Is 38 too old to become a dad?

[Lottie585]

I'm 33 female and my husband is 38 male. We have 2 children and just recently found out that we are expecting a 3rd child. A happy accident if you like as we thought we were done but clearly not.

Since I found out that I'm pregnant I've been having all of these weird intrusive thoughts and I seem to be fixating on my husband's age. He is 38 and I'm terrified he is too old to be a dad. I googled it - stupidly! And it came up with an increased risk of loads of different things like schizophrenia.

Can anyone calm me down? I think (and hope) I'm being unreasonable but I don't know. I've never been this anxious during a pregnancy.

I think it’s so common most parents are around this age now when having children, especially second or third children. It seems less common to have children younger now. I’m 32 and my youngest child is 5, I would say I am one of maybe three other parents from his class who are a similar age. The rest are 40s or even 50s to be honest.

My partner was a first time father at 42! My dad had his last at 46. I know multiple men who became fathers in their late 30s early 40s. 38 is not old at all.

Not at all! I didn’t become a mum till I was 37 and all my children are still under 6!

I know a man who has just become a dad at 50!

Before birth control was invented it was normal for couples to continue having children into their late 30s and 40s.

My grandparents had their last child when they were both 45

I'm 39 female and hadn't classified myself as quite over the hill yet 😂.

We have two children and probably not going to have a third, but I must admit my age hasn't really factored into that decision. One of my DC's friends' mums has just had a second child and she's 44.

Mick's a youngster. Now Bernie Eccleston...

It's totally normal and perfectly fine for someone to become a dad in their 30s and 40s.

Perfectly normal

Definitely not! My dad was 37 when my parents had me (I was their 3rd). Although I did lose my dad at a youngish age (I was 27) he died young (64) so it wasn't down to the fact he had me older. Cancer can get anyone at any age. The only sort of mental health I struggle from a bit is social anxiety but I've never been diagnosed with anything so it's not bad, and I certainly don't think it was down to my parents' ages. My older siblings have also struggled slightly with anxiety in different ways, but again not bad - this is most likely to just be genetic!

My husband would say too old because he was early 20s when we had ours and wouldn’t want to start again! But no it wouldn’t worry us from any other aspect other than our own situation.

My dad was 5 days away from his 60th birthday when I was born. I am (at least AFAIK) his first child. He was 63 when my brother was born.

I'd say it's a perfectly normal age for a baby and especially for a 3rd baby. I wouldn't say it was a young age to have a baby though like some previous posters but definitely normal.

Well assuming it was him who got you pregnant, clearly he is not too old to become a dad. I know men in their 50s and 60s who have become fathers to healthy children. If you're really that worried, and you weren't planning on having another child anyway, perhaps consider a termination.

Not at all. I am pregnant with our first and I will be 37 when they are born and my DH will be 39.

I think you need to speak to your midwife or GP about your mental health and intrusive thoughts though. I only suggest this because I have OCD and GAD and your thought patterns and obsessions about this minor issue, as well as trying to relieve the anxiety by googling about it, sound a lot like the behaviours of someone with OCD or GAD. These things can get worse in pregnancy as well due to the hormones.

Please please seek help if you are having intrusive thoughts.

My dad was 35 when he had me and 41 when he had my youngest brother.

He's been the best dad we could ask for and there's no disorders been passed to any of us as far as we know.

Please speak to your midwife about your increased health anxiety - it's normal to feel it and something loads of mum's go through, but you don't have to suffer alone!

38 is fine, however, intrusive thoughts are not. I had them during pregnancy and then developed PND afterwards, I still feel the two were linked and it was a red flag. Speak to your midwife about it so she can keep a close eye on you.

38 is very average - congratulations!

38 is fine, I think the risks are much more worth considering at older than this.

Late 30s and older is old to have a baby (man or woman) but not that unusual nowadays. My dd will be part way through secondary school by the time I’m 38.

There is an increased risk for all kinds of conditions the older the parent is but that's,it its just an increased risk the vast majority of pregnancies and babies will be healthy.

It's fine, I know plenty of guys who became dads in their 40s and a few in their 50s and it's not been a issue.

What ?? I just had a baby aged 38. My mother had me at almost 39. Sorry but you are being absolutely ridiculous. Some men have kids in their 70s

its not too old. My mum had me at that age in the 80s as did plenty of people. What do you think used to happen before contraception was readily available ?