Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴

894 replies

wildgreyocean · 20/12/2025 15:47

I know I’m not being unreasonable here but I just need some reassurance! I was in a coffee shop after popping to the shops and got a tickle in my throat. I’ve had a cold all week but nothing too severe. I coughed and next thing I know an old man is shouting at me that I’m being selfish and should be self isolating at home, and “don’t I know the NHS is on its knees?!”

AIBU to think this is a total overreaction to a cough?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
sciaticafanatica · 21/12/2025 12:39

@KittyFantastica it is on you to keep the baby away from germs not on the general public to stay home.

Morecoombe · 21/12/2025 12:40

wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 12:34

Any sickness on here is treated as though it must be norovirus.

i was sick once because of a hangover. Asked for quick cures and got told I must isolate for at least a week lest I spread norovirus across the globe. It was just a hangover 😂

Show quote history

Newsflash - if you ask for a cure for vomiting, then people actually aren’t psychic and know that you’re just hungover 😂

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 12:45

Morecoombe · 21/12/2025 12:40

Newsflash - if you ask for a cure for vomiting, then people actually aren’t psychic and know that you’re just hungover 😂

Show quote history

I literally posted asking for hangover cures after I had been sick and got the same nuts responses. Some of you are just over cautious! But I am glad that you will pay my wages when I get sacked for going off sick

OP posts:
Binus · 21/12/2025 12:46

I can tell the difference from someone who has a nasty cough than someone with a bit of a lingering cough.

Lmao no you can't. And you especially can't tell the difference between one from someone who's contagious and who has a chronic condition. This is Dunning Kruger in action!

Megifer · 21/12/2025 12:54

wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 12:45

I literally posted asking for hangover cures after I had been sick and got the same nuts responses. Some of you are just over cautious! But I am glad that you will pay my wages when I get sacked for going off sick

Show quote history

I had similar when I posted years ago about DS who was sick in the evening after eating an entire bag of family size sweets. I mentioned hed gone into school, school had even said he was fine to go in when I explained but I still had posters saying he should be off 48 hrs 🤣

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 13:02

Binus · 21/12/2025 12:46

I can tell the difference from someone who has a nasty cough than someone with a bit of a lingering cough.

Lmao no you can't. And you especially can't tell the difference between one from someone who's contagious and who has a chronic condition. This is Dunning Kruger in action!

This. I had radiotherapy earlier this year for breast cancer, and it’s left me with a permanent cough, which can be quite uncontrollable and sounds awful at times. I’ve had people comment that I should stay at home until I’m ‘better’. I’ve given up explaining now.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 13:09

Megifer · 21/12/2025 12:54

I had similar when I posted years ago about DS who was sick in the evening after eating an entire bag of family size sweets. I mentioned hed gone into school, school had even said he was fine to go in when I explained but I still had posters saying he should be off 48 hrs 🤣

Show quote history

It’s baffling. I don’t know how some people function

OP posts:
LighthouseLED · 21/12/2025 13:12

Rosscameasdoody · 21/12/2025 13:02

This. I had radiotherapy earlier this year for breast cancer, and it’s left me with a permanent cough, which can be quite uncontrollable and sounds awful at times. I’ve had people comment that I should stay at home until I’m ‘better’. I’ve given up explaining now.

Show quote history

This was like my late father - left with a permanent cough following surgery for cancer that sounded like he was about to drop dead on the spot.

Was great fun for him during Covid times.

Which is also why it’s always unreasonable to say anything to a stranger coughing in your vicinity. You don’t know what is causing it, they may very well not be unwell anyway, and all you’re doing is making yourself look a tit.

inamarina · 21/12/2025 13:13

ObelixtheGaul · 20/12/2025 21:41

Funny thing is, with MN logic, the instant anyone talks about keeping their child off school or (heaven forbid) an adult having a day off for a cold, it's all 'oh, it's just a cold, nobody should be off with a cold, blah-de-blah'. Go to a coffee shop and suddenly you shouldn't be out in public.

Show quote history

Exactly. I’ve often seen people on here berating others for trying to work from home with a sick child.
People are told to take time off in cases like these, yet that wouldn’t be feasible if children stayed home with every mild cold.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 14:11

Well no Covid and no flu. So hopefully that old man is having a rubbish day today.

