Is 38 too old to become a dad?

[Lottie585]

I'm 33 female and my husband is 38 male. We have 2 children and just recently found out that we are expecting a 3rd child. A happy accident if you like as we thought we were done but clearly not.

Since I found out that I'm pregnant I've been having all of these weird intrusive thoughts and I seem to be fixating on my husband's age. He is 38 and I'm terrified he is too old to be a dad. I googled it - stupidly! And it came up with an increased risk of loads of different things like schizophrenia.

Can anyone calm me down? I think (and hope) I'm being unreasonable but I don't know. I've never been this anxious during a pregnancy.

My partner became a dad at 21 ,he then had no more till he met me and had our girls at 33 and 35 .
His friend has just become a dad at 40 as has my cousin it's quite common thws
Thier is no right age it's personal choice .
My dad had me at 36 as a only child he's now 82 with 8 grandchildren ranging from 26 to 6 🙈.
I never felt he was too old .

It’s possible yes. However, egg and sperm quality is really poor in your late 30s and older compared to your 20s which is why 35+ is classed as a geriatric pregnancy.

Absolutely ridiculous. Of course it's not too old. I can't understand where you even got that notion from.

I think you sound very anxious, OP.

DH was 42 when we had our youngest. He doesn't act or look like a particularly old dad.

My dad was 39 when I was born 56 years ago and I promise - hand on heart - he never seemed too old to me.

It’s not a blanket rule of it being “really poor” it’s not nearly as simple as that.

I do feel really anxious and I hadn't wanted to say to anyone I knew hence why I popped it on the internet. I'm wondering if it's hormones - my brain keeps overthinking about this pregnancy way more than my last two.

Of course it isn’t op. My partner is 42 and we both have one already. I’d like another baby with him down the line

I was 43 ( dad) when our youngest arrived. He is 26 now and plays in a rock band. As a 70 year old dad now I couldn't be happier or hipper watching him play !

You can get a pre birth check here:

https://fetalmedicine.com/

Prof. Kypros Nicoleides is amazing and they do ultrasounding on the latest machines as well take bloods (just yours so not invasive) to check for abnormal genetical markers to put your mind at rest over your baby‘s health.

He told me lots of Mums have „third child syndrome“, ie they worry about abnormal feral development when there is no reason to.

He is an amazing man, so kind and knowledgeable! He devoted himself to his work and the NHS but runs a private practice on set days for private practice - using the money he makes from those who can afford to see him privately to help those who need him on the NHS. I’d highly recommend you see him, @Lottie585 .

Congratulations on your pregnancy and try not to worry. 38 is a great age to be a Dad!

Double the risk can still be a vanishingly small risk. Chances are you’ll be fine.

I had mine between 39 & 46 while my father had me at 46 & my youngest brother at 50.

I raised an eyebrow when a very good friend became a first time Father at 54.

All you need to be concerned about is the financial impact.

Pretty normal age. My brother was 48 when he had his final child, 19 and 25 his first two.

When my two youngest were under 10 they were in the Canoe Club

I would have been in my mid 50's but there were quite a few dads who could justifiably call me 'Sonny' 'Young Man' etc

My FIL was 38, nearly 39, when DH was born. It was his first marriage and DH was his first (and only) child. (MIL was about 5 years younger.) I would say FIL was a good dad to DH and his age was never a problem - he was in good health and had plenty of energy into his mid 70s, and lived to be almost 90, which meant he got to see his grandchildren grow up and go to uni. I'm certainly very happy he didn't think he was too old to be a dad!

38 isn't old. There will be many people whose parents were 38 or older when they were born. My dad was 41 when I was born and I have younger siblings. None of us have mental health issues.
Don't doom scroll on the internet.

No I don't think so. DH was 41 when our first was born, 42 for the second. First kids. It's never been an issue. He is at the older end of our children's friends' parents, but not an outlier.

He’s already a Dad! So if he gets schizophrenia or whatever what’s the difference?

It's absolutely not too old. People have always had children at that age, even when in the past people used to marry and start a family earlier the younger children would often be born when they were relatively old. My gran and grandad were well into their 40s when they had their last child.

We had our DD when DH was 44. And he isn’t the oldest dad at nursery pick up!

One child I knew of had a sister who was about 30 years older than she was so goodness only knows how old dad was when she was born

Gentl6, OP, do you liveunder a rock? Do you not know people of both sexes who’ve had children at considerably older ages than 38?