Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 18:13

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 16:35

You can't just switch roles in the NHS. Working in the NHS does not mean you can just be moved about into different jobs with a bit of training. You have to apply for vacancies as they come up.
A porter who can no longer do the job due to a new disability would not be moved to another department and trained up. He would have to leave his job, and retrain and get a job elsewhere that would suit him better. I think you think the NHS is like one big family that looks after its own. It really isn't 😆

But if the illness qualifies as disability under the EA2010, they’re breaking the law. Disability is a protected characteristic and if the employee declares it, employers are required to seek reasonable adjustment for the fact that an employee needs support to do their job because of it. It’s against the law to sack a disabled employee out of hand without doing this. The key word is reasonable here, but the employer would still have to show that they’ve explored all options and say why there is no reasonable adjustment available.

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 18:16

ChubRubADub · 21/12/2025 14:35

Probably explains why the NHS is on its knees with people skiving off on full pay with zero consequences all the time

Since when is being diagnosed with a disability and expecting the employer to discharge their duties under the law ‘skiving off’?

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 18:19

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 18:13

But if the illness qualifies as disability under the EA2010, they’re breaking the law. Disability is a protected characteristic and if the employee declares it, employers are required to seek reasonable adjustment for the fact that an employee needs support to do their job because of it. It’s against the law to sack a disabled employee out of hand without doing this. The key word is reasonable here, but the employer would still have to show that they’ve explored all options and say why there is no reasonable adjustment available.

Yes, that is true, but in the example of a porter losing their legs, there would not be any job they could be moved to within hotel services as they are all very physical. The only "desk job" role was that of the manager.

There was no reasonable adjustments that could have been made for me, despite Occy Health saying I was protected under EA2010, but my manager was an arsehole and wanted me gone anyway.

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 18:24

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 18:19

Yes, that is true, but in the example of a porter losing their legs, there would not be any job they could be moved to within hotel services as they are all very physical. The only "desk job" role was that of the manager.

There was no reasonable adjustments that could have been made for me, despite Occy Health saying I was protected under EA2010, but my manager was an arsehole and wanted me gone anyway.

Hotel????

You said you worked for the nhs which was why we were discussing it in the first place and why it was given as an example because there are plenty of alternatives within the nhs

I’m afraid your manager not liking you is another issue though

Livpool · 21/12/2025 18:30

YANBU- I have asthma so cough a lot (always cover my mouth). During the pandemic I
sometimes used to take a puff of my inhaler to show it wasn’t Covid!

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 18:30

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 18:24

Hotel????

You said you worked for the nhs which was why we were discussing it in the first place and why it was given as an example because there are plenty of alternatives within the nhs

I’m afraid your manager not liking you is another issue though

Hotel services is the name of the department in the NHS that looks after the cleaners, porters and drivers. Cleaners were called Hotel Services Assistants.

Edited to add that Hotel Services also covers catering and linen too.

Binus · 21/12/2025 18:40

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 18:30

Hotel services is the name of the department in the NHS that looks after the cleaners, porters and drivers. Cleaners were called Hotel Services Assistants.

Edited to add that Hotel Services also covers catering and linen too.

Edited

Mmm, it's almost like that poster hasn't got a fucking clue what she's talking about. Though I suppose the suggestion that a porter who'd lost the use of their legs could be a security guard instead should've been our first clue...

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 18:44

Binus · 21/12/2025 18:40

Mmm, it's almost like that poster hasn't got a fucking clue what she's talking about. Though I suppose the suggestion that a porter who'd lost the use of their legs could be a security guard instead should've been our first clue...

Exactly. Or there is a porter desk job. I fucking wish!

Daaaaahling · 21/12/2025 18:47

Morecoombe · 21/12/2025 12:04

I can tell the difference from someone who has a nasty cough than someone with a bit of a lingering cough. Also people who are unwell know the difference. If you know you’re unwell try not to spread your germs out of sheer common courtesy.

No you can't, that's absolute bullshit

Chinsupmeloves · 21/12/2025 18:57

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:52

Life doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. You can’t coop yourself up in your house every time you get a cold. I would be going insane.

Indeed, workplaces are full of coughing, the country would come to a stop if everyone isolated for a cold.

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 18:57

Binus · 21/12/2025 18:40

Mmm, it's almost like that poster hasn't got a fucking clue what she's talking about. Though I suppose the suggestion that a porter who'd lost the use of their legs could be a security guard instead should've been our first clue...

I think it comes from the incorrect assumption that reasonable adjustment has to be found in all cases. The key word is reasonable. Sometimes it just isn’t possible to accommodate someone in a different role, but that doesn’t absolve the employer of the responsibility to ensure there are no alternatives before moving to dismissal.

Binus · 21/12/2025 19:04

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 18:57

I think it comes from the incorrect assumption that reasonable adjustment has to be found in all cases. The key word is reasonable. Sometimes it just isn’t possible to accommodate someone in a different role, but that doesn’t absolve the employer of the responsibility to ensure there are no alternatives before moving to dismissal.

I think she's gone several miles beyond that!