Just got shouted at in a coffee shop for coughing in public 🥴
OP posts:
LighthouseLED · 21/12/2025 14:30

I kind of love that the markings on the flu test side read CBA

ChubRubADub · 21/12/2025 14:35

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 12:26

and yet in the nhs that’s vanishingly rare
They have all manner of mechanisms to work around illnesses and as long as people work within that and engage with the process they arent
They would only be made redundant if they could no longer work at all and adjustments weren’t possible in order to achieve getting them back to work
a few examples might be
A surgeon going blind may not be able to be a surgeon anymore but could be a consultant with support in an advisory role but not operating
A porter who loses both legs and can’t push a trolley in a wheelchair may be given a desk job managing porters if he’s prepared to train

If however neither engage or are found to be lying about their illnesses then there’s only so much the nhs can do

Absence itself is not a reason within the nhs to sack someone

( Gross misconduct etc are obv separate reasons to sack people but irrelevant here )

Show quote history

Probably explains why the NHS is on its knees with people skiving off on full pay with zero consequences all the time

shuggles · 21/12/2025 14:35

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 20/12/2025 20:54

Thank you for not taking the time to click on or even read any of the links you seemed so anxious to receive,

If you had you would have seen that the articles are quoting the UKHSA and NHS bosses, including the chief of NHS London.

It is NHS guidance.

Show quote history

You are literally making things up. There is no public health guidance from the NHS for people to isolate if they have a cough or the common cold.

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 14:36

LighthouseLED · 21/12/2025 14:30

I kind of love that the markings on the flu test side read CBA

Haha yes, sums me up to be honest.

OP posts:
inamarina · 21/12/2025 14:39

Morecoombe · 21/12/2025 12:00

No it’s not. Words are just words . Physical illness is worse

Edited
Show quote history

Well, that’s your opinion, not general truth 🤷‍♀️

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 15:57

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 12:26

and yet in the nhs that’s vanishingly rare
They have all manner of mechanisms to work around illnesses and as long as people work within that and engage with the process they arent
They would only be made redundant if they could no longer work at all and adjustments weren’t possible in order to achieve getting them back to work
a few examples might be
A surgeon going blind may not be able to be a surgeon anymore but could be a consultant with support in an advisory role but not operating
A porter who loses both legs and can’t push a trolley in a wheelchair may be given a desk job managing porters if he’s prepared to train

If however neither engage or are found to be lying about their illnesses then there’s only so much the nhs can do

Absence itself is not a reason within the nhs to sack someone

( Gross misconduct etc are obv separate reasons to sack people but irrelevant here )

Show quote history

I was sacked from the NHS due to sickness absences. You can't make adjustments for everything.
And I know it was an example, but there is no desk job managing porters. When I was one, we had a supervisor who managed us but they were also part of the team so very much a physical job still.

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:12

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 15:57

I was sacked from the NHS due to sickness absences. You can't make adjustments for everything.
And I know it was an example, but there is no desk job managing porters. When I was one, we had a supervisor who managed us but they were also part of the team so very much a physical job still.

Show quote history

Yes it was just an ‘ off the top of my head random example’ but here you go Xeno off a quick google what a porter can switch to

  1. Senior Porter/Supervisor: Progress to a Team Leader or Head Porter, supervising other porters.
  2. Management: Become a Porter Manager, overseeing services across a site.
  3. Estates & Facilities: Transfer to roles like Security Officer, Domestic Services, or Linen Services.
  4. Clinical Support: Move into roles like Healthcare Assistant (HCA) or Ambulance Care Assistant, which often involves direct patient care.
  5. Specialist Porter: Focus on specific areas like sterile services transport.
Original poster
wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 16:19

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:12

Yes it was just an ‘ off the top of my head random example’ but here you go Xeno off a quick google what a porter can switch to

  1. Senior Porter/Supervisor: Progress to a Team Leader or Head Porter, supervising other porters.
  2. Management: Become a Porter Manager, overseeing services across a site.
  3. Estates & Facilities: Transfer to roles like Security Officer, Domestic Services, or Linen Services.
  4. Clinical Support: Move into roles like Healthcare Assistant (HCA) or Ambulance Care Assistant, which often involves direct patient care.
  5. Specialist Porter: Focus on specific areas like sterile services transport.
Edited
Show quote history

What’s that got to do with me potentially taking 2-3 weeks off every time I get a cold?

