not necessarily. It's not uncommon for women like this to be forced into these kind of 'relationships' by pimps, relatives, sometimes even their own husbands, in order to extract money.

And don't get me wrong - zero sympathy for the man - but if he's sending her money, buying/renting property, investing in businesses etc because he thinks they're in a relationship and are going to marry when that's not the case, he is by definition being abused here too.

I have been to Thailand and have seen plenty old western white men with much younger beautiful women who will care for their every need. It’s sickening old enough for them to be their granddaughters Thai women happy to engage as it’s the only way for affluence and improved life style. ( they often build big houses back home to show their wealth)

Sibling needs to really think impact of his actions - is she asking him for money ? but if he is happy and in love - let him have his journey.

I think they both know what they are getting into and it is still entirely transactional. Him in it for the sex and she’s in it for the money/escape of her life.

I feel for the family. Mums probably worried she won’t see him again being the age she is, kids worried about inheritance and sibling about the family fall out. But nothing any of them can do. All sibling can do is be part of the family as normal. I’d crack on without him and either it will work out for him or not. Let him lead his life and make his mistakes.

He’s not being groomed fgs. Men know perfectly well what such women want and the women know what the men want. It’s transactional on both sides - and often the women are very young and stuck in poverty so they are very much the ones at risk of abuse by the more powerful western men with a financial advantage.

The men are literally nicknamed passport bros and it’s not him being scammed.

I would honestly not want anything it do with my sibling if they admitted to being a sex tourist who paid vulnerable women for sex.

If anyone wants to feel sorry for the women, thi k about those who are flown out of their country based on an internet profile and arrangement.

our former tenant (who had fallen behind in his rent payments) met a woman through a introduction site in Vietnam. Within 9 months they were married. He told her he was a big farm owner in USA, and big business owner where we live. The farm actually belongs to his brother and the business here owned by some random. He told her family he would sponsor them for relocation where we live, so there was a lot of pressure in her to accept his proposal because supporting the family is number one.

once she arrived he then claimed a major loss due to fire back in USA and how he was uninsured and now broke😳😳

they have since moved away to another part of the greater district and away from other creditors. She has no money of her own, and her English is limited. Unable to drive etc.

prior to leaving our house he and his boss made substantial threats and attempted to blackmail us for a substantial sum of money.

I don’t k ow what will become of her or any children they might have. But she won’t be able to access any help.

Lol, no one is being groomed. Creepy man goes to Thailand, nothing new.

I know a couple of men (one is married), that travel to Thailand several times a year for months at a time to play golf. Seems like a long way to go for a game of golf 🙄

I know someone Who met a lady from Thailand.
He'd been married and divorced three times and i thought maybe he was trying something new different.

She came her and lived with him. Im not sure if they are still together actually I think not.

Hes never really found long lasting happiness hes 75 now.

I work in hospitality and a few of the chefs in the kitchen are regulars to Thailand.. twice a year

My friends dad does this, she’s disowned him. There’s only one reason men travel all that way for sex and it’s because they look like kids/teenagers

And because it’s cheap.

Work colleague was out there with his partner recently and said he was walking with her and still got accosted. Girls/young women with a 'menu' ffs apparently. He did say seeing men of his age (57) and older walking around with a woman a third the age was uncomfortable viewing. But these guys don't care. They are living a dream (until it's not) and no one can see them except tourists and men like themselves.

FFS!! 😂🤣

Louis Theroux done a documentary on this a good few years ago.
The men he followed were delusional fools.

Yep..

I was in Thailand a few months ago for work. There are loads of white British and Australian men over there with very young women in bars and hotels. My flight back was full of single men over 50 - they are the worst of the worst because they’re looking for young, subservient women who will look after them. I agree with a PP and wonder why Reform never talk about them…..

Definitely not your business.

Yes, they are known as 'LBH' (losers back home)

Your brother is a dirty old man. I hope she fleeces him. I would not want him near me or my kids tbh.

This makes me sick, vile western men who are almost always physically repulsive and devoid of personality, paying Asians for sex because they would never be able to get any sort of relationship with a woman in the west. It's a business agreement and nothing more, he gets sex, she gets money, it's disgusting.