To feel a bit gutted it will be 2027 before I get the house to myself

[chocolatesprinklesonmylatte]

I work two days a week; these are the days DH wfh.

I have a two year old who goes to nursery on my working days. The rest of the week she’s obviously with me.

I have realised I won’t therefore have the house to myself until 2027, when my two year old starts school!

I don’t know why it’s suddenly hit me! Probably because I saw a day for school aged children advertised on 2nd January. My toddler goes to nursery but I won’t be back until the Monday so I thought I could have a day ‘off’ but if DH is there I’ll just feel I’m in the way.

OP, it is hard.
One bit of good parenting advice that made a great impact on my rearing of 4 children was I had zero tolerance for any unkindness towards each other.
Absolutely zero.
No hitting, no unkind words, nothing.
It meant they played well with each other, were kind, and as young adults they are so close to each other.

Be ruthless on this point and it will pay great dividends IMO.

A double buggy is a great thing if you can pick one up.
Especially for husbands that can bring them out for long walks with drinks and snacks in all weather.

I have given the reason - the kids are arseholes together 😂

A double buggy, for a five year old? Really? I’m not trying to sound argumentative but I can’t imagine ds in a buggy.

It is hard and it’s just easier to try to divide and conquer a bit at the moment. I’m sure it will get easier.

No, they are not and even if they are - you are the parents.

I really wish I hadn’t posted. I feel attacked from all sides here, to be honest. I didn’t realise I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with end of term stuff until this thread.

DH isn’t going to be going out with the kids on his own unless it can’t be helped. Same for me. It just isn’t an enjoyable experience for anybody. I don