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 16:22

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:12

Yes it was just an ‘ off the top of my head random example’ but here you go Xeno off a quick google what a porter can switch to

  1. Senior Porter/Supervisor: Progress to a Team Leader or Head Porter, supervising other porters.
  2. Management: Become a Porter Manager, overseeing services across a site.
  3. Estates & Facilities: Transfer to roles like Security Officer, Domestic Services, or Linen Services.
  4. Clinical Support: Move into roles like Healthcare Assistant (HCA) or Ambulance Care Assistant, which often involves direct patient care.
  5. Specialist Porter: Focus on specific areas like sterile services transport.
Edited
Show quote history

I was a porter for years and knew how it worked. You can't just switch to other roles. That is not how it works. This AI slop you posted has no idea. Portering is a dead end job. You don't move up the ranks as there are no ranks to move up to. We had a supervisor who had to specifically apply for the job but he was also a porter. He didn't have a desk.
Our manager run all of hotel services (so was in charge of the cleaners, porters and drivers too). High band. He used to run a chain of restaurants. We were band 1.
You can't just move departments in the NHS. They all have their own managers, and budgets. You have to apply for jobs just like anyone else. One of my colleagues was off for months with a broken leg. He could not rock up to ward and ask to be put on reception. And most NHS trusts don't employ their own cleaners and porters anymore anyway.

Megifer · 21/12/2025 16:29

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 16:22

I was a porter for years and knew how it worked. You can't just switch to other roles. That is not how it works. This AI slop you posted has no idea. Portering is a dead end job. You don't move up the ranks as there are no ranks to move up to. We had a supervisor who had to specifically apply for the job but he was also a porter. He didn't have a desk.
Our manager run all of hotel services (so was in charge of the cleaners, porters and drivers too). High band. He used to run a chain of restaurants. We were band 1.
You can't just move departments in the NHS. They all have their own managers, and budgets. You have to apply for jobs just like anyone else. One of my colleagues was off for months with a broken leg. He could not rock up to ward and ask to be put on reception. And most NHS trusts don't employ their own cleaners and porters anymore anyway.

Show quote history

I am loving the idea that someone under formal end stage absence management procedures in the NHS is simply switched to a managerial role 🤣

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:31

Megifer · 21/12/2025 16:29

I am loving the idea that someone under formal end stage absence management procedures in the NHS is simply switched to a managerial role 🤣

Show quote history

With training and support for someone who can no longer do their job due to illness

climb that ladder

The nhs do not sack you just because of illness.

If you’re sacked it’s because of something else eg not following procedure, not engaging in the process, something else like gross misconduct or just not bothering to do your job after warnings

XenoBitch · 21/12/2025 16:35

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:31

With training and support for someone who can no longer do their job due to illness

climb that ladder

The nhs do not sack you just because of illness.

If you’re sacked it’s because of something else eg not following procedure, not engaging in the process, something else like gross misconduct or just not bothering to do your job after warnings

Edited
Show quote history

You can't just switch roles in the NHS. Working in the NHS does not mean you can just be moved about into different jobs with a bit of training. You have to apply for vacancies as they come up.
A porter who can no longer do the job due to a new disability would not be moved to another department and trained up. He would have to leave his job, and retrain and get a job elsewhere that would suit him better. I think you think the NHS is like one big family that looks after its own. It really isn't 😆

Original poster
wildgreyocean · 21/12/2025 16:37

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:31

With training and support for someone who can no longer do their job due to illness

climb that ladder

The nhs do not sack you just because of illness.

If you’re sacked it’s because of something else eg not following procedure, not engaging in the process, something else like gross misconduct or just not bothering to do your job after warnings

Edited
Show quote history

You’re just plain wrong.

OP posts:
Megifer · 21/12/2025 16:38

StandingSideBySide · 21/12/2025 16:31

With training and support for someone who can no longer do their job due to illness

climb that ladder

The nhs do not sack you just because of illness.

If you’re sacked it’s because of something else eg not following procedure, not engaging in the process, something else like gross misconduct or just not bothering to do your job after warnings

Edited
Show quote history

You are very, very wrong. I must have advised on approx 15+ capability dismissals in my 9 month stint in the NHS over 3 trusts.

IMissTheLittleBluePackets · 21/12/2025 16:41

The amount of grown people that I've seen in shops and cafes coughing up everywhere is appalling. I've seen people in supermarkets open fridges to get cheese, butter etc, and cough allll over the produce.

My tolerance levels are nearly zero but I've managed to resist the urge to tell people off so far. It's a matter of time though, covering your bloody mouth is just basic courtesy. Not saying you didn't do that OP.