Is 38 too old to become a dad?

[Lottie585]

I'm 33 female and my husband is 38 male. We have 2 children and just recently found out that we are expecting a 3rd child. A happy accident if you like as we thought we were done but clearly not.

Since I found out that I'm pregnant I've been having all of these weird intrusive thoughts and I seem to be fixating on my husband's age. He is 38 and I'm terrified he is too old to be a dad. I googled it - stupidly! And it came up with an increased risk of loads of different things like schizophrenia.

Can anyone calm me down? I think (and hope) I'm being unreasonable but I don't know. I've never been this anxious during a pregnancy.

38 is a very normal age to become a father.

38 is a perfectly normal age to be a mother or a father.

Of course it's not too old.

Talk to your midwife if you are genuinely having intrusive thoughts.

No its a perfectly normal age.

Might be worth mentioning the anxiety and intrusive thoughts to your MW or GP.

The average age of a first time father in the UK is about 34. You have two children already, so assuming a spacing of about two years between kids, I would say he is exactly the average age to have a third baby.

My husband was 42 when we had our third.

Sounds like you are both at a perfect age for a child. Speak to your midwife this is an intrusive thought not a reality

My DH was 39 when we had our second child, absolutely fine.

Are you sure you want another child OP? You have a choice hopefully? There is nothing wrong with wanting to stop at 2. Is your H on board with it?
It is an odd thing to fixate on, 38 is a perfect age to become a dad.

How old were you both when you had the other 2? Wondering if you had them 10 years ago so now 38 seems old in comparison ?

there are increased risks with older fathers (that are often overlooked by the media) but i’m not sure 38 is classed as that old.

38 is an extremely unremarkable age to be a new father.

Go to a local primary school at drop off / kicking out time, particularly in a more affluent area.

Let me know your thoughts afterwards.

I really hope this thread gives you the validation you need OP. Congrats on the happy accident. It’s gonna be great x

It’s not old at all.

DH was 43 for our first and 47 for our second. I didn’t worry about health issues but we did both do some long term financial planning as supporting DC2 through university would mean us both working full time until DH was 68.

The more engaged fathers I know had their kids later in life. 38 isn’t too old at all.

38 isnt bad, my dh is 41 though and says hes way to old but our kids are 14 & 10. It depends on the circumstances!

I'm 39 and just had my second. DP is 42

Being ridiculous op - in my group i don’t have a single male friend who had kids before mid 40s! Most of the woman I know are late 30s early 40s having kids

everyone is fine

my own husband had 1st at 44 second at 47.

Not at all. Like everyone has said, it is very common. DH was 41 when we had our first, 42 for our second (I'm 10 years younger). He's at the older end of the dads we know, but by no means an outlier. Kids have never felt they had an "old" dad.

Ask Mick Jagger.

FFS. Go outside. Look at some fathers. Now think about how old they would have been when those kids were born. You're being ridiculous. If you have two kids already you must have noticed a variety of ages of other parents.

You’re being wildly unreasonable and ridiculous. 38 is a completely normal age to become a parent. Young, even!

My Dad was almost 41 when I was born and 43 when my sister was born.

38 may be a little on the older side (though not so much these days, perhaps, when quite a few people aren't having children until they're in their thirties) but it's nothing to worry over.

Its fine. A man of 38 has (hopefully) the maturity and life experience to be a good parent. Probably far more than a teenage father!!