Disappointed Dh finishing at lunch on xmas eve

[justnotthesameasnormal]

We’ve all been ill recently so have barely done any Christmas things as a family. We felt better this weekend, but he still said he felt tired and was mainly in bed all weekend. I did lots of Christmassy things with Dd which was nice, but seemed strange missing so many things.
I assumed he finished tomorrow so had planned that we’d all go to a lovely Christmas market with kids rides and mulled wine etc on xmas eve.
He said he’s finishing at lunchtime now so there won’t be time
It’s not just that, but i’ve done literally every single thing for Christmas, which I get as I work less and finish earlier, but it still feels disappointing

Aibu or is this a normal situation and if so what would you do if it was just you and your dc?

Arrange to meet him from work and you can go to the market straight from there - still plenty of time. He can then start on the Christmas Day prep as he’s been an absent contributor.

Oh you’re being ridiculous and hard work with it. Plenty of us work right through

.DH was/is a workaholic. I cracked on with the children. We had a lovely time.

Quick circuit of the market, take her to the cinema, head to the 4.30 crib service. Tell him he can get dinner on and pour you a large wine.

Or, you can have a row and take the dairy off it.

Its just the reality of being an adult, people have jobs and can't just take time off to be christmassy. Most people will be working

Yep totally absent contributor, the lazy shit being out at work…
Is op an absent contributor to the family income as she works less?

Christmas Eve is a normal working day. I finish at 5pm...

YABU. Christmas Eve is a normal work day if you haven’t booked holiday for it. My work officially finishes 3.00pm Christmas Eve.

I finished today- took annual leave, dp finishes lunch time Christmas Eve. Take them to the market tomorrow it will still be fun if you enjoy that type of thing (that sounds like hell to me!) Have a relaxed Christmas Eve- make cookies, watch some Christmas movies, finalise your meal plan, have bubble baths, clean pj's, quick tidy up then try and get some sleep. Check to see if the market is still there after Christmas, as many run into the New Year.

The working until midday thing shouldn’t ruin your plan as surely he can meet you there. I do think it would be unreasonable of him to go off to drink with colleagues on Christmas Eve though, I wouldn’t be happy with that.

You're so lucky! My husband and I both work with animals (same place) and we don't get any time off over Christmas, as obviously animals need caring for every day. We have a 3 year old son and we will only have the odd day all together (like the weekend following christmas). Please appreciate what you have!

You assumed he would be off on Christmas Eve and you’re guessing he will be going to the pub for drinks after work. You need to stop assuming, guessing and silently fuming while you do all the Christmas prep and just talk to him.

If it helps @justnotthesameasnormal my dh officially finishes work at 5pm xmas eve. Hopefully it'll calm down a little earlier. I will be elbow deep disimpacting my dd3 and entertaining ds6. I booked holiday to be covered in poop 🤣

Yes, we finish midday but if we want the time off, it’s a whole day, not a half day. This is communicated every year so it isn’t a surprise

Sounds like he's actively avoiding family time to be honest. Take your DD and don't rely on him to entertain you both. My DH was a miserable bastard around Christmas (still is) but I made sure that our DC never missed out on trips out/christmas activities because of it. Don't give him that power over you.

Surprised your Christmas markets are still on then. The ones near me either ended Friday or yesterday. I am guessing they are young children so I don't see the appeal of taking them to a Christmas market anyway. They are usually rammed plus cost a fortune. Not really a great place for little ones.
My DH works til lunchtime too on Xmas eve and it's the same on NYE. I think when mine were younger we just did things in the afternoon, though I am sure when they were little we did a lot of craft at home that day rather than going out as town is too busy with little ones and a lot of attractions were either closed or focused on Santa.
I do think it's wrong if he stays out all afternoon drinking with colleagues when you have little children at home, but I think it would be rude not to join them for one.

?

It's a waste to use a day's holiday leave for half a day

I’ve always worked, but in schools, Dh doesn’t usually work xmas eve. Growing up, my whole family was home xmas eve

You can still fully contribute to the Christmas plans whilst working full time. Many families have two full time working parents but their DC’s still get to experience Christmas events and both parents plans and work together to arrange a happy family Christmas.,

It's a shame you can't do something fun with him but thats no reason you can't have fun and enjoy the festivities without.

I'll be at work Xmas Eve as usual that day of the week, until 10pm. Loads of people will. Be better at communicating with your DH instead of assuming!

Does he have form for opting out of family life? Do you think his boss is really making them work xmas eve? Or perhaps they're off to the pub.... I would wonder.

I’m not trying to be a bitch right, but my DH isn’t getting out of hospital from his chemo treatment until 6/7pm on Christmas Eve. I’m sure you can cope with your DH being home at lunch time.

Why can’t you go to the market after lunch when he finishes ? Why is it “too late” ?

Christmas Eve is a normal working day.

totally normal for us. i always take xmas eve off but my DH doesn't get to finish until after lunch. we have made it our tradition to go the cinema in the morning and watch one of the xmas films that are always rereleased - we love it!

I’m working xmas eve morning. It’s been a working day in every job I’ve ever had (unless it falls on the weekend) but usually you get sent home at lunch. I think it’s pretty normal.

I really don’t see why you can’t go in the afternoon… would you really want a mulled wine before lunch?! And it’ll be more atmospheric and exciting for the kids to be out as it’s getting dark and seeing all the lights. Why the assumption that he’d go for drinks with colleagues? Surely he can just come straight home.

And no it’s not ok you’ve done all of the xmas prep when you both work but that has nothing to do with xmas eve being a normal working day…