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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for having the hump with my mum......

54 replies

Feelingblue2day · 11/06/2008 10:24

My mum kindly looks after my DS 5 days a week so me & my DH can work. She gets paid a fare rate but obviously not as much as normal child care rates.
Me & DH got married earlier this year which took up most of our annual leave days, this also includes out 2 week holiday after the wedding. My mum & dad also went on a 2 week holiday at the same time and also have 2 weeks off in November (child care is covered)
So, my mum has now told me that she needs to have the a friday and monday off at the end of june to take my dad away for a long weekend. Dont get me worng i know we are all intitiled to a weekend away but i am now really stuck with childcare arrangments.
AIBU to have the hump or am i being petty??

OP posts:
theSuburbanDryad · 11/06/2008 10:26

She's given you plenty of notice - could you not arrange a childminder or something, just for those 2 days? You've got pretty much the whole month to find and vet someone!

Sorry if I sound unsympathetic - I'd love to have someone around who would take care of ds for me so i wouldn't have to put him in nursery!

mousemole · 11/06/2008 10:28

oooh sorry, think you ABU. You are so lucky she does the childcare for you, especially at a reduced rate and she probably needs a break !

johnso · 11/06/2008 10:28

YABU- It's only a long weeekend. Can't you and DH take one day off each?

theSuburbanDryad · 11/06/2008 10:28

Or - if you can't find a childminder, take the two days as unpaid leave? Given that you won't be paying childcare for the two days!

I do think that if you have family looking after your dc then it can be more difficult to arrange than if you have a nursery or childminder, as it's not so hard to get arsey with the nursery!

Original poster
Feelingblue2day · 11/06/2008 10:29

I have called 3 local childminders and they are all fully booked. The nursery's in my area also wont take a child just for the odd days, it needs to be a more fixed thing.
My sister would normally help out but she is also on hoilday. Im in a right pickle!

OP posts:
cupsoftea · 11/06/2008 10:30

you are so lucky to have your parents help with childcare like this - you should give them a night out at a restaurant during their weekend away.

CarGirl · 11/06/2008 10:30

you can take unpaid leave for dc under 5, can't remembered what it's called - carers allowance or something?

Kewcumber · 11/06/2008 10:32

I'm afraid you are being petty. Do yo expect them never to go away for a weekend again? Agree that DH and you should take one day each (paid or unpaid)

Kewcumber · 11/06/2008 10:32

parental leave

Original poster
Feelingblue2day · 11/06/2008 10:32

I dont have any annual holidays to take ans i cant take unpaid as there are already 3 members of my team off work so it wont be authorised.

I now i shoudnt have the hump but my DH has 2 in 6 Fridays off and it annoys me that she picked the only one that he is working in june.

OP posts:
Tortington · 11/06/2008 10:33

OMG - she is already doing you a huge favour by giving you childcare at a reduced rate
and its your mum

your mum and dad want to have a shagfest and fuck all night long. yabu

CarGirl · 11/06/2008 10:33

your DH could swap or take parental leave.

alittleone2 · 11/06/2008 10:34

Message withdrawn

Eve34 · 11/06/2008 10:34

Think you should just take unpaid leave. I agree it is a bit of a pain, but you can make the most of a few extra days with your DC

BoyzntheShire · 11/06/2008 10:35

yabu imo.
shes given you notice.

Kewcumber · 11/06/2008 10:37

Has she already booked it? Aske her if they can go the weekend after when its easier to take the time off.

theSuburbanDryad · 11/06/2008 10:38

There must be more than 3 childminders in your area!!

Twinkie1 · 11/06/2008 10:39

YABVVVU!

LullyMummaOfOne · 11/06/2008 10:45

Feelingblue, i am in the same position as you. My mum also looks after my children and we always clash over holidays.
I think you should talk to her and tell her that you cant find anyone to help out those 2 days. Is it possible to arrange the weekend that your DH will be home?

Custardo, no need to be harsh, feeling blue is only asking for advice/suggestions. I dont think that her parents sex life has much to do with it!

QueenBhannae · 11/06/2008 10:46

pmsl at custy!
UABVU
My own mother did not even look after one of my dc when I ws in hospital, my 20yo brother did it with a broken leg.(she took the quiet one with her though lol)
Please count yourself lucky that she is there for you and give her a bonus so that they can have a treat on their shagfest weekend away

QueenBhannae · 11/06/2008 10:50

Pah! Custy was not harsh, she was merely injecting some humour into the thread. Sex is not a shameful thing and should be laughed about!
Lighten up Lully

higgys · 11/06/2008 10:58

I'm on your side here. They must know how much you rely on them so they should have at least checked with you to make sure it wouldn't cause any problems.

Have you asked if she would mind moving it to a different weekend and offer to pay any extra charges they might incur.

You don't say how old your child is, but if very young, perhaps you need to look into a better long term solution ie at least one day at the childminders so when this happens again you have other options.

Love2bake · 11/06/2008 11:05

Sorry agree the others, you should not be annoyed with your parents.

5 days a week, thats hard work for Grandparents - they need and DERSERVE a break.

QueenBhannae · 11/06/2008 11:10

You could be cheeky and ask if they would take dc with them but I wouldn't.

Disenchanted · 11/06/2008 11:11

You sound quite bratish!