Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

[wildgreyocean]

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

Ive got a bit of a cold. Out of sheer curiosity (i knew what her response would be tbf) i messaged my friend im going shopping and lunch with later to let her know in case she wanted to cancel or have a go at me for even thinking about going out in public and got "dont be an absolute fanny, see you at 10"

i meant for jobs where it could be possible ie you don’t need to be there in person with the public.

Just one example . I’ve been to meetings with service providers in the past where one of their people turns up coughing or full of cold with an “ oh I’ve got a bit of a cold!”

we weren’t impressed as we then caught it & it went around our office . various people ended up off sick themselves including my boss.

They should disclose sickness before the meeting .

anyway It soured the relationship and my boss cancelled the contract , that being an underlying reason that we never mentioned. We just didnt want to deal with that careless client facing person again (or the company that allowed them attend)

I didn't say OP was in the wrong but there are 2 sides to this. He reacted out of fear and, from their replies, the OP doesn't seem an over-sensitive bunny to me so I don't see it as any big deal. Does he stay indoors in case someone coughs near him or does OP stay out of coffee shops in case she coughs near a vulnerable person? It's all a nothing really.

Maybe vulnerable people shouldn't be going into busy coffee shops then? It's swings and roundabouts, isn't it. Illness is an unfortunate fact of life. People who are more vulnerable to illness than others are also a fact of life. Why is the onus more on one group than another to protect the more vulnerable people? Isn't it their job to protect themselves?

I say this as someone who actually does have health anxiety (which I acknowledge to be my problem) and especially in the run up to Christmas. I find it troublesome and anxiety-inducing when in an enclosed public space and there is a clearly unwell person there. However, I acknowledge that illness is a fact of life and that it would be wholly unreasonable to expect anyone to act differently to accommodate me.

I think if you feel poorly and have a heavy cold, it's polite to stay away from busy public spaces where you could infect others. If, like the OP, you have a mild cold and lingering cough, but feel well enough to be out and about, it's fine to do so. As a person with health anxiety (or if I were particularly vulnerable to a respiratory infection), it is my responsibility to avoid busy places where possible if I want to avoid getting ill. It isn't anyone else's responsibility to ensure I avoid illness but mine if i so choose.

It really isn't. It's entitled and ridiculous to suggest that anyone with a cold but who feels well enough to crack on with everyday life shouldn't do so in case someone else catches their cold.

As I say, I get very anxious in public spaces when someone is clearly full of cold but it's on me to then leave if I don't like it. I'm nobody's problem but my own.

All this ‘the country would grind to a halt if we weren’t out spreading our bugs’ is clearly cope from people who are lazy and selfish and it makes no sense if you’re going to make even more people sick. If you’re going to be visibly gross and ill in public after a literal pandemic which left people injured and dead be prepared to be called out for it now and again. Sitting in a cafe isn’t necessary and you’re the sick one so you should be avoiding it not others. I know we were pushed and pulled in various directions 5 years ago depending on what the economy needed at the time but FFS come on.

I mean, that's true but in fact the smoker's hack wouldn't be contagious whereas the tickle, if the beginnings of a cold, could well be.

If you’re going to be visibly gross and ill in public after a literal pandemic which left people injured and dead be prepared to be called out for it now and again.

This sort of thing exemplifies exactly why such people need to be told to fuck off, again and again. We simply cannot allow random entitled busybodies to decide whether someone with a cough should be allowed to move unmolested in public space or not.

Maybe we could all have a little bell when we are sick and go out. Then we could shout unclean (in crocky voices). So people could move away.

Problem solved for all. Might send that to Wes Sterling as free advice.

I've had a cough for 3 months now, stayed away for the first month and was careful the second month but this 3rd month been almost normal except for the cough. Dr's have said I'm fine now and cough can linger for a lot longer so will have to live with it. I'm not going to lock myself away anymore as I can't. Also my son has asthma and he's been coughing this week with that as he does each winter in the air change. Inhaler helps usually

Yep pp thinking it’s ok to yell at anyone is the bigger problem.

But much as some posters on this thread wish it otherwise, there is no societal norm much less guidance that people must stay at home with minor ailments. It's really not on to admonish strangers in public because they're breaking a non-existent rule.

Dozens of people have also pointed out that coughs do not mean a person is infectious. He had no way of knowing why the op was coughing and despite any anxiety - and I think we can all sympathise with the sinking feeling you get when you're on a train or in a queue near someone with a bad cough - it's not acceptable to tell people off.

Well said. I recall people talking about when we'd start treating covid like a cold and get on with life again. Some people on this thread seem to want to treat colds like covid instead and, worse, act as self-appointed enforcers.

Self-righteously 'calling out' others 'again and again' for coughs that may have nothing to do with infections is beyond entitled. I'm asthmatic and can have very bad coughs. I do not have to explain myself when out and about and I will certainly not be secluding myself. There are many things I find 'visibly gross' when out and about but I don't get to harangue people who aren't actually transgressing any rules.

Exactly. Cafe would also lose money if every potential customer with a sniffle stayed at home. Hospitality would really struggle in winter, and I imagine it’s already a tough business.
I also find it interesting how people who never missed an opportunity to remind everyone that IT’S NOT A COLD! during Covid have now moved onto reprimanding people with colds.

I do agree but I would think it was a knee-jerk reaction and he may even have regretted it! Who knows, it's becoming a storm in a teacup tbh.

A friend of mine started teaching last year. She said the first winter she was constantly getting sick, but this year she’s been okay so far.
Similar when kids start nursery, the first winder they pick up every bug there is and then it usually calms down.

So person full of cold & cough sitting in cafe is entitled to stay there but anyone in there who doesn’t want to catch it must leave ? That makes no sense .

I’m sure coffee shops will really appreciate it if everyone with a stuffy nose or a tickly throat stays away, great for business.

If person feels well enough to be out not only are they entitled to sit in the cafe, they are also following the NHS guidelines.

Full of coughs and colds probably wouldn’t feel well enough to do it.

I have asthma and when I am having a flare up, I can cough for weeks after a cold. This is related to inflammation in my airways and isn't infectious. There are very many other lung conditions which may cause persistent coughing, dry or wet sounding, that isn't remotely infectious.

I think you and several others need to re evaluate your attitude. If you can't abide human coughing I suggest it is you that doesn't go out.

I’m not pp, but being shouted at by a random stranger is definitely way worse than a common cold.

so all the well people who want to stay well need to leave a cafe because of one selfish sick person wants to stay . If sick person wants to stay then they are free to do so but they must be prepared for a bit of backlash from people who want to tell them they’re selfish! If I was sat next to them I’d walk out & tell them they’re selfish on my way out

No it’s not. Words are just words . Physical illness is worse

I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s never happened to you before. It was horrible, embarrassing and upsetting. I’d rather a heavy cold than that!