To feel a bit gutted it will be 2027 before I get the house to myself

[chocolatesprinklesonmylatte]

I work two days a week; these are the days DH wfh.

I have a two year old who goes to nursery on my working days. The rest of the week she’s obviously with me.

I have realised I won’t therefore have the house to myself until 2027, when my two year old starts school!

I don’t know why it’s suddenly hit me! Probably because I saw a day for school aged children advertised on 2nd January. My toddler goes to nursery but I won’t be back until the Monday so I thought I could have a day ‘off’ but if DH is there I’ll just feel I’m in the way.

My husband and I always needed some reset time so we’d take turns taking the kids out for a morning or afternoon a couple weekends a month - whatever we could do around other plans

But if your husband won’t and you won’t and you don’t enjoy relaxing when your husband is working at home and you won’t use extra nursery or holiday clubs then…. Not sure what you can do really.

me and my ex used to do one day each at the weekend taking both out at once , lots of parents do and give the other a break , I thought it was normal for most people to do this.
why not have a chat and see if it can work going forward.
still go with the bed times so you get time together also.
Honestly it’s a lifesaver when they are young.

I totally get the need for having the house to yourself every now and then, it's bliss!

Could he not take the kids to see his family at least occasionally?

I think this is fairly normal with small dc. Mine have a 2 year age gap and when they were 2 and 4, I used all leave on school holidays. They were also hard work together and Dh did take them out but probably not a full day. I think having one child on their own was considered a break!

Well, that is kind of what the title says, in fairness. I know that sounds like I’m being snarky and I’m not, it’s just that I didn’t come on demanding people solved this particular problem for me.

@dollyblue01 i really don’t think either of us would be up for that. I’m honestly not being at all critical, it obviously works well for some. Our children are just lovely apart; together it’s pretty wretched 😂 and I wouldn’t appreciate DH doing it to me!

I literally never have the house to myself and I didn't find it hard sometimes. I work full time and DH works from home everyday anyway. I can't really ask DH to take children on the weekend as he does all wrap around stuff and then works weekends to make it up. I honestly fantasise about having 48 hours alone.

Yes, what is that all about?

When I just had ds, having ds on his own was hard work. Now I have two, one child feels incredibly easy!

I can really sympathise. While there are advantages to working from home I did find it hard over the lockdowns when DH literally never left the house!

You’re also the only person talking about ‘from dawn until dusk’. To be fair most of us are happy with our partners taking the kids out of the way for a few hours while we chill!

I have one day off a month entirely to myself to do what I want. And two weekends a year where I go off and do my own thing whatever that may be. Usually staying out overnight or for two/three nights if I can manage it. I leave all my children to do this, there has never been a day when I’ve regretted it. They are with their Dad who loves them and is capable. When I start getting in need of a break I often get ordered to book something and go away (because I’m getting ratty!) I come back a better person a one everything is good.

Naturally he gets the same courtesy.

I suggest this.

Why do you keep saying ‘you’re the only person’ 😂

Can we not just agree that for a whole host of reasons DH won’t be taking the children out solo for the foreseeable future? I’m saying dawn until dusk because tbh I’m not really fussed about a snatched hour here or there.

Put DS into a holiday club for the two days (or one) that DD is in nursery?

It’s just the one this year, yes. I could do and may do so but DH will still be here so I don’t feel like I can really properly enjoy it.

I said it twice, because you kept replying to me throwing in hyperbole like ‘from dawn to dusk’, and ‘insisting’, and ‘demanding’, as though I was suggesting you do any of those things! Genuinely many of us can just say ‘I’m struggling without having any time to myself, please could you take the children out for a day’ and they would do it, even if it would be hard for them, to help us out. And we’d do the same in return. But you obviously don’t have that sort of relationship so I’ll leave it here. I hope you enjoy your day at home when you finally get one in a few years!

Actually, scrap that. Could you change one of DD’s days in the holidays or use an extra day, and then put ds into a club on that day? A day when your husband is working out of the home!

@GalaxyJam seriously, let’s move on, as I don’t want this to be an argumentative thread you’ve asked; I’ve answered, you don’t like my answer and that’s a shame but it isn’t going to change.

Yes, this.

Does he not take them out at all? To the park? Do an activity with them? I mean... seriously?!

Or could your H temporarily change his WFH days one or two times a year to give you that break?

Not really, they are always Mondays and Fridays which probably align with most people. Very occasionally he’s with a client on a Monday but that is literally two or three times a year and unlikely to be on the school holidays!

Yea, you'd have to be pretty lucky for that to coinside.

Put DS in a holiday club for the day and ask nursery to swap DDs day that week. They're much emptier in the holidays.

I'd not had the house to myself from September 2015 til September 2024 when my youngest start school 😱. Absolutely no childcare and the change to funding meant we didn't have a preschool place for youngest DS, so he went straight into primary school.

We work from home so even though it's been a full year now, I still keenly appreciate those 6 hours of quiet during the day!

What would your "D"H do if, god forbid, anything happened to you?

I mean, I'm sure he'd manage but what should OP do? Play dead?

Well that was kind of my point. He'd have to get on with it. Which he could - and should - do now.