To feel a bit gutted it will be 2027 before I get the house to myself

[chocolatesprinklesonmylatte]

I work two days a week; these are the days DH wfh.

I have a two year old who goes to nursery on my working days. The rest of the week she’s obviously with me.

I have realised I won’t therefore have the house to myself until 2027, when my two year old starts school!

I don’t know why it’s suddenly hit me! Probably because I saw a day for school aged children advertised on 2nd January. My toddler goes to nursery but I won’t be back until the Monday so I thought I could have a day ‘off’ but if DH is there I’ll just feel I’m in the way.

Are there any holiday clubs running where you could send DS?

I think the people saying pathetic about not taking two kids out by themselves are forgetting the ease totally depends on where you live! We're in London so there's always free indoor stuff to do with kids. I imagine taking two children out all day is a bit more difficult in a small town with two parks and a baby group in the library once a week for example. Especially considering limited budget/public transport and weather right now. I have 6 and 2 year olds and I take them out every day (home ed the eldest) but it isn't fun or pleasant every day, often it's hard work and I'd just like to go home!

It isn’t enjoyable as you obv don’t lay down boundaries and discipline them

start laying down the law. Following through and they will be better behaved an nicer for you and dh

neither of you went to take both kids out alone

that’s a serious problem and needs dealing with

Oh OP, I can’t imagine not having a day to myself ever!
Can you book a days leave to do something / go somewhere alone when she is at nursery? Appreciate that most annual leave is swallowed up by holidays though!

DH has slightly amended his working hours and he’s now in the house until 1.30pm each day, it does annoy me as he’s in the way 😅 he finds it ridiculous he is not allowed to relax in his own home 🤣

Also, I know your post was about not having a day to yourself at home, but would a day out by yourself without the kids also be a nice break? It sounds as if your DH could take care of them at home while you went out.

I’m really sorry you’re having such a rough time. Toddlers are hard and it’s often the hardest time. I think you were here for a moan, not a problem solving chat so I will just come back to say yes that sounds hard for you and I hope you figure out a way to get some respite soon.

That is gutting OP, easy to say, but it will soon pass.

Sorry you're having a garden time and hope you can enjoy the Christmas holiday somewhat.

I was considering booking him on for a club on Friday 2nd January. Dd could go to nursery then and I’d have a day off. It just kind of feels a bit pointless as DH would be home but working. So I wouldn’t massively enjoy it.

This is all starting to sound a bit "princess and the pea" tbh.
What on earth do you want to do at home that you need your husband to be absent for! 🥺

You seem to be making a rod for your own back here. My DH wouldn't enjoy taking our 4 out from dawn till dusk. Neither would I- the littlest still naps, and while she can nap on the go it makes it a stressful day! However when weather is nice is absolutely do expect him to occasionally pop out between lunch and dinner. And I do the same for him. I love those couple of hours to myself. So dont have a whole day, but have 3 hours occasionally to have a bath and curl up with a film with nobody talking over it. It's glorious.

You ABSOLUTELY should ask your DH to do short trips. It's madness not to, you are training him to be completely incompetent.

Where are the Admins here. Think you should be looking more closely at the responses from the poster and reach out. Be proactive in giving assistance. Does no one actually read any more.

Even once they’ve started school there are six - long - weeks of holiday over the summer. I hear you.

I have a friend with 2 DC. When they were younger they were no problem and family (DGPs or DH) looked after both.
Now that's not possible. The OP may have similar reasons why her DH and her don't enjoy looking after both DC together. Bad things happen.

The children are 2 and 5, what sort of thing are you implying may have happened?

If it'll make you feel any better I have 2 boomerangers back with me.Made me realise how much easier it was when they were small.If you absolutely can't get anyone else to help for a couple of hours , does your little one still.nap? If not put some of her favourite books / quieter toys out and say it's quiet time. Take yourself grab a drink and book.and put your feet up.Mine used to do this and so it was mutual. Me time.xx

Agree, OP needed to vent not be attacked.

The vast majority of the criticism was aimed at the husband to be fair, not the OP.

No one wants their husband being insulted with no basis, especially when OP explained time and time again that she hadn't actually asked him to take both out and that she herself wouldn't do it.

He's been called all sorts, which isn't helpful to hear about someone you love.

Sorry I haven't read everything yet, so may have been mentioned.

So you have 1 DS at school, you work term time and have 1 DC at nursery while you work, and home on 3 days a week. Your DH is only happy taking one at a time on his own?

Could your DH take a days leave on one of your non-working days, when your DS is at school so only has the younger one to look after? Maybe once a term to start with so you at least have 3 days on your own? It isn't much but its a start and hopefully doesn't take up too much of his annual leave. As you don't get time to yourself if you take leave? It would mean persuading him to go on a day out, or book yourself a spa day if he won't!

Did you just scan the OP??

I'm not sure what the problem is. You are fortunate that you can have time with your little one. Don't wish it away, you can never get that time back. Enjoy what little time you have together.

I hear what you're saying, OP. It sounds like you feel like you'd be making it too stressful for him, managing both alone. So you don't get a break. But if neither of you get a break, you both stay stressed all the time, rather than giving each other a bit of a break- time feeling no stress- where you might actually feel quite refreshed after. I do think that in times where taking the children out feels really stressful, it might be easier if he watches the children at home and you go and get your break out of the house, just because it's probably more manageable to care for the children at home- even though it's not quite what you're looking for at the moment it will evolve and things will get easier as they grow.

God I hate these fucking pile ons. Blame the woman for the man's faults, again.

He's a bit useless and pathetic. OP is picking up the slack.

So the suggestion is to what? Change this man fundamentally? Ain't gonna happen. Divorce? Pretty drastic and horrible.

Just to be clear, I was blaming the man for his own faults, not the OP. My aim was just to try and let the OP see that it is not normal for a man to refuse to look after his own children together for a day, especially when their wife is clearly struggling and needs a break. Not to blame her.

I don't understand why your DH couldn't do a different WFH day one every few months while your kids are in childcare?