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 19:15

Binus · 21/12/2025 18:40

Mmm, it's almost like that poster hasn't got a fucking clue what she's talking about. Though I suppose the suggestion that a porter who'd lost the use of their legs could be a security guard instead should've been our first clue...

That was the recommendation to upgrade and/ or move from portering
Not specific to losing both legs just an alternative should portering no longer be an option
Assumed the list would be obvious as the varied choice available

Also assume anyone working for the nhs will know they can’t just be sacked ‘just like that’ because they’ve been off sick.

but perhaps the conversation should have been about hotels anyway. That’s popped up from nowhere 🤣

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 19:17

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 19:15

That was the recommendation to upgrade and/ or move from portering
Not specific to losing both legs just an alternative should portering no longer be an option
Assumed the list would be obvious as the varied choice available

Also assume anyone working for the nhs will know they can’t just be sacked ‘just like that’ because they’ve been off sick.

but perhaps the conversation should have been about hotels anyway. That’s popped up from nowhere 🤣

You can be sacked for having too much sickness absence.
And again, Hotel Services is the name of the NHS department that deals with porters, cleaners, drivers, catering and linen.

Straycats · 21/12/2025 19:20

muggart · 20/12/2025 18:03

i don’t know how you cope with that. do you just stop catching them after being exposed to so many?

It’s unusual for me to ever get ill, I’ve had several years clean record of no sick days. I am relaxed and am of opinion that in being high contact with others, bugs and all keeps my immune system ticking over. I am the first to clean little ones runny noses too.

Straycats · 21/12/2025 19:23

XenoBitch · 20/12/2025 18:04

I knew a couple who would wear masks in the car when it was just them. Not at home though. My mind still boggles.

Agree, saw a woman in her 30’s in her car on her own, wearing a mask.
I’ve never bought one. Disagree with them.

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 19:24

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 19:17

You can be sacked for having too much sickness absence.
And again, Hotel Services is the name of the NHS department that deals with porters, cleaners, drivers, catering and linen.

Agree. And there’s a world of difference between being sacked for having too much sick time, and being dismissed because you can no longer do your job due to disability.

greenwithglee · 21/12/2025 19:24

It's gross. Go out if you need to, but sitting in a coffee shop is hardly a need is it?

Stay away from other people where possible, go out if you have to, but avoid non-essential trips. It's not hard.

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 19:24

greenwithglee · 21/12/2025 19:24

It's gross. Go out if you need to, but sitting in a coffee shop is hardly a need is it?

Stay away from other people where possible, go out if you have to, but avoid non-essential trips. It's not hard.

Where is the guidance that states this? Are we in 2020?

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 19:26

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 19:15

That was the recommendation to upgrade and/ or move from portering
Not specific to losing both legs just an alternative should portering no longer be an option
Assumed the list would be obvious as the varied choice available

Also assume anyone working for the nhs will know they can’t just be sacked ‘just like that’ because they’ve been off sick.

but perhaps the conversation should have been about hotels anyway. That’s popped up from nowhere 🤣

No it hasn’t popped up from nowhere. The poster explained very clearly that ‘Hotel’ is the general term used to describe NHS employees in services such as portering, catering, linen, cleaning etc. It’s not rocket science.

OkWinifred · 21/12/2025 19:27

But you probably did infect a fair few people and just before Christmas.

greenwithglee · 21/12/2025 19:27

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 19:24

Where is the guidance that states this? Are we in 2020?

It's common sense. And the reason the government told us to do it in 2020 was that it works.

Unfortunately now we live in a selfish society where one persons need to sit hacking their guts up in a coffee shop outweighs everything else.

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 19:28

greenwithglee · 21/12/2025 19:24

It's gross. Go out if you need to, but sitting in a coffee shop is hardly a need is it?

Stay away from other people where possible, go out if you have to, but avoid non-essential trips. It's not hard.

But OP wasn’t coughing because of the cold - she wasn’t ill. She had a tickle in her throat. This isn’t 2020.

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 19:28

Binus · 21/12/2025 19:04

I think she's gone several miles beyond that!

I’m aware it’s not always possible @Rosscameasdoody . Of course it can’t always be

but let’s be clear here
OP has a sinus issue, has had a cold last week and hasn’t in fact lost both legs

So it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume she could have taken time off working as she noted she does work amongst patients. So not in an office and remote from the ill. Or perhaps at least wear a mask which she’s says she doesn’t do or own.
The nhs do supply them to use at work
The nhs in many hospitals are asking staff to wear them at the moment.
Given the information from OP and for want of time off work whilst currently unwell she could have done so
reasonable adjustments given her sinus condition on returning are possible at this time. ( no other info has been given )
Sacking staff would be an absolute last resort if nothing could be achieved
or
as I noted upthread staff don’t engage etc etc

There are excellent protections and support in place for nhs staff

( mixed changing rooms aside of course )

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 19:29

greenwithglee · 21/12/2025 19:27

It's common sense. And the reason the government told us to do it in 2020 was that it works.

Unfortunately now we live in a selfish society where one persons need to sit hacking their guts up in a coffee shop outweighs everything else.

OP has post nasal drip, and has also did a test and posted the results for both Covid and flu (both -ve).