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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is 38 too old to become a dad?

96 replies

Lottie585 · 22/12/2025 09:26

I'm 33 female and my husband is 38 male. We have 2 children and just recently found out that we are expecting a 3rd child. A happy accident if you like as we thought we were done but clearly not.

Since I found out that I'm pregnant I've been having all of these weird intrusive thoughts and I seem to be fixating on my husband's age. He is 38 and I'm terrified he is too old to be a dad. I googled it - stupidly! And it came up with an increased risk of loads of different things like schizophrenia.

Can anyone calm me down? I think (and hope) I'm being unreasonable but I don't know. I've never been this anxious during a pregnancy.

OP posts:
ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 22/12/2025 11:46

My Dad married late. He was 45 and 47 when his children were born. We're in our 60s now, and both perfectly healthy.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 11:46

No, of course not.
My husband was 45 when we had our second. Now 22, they have a really strong bond.
Sadly, some of his peers have lost younger parents.

Henbags · 22/12/2025 11:46

Is this a piss take? Wow, OP. Read the room.

OnlyYellowRoses · 22/12/2025 11:51

Nah, I just gave birth 4 months ago and my husband turned 54 a couple of weeks after. 38 is fine x

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 22/12/2025 11:53

YABVVVVU. 38 is a perfectly normal age to become a Dad. You’ve been lucky to have met someone and had babies young. Many, many other people don’t even meet their partners until they’re 38.

julesagain · 22/12/2025 11:54

I hope not as my Dad was fourty when I was born as was my Daughters Dad.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 22/12/2025 11:54

DP became a Dad at 43 and it/he has been great!

Curiousrobin · 22/12/2025 11:57

TheIceBear · 22/12/2025 11:44

its not too old. My mum had me at that age in the 80s as did plenty of people. What do you think used to happen before contraception was readily available ?

Show quote history

My grandmother had my uncle in her late thirties in the 70s! He was a happy accident after 3 kids already. Now she's in her early nineties and he's in his late fifties. I think it was more unusual but it certainly happened back then!

ThatNaiceMember · 22/12/2025 12:02

My dad was 38 and then 40, he lived to 86 so we had plenty of time, although I would have liked more ❤️

Bearbookagainandagain · 22/12/2025 12:04

What am I going to tell to my 41 yo husband! Our third is due in a few months...

Hedgehogbrown · 22/12/2025 12:08

Lottie585 · 22/12/2025 09:26

I'm 33 female and my husband is 38 male. We have 2 children and just recently found out that we are expecting a 3rd child. A happy accident if you like as we thought we were done but clearly not.

Since I found out that I'm pregnant I've been having all of these weird intrusive thoughts and I seem to be fixating on my husband's age. He is 38 and I'm terrified he is too old to be a dad. I googled it - stupidly! And it came up with an increased risk of loads of different things like schizophrenia.

Can anyone calm me down? I think (and hope) I'm being unreasonable but I don't know. I've never been this anxious during a pregnancy.

Ba hahahahaha 😂. Completely insulting post.

Bumply · 22/12/2025 12:16

My Dad was 49 when I was born.

I and my partner were 39 when DS2 was born.

38 should not be an issue.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 22/12/2025 12:19

Of course not. My dad was 38 when I was born in 1975. He was an older dad then when I was at school in a working class area but it's really normal now and it was normal in other spheres back then too. He died aged 81 so my DDs knew him well and spent a lot of fun times with him when they were younger.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 22/12/2025 12:20

What a strange question, do you live in an alternate reality to the rest of us?
Why do you think 38 is old?

passmeaglass · 22/12/2025 12:25

DH was 46 when my healthy DS was born

PfizerFan · 22/12/2025 12:26

I had my first (and only!) child at 38. Husband same age.

Freshstartyear25 · 22/12/2025 12:28

That’s a normal age, not old, not young, just right. DH was 37 when we had DC3 but because there’s a 10 year age gap between him and DC1, we felt a bit old at the beginning but now realise we’re the perfect age and probably young parents when we had DC1 so that was clouding our judgement

massinsaln · 22/12/2025 12:32

Socially, not at all. Biologically, sperm fragmentation increases significantly in men over 35, miscarriages increase, as do health conditions for the child. Sperm donors are under 40 for this reason. It's not unusual age at all, and just because the risks are higher doesn't mean there will be an issue in your individual situation.

Member984815 · 22/12/2025 12:39

That's not old at all, I think you need to speak to someone about the intrusive thoughts . It's weird the things that can come in to your mind when you are pregnant and get stuck in a loop and lead to unnecessary worry. I remember when my dm had her last baby she thought she was too old , she was early 30s but she had it in her head because she had the rest in her 20s and couldn't wrap her head around it.

Original poster
Lottie585 · 22/12/2025 12:45

Hedgehogbrown · 22/12/2025 12:08

Ba hahahahaha 😂. Completely insulting post.

Show quote history

I apologise. I didn't mean to be insulting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lottie585 · 22/12/2025 12:47

Thank you to everyone for your response. My thoughts are absolutely going around my head so I will talk to my midwife. It's interesting that these are signs of OCD. I wouldn't have thought this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lottie585 · 22/12/2025 12:48

Henbags · 22/12/2025 11:46

Is this a piss take? Wow, OP. Read the room.

I don't understand what you mean? I am sorry if I have insulted anyone.

OP posts:
Sixesandsevens67 · 22/12/2025 12:49

38 is fine. 48 too old in my opinion.

Hiptothisjive · 22/12/2025 12:50

Another insulting thread about being an parent over 35.

EchoesOfOurDreams · 22/12/2025 12:54

Lottie585 · 22/12/2025 12:48

I don't understand what you mean? I am sorry if I have insulted anyone.

Show quote history

Don't worry about it. Other posters probably are taking it literally what you have said but to those who have an anxiety disorder it is obvious that you are thinking irrationally and are having distressing and unwanted intrusive thoughts.

Definitely talk to your midwife or GP like I said. If your mental health is pretty bad they may refer you to the perinatal mental health team. I am under them now for my pregnancy as I have pre-existing OCD and GAD which has gotten worse during the pregnancy. They have been great with me so far.