A secret Santa one (peed off)

[OneGreyBiscuit]

Went out with girls from work and done secret Santa. The spend was £20. I got a tiny box of celebrations, cheap socks with my initial on and mug with my name inserted into a quote. It basically looked like a raffle and nowhere near £20 worth, a tenner at best. I had to sit there and watch others opening some lovely things - an ornament from next, no7 stuff, fuzzy duck, perfume. And the thing is I know full well who it was from. Obviously that person doesn't think as much of me as I hoped. Aibu to feel a little miffed? Id appreciate no hateful comments as I feel crap enough.

Well I have literally gone at EVERY angle to figure out what could have possibly upset a sane person and you have explained its non of them.

If the quote couldn't be read offensively then HOW was it read offensively?

I think the personalised mug sounds nice.
I’ve had some nice SS gifts and some not so nice. I didn’t do it this year and after seeing my colleagues open their gifts I’m glad I didn’t. Then again I’m trying to clear out this year so I’m not really into ‘stuff.’

Ah don't worry about it. All the presents you've described are pretty generic. That's including the one you gave.

You met your friends and hopefully had a laugh. Don't read too much into the Secret Santa bit.

What exactly about a mug and a pair of socks suggests “spectacularly bad taste”?
Especially when you consider the gift going the other way consisted of a Baylis and Harding gift set?

You can barely get a lunch for £20 these days. No idea what grand gift you expected for that amount.

No because she said Poundland earlier 🙄

OP, you brought it on yourself.

Whilst I personally think your BU about your gift, as I've always been brought up about been greatful for the effort someone's put into something rather than what I've been given if I don't like it, can always pop it to charity etc. But going through what you've put OP, why are you still friends with these people if you feel your at the bottom of this friendship group? Or have I misread what you've wrote?

I think you'te underestimating the cost of the gifts to be honest.
A personalised mug, socks, and a box of choclates sounds about £20 to me. They're also "safe" gifts, they may not be exactly what you'd choose, but they're also all things most people would like/use.

There is a good reason, I do not do a secret Santa at work. We have a group of friends who use Elfster so we know what they want, tenner (ish) max, job done

In my experience there is always one person who is disappointed.

many years ago the office I was in did secret Santa max £5 & everything had to come from the pound shop, some people were very inventive & it was a bit of fun.

Secret Santa can be shit - some people are great at finding gifts and others aren’t. The best one we had was a £1 limit - okay about 8 years ago but people came up with some really good/inventive or funny gifts … I suppose expectations are much lower too

Those sound like very thoughtful presents. Someone has taken the time to order in advance with you in mind.
What did you gift to your person?
YABU

I mean... some people just aren't great gift givers, shes obviously missed the mark and youd have preffered the things you listed but i don't think theyre wildly off, and honestly, I'd prefer a mug, socks and chocolates over those horrid generic fuzzy duck or BH toiletries you get in every raffle - its just personal isnt it and I get that it feels to you like she should know what you like. Sounds like it misses the mark for you, but it's not thoughtless and it's gonna be more than a fiver for the mug, more than a fiver for personalised socks, then postage, wrapping and chocolates on top- so they're not being that tight. I'd just say get over it tbh, there are worse crimes in the world! Also, they might have things going on that really mean this is absolutely bottom of things to give a sh*t about and you might not be aware. So I'd be grateful for friendship, grateful for a fun christmassy time together and just move on.

@OneGreyBiscuit lots of people on here who go off on one without actually reading the post properly... just ignore.

I'd be rather miffed with that gift. I can trump it though. Previously I'd been bought a huge bag full of super noodles as that was very much what I ate at lunch time. It was hilarious and brilliant. Our budget was £10. Last year I got given 2 share bags of crisps. That was it. They were £1.50 each. I don't even eat crisps. I'm pretty sure it was my boss. Everyone else was opening nice thoughtful presents but i literally got crisps. I actually felt quite sad that someone thought that little of me.

Yeah cant be that cheap!

small celebrations £4
socks with initial £8
cup £8

Secret Santa is always shit.

Good grief. The pity party is in full swing here.

In my experience secret santa is always a bit crap. We do a family one. Even with a £50 budget though it's still rubbish trying to get something for the sake of getting something.

Cost wise, I think you've underestimated a bit (which you seem to have accepted I think from skimming your replies). You can't get much for 10 or 20 quid these days. I bought a mug alone for £14 quid last year (it was for me and makes me smile everytime I use it though so £14 well spent).

One thing to say though that it may not be who you think it was. Someone could have bought things they'd think you'd think were from that person to try to throw you off.

(But don't post in aibu unless you're prepared to be piled on! This is mn!)

I think it sounds like £20. One year the person that got me decided to not take part but not tell anyone. I by chance had also got them a really lovely thoughtful present. It was still lying on their desk in January. I've not been a fan of Secret Santa since

I agree it’s a bit ridiculous. What were you expecting op? She was probably scared to get it wrong so went generic. Tbh it’s quite clear you get offended very easily!

One of the secret santas left their present at home. Guess who didn’t get one? That would be me. Socks and a personalised mug sounds good

This is part of Secret Santa. Everyone places different value on gifts. I’m very much a “present person”, I love giving and receiving gifts and put a lot of effort in. But I completely get not everyone is that fussed about presents. For a lot of people a present (especially secret Santa) is just a token thing - they will pick something up without too much thought and not worry about it more than that.

To add - I did a work secret Santa once where we all went out to dinner (15 of us) and I got nothing. I worked closely with the man and he just said “oh you know how busy we’ve been, I haven’t had time” - he was very senior and I was entry level (first job). I did feel a bit like “the little person that didn’t matter” but laughed it off and just put it down to some people not being very good at gifting.

I don’t think many people like Bayling and Hardis. They are about the cheapest you can get and don’t smell nice. But if I received them I would just pop them in the charity shop. I certainly would not be treating it like drama of the year. Socks and a mug would be much more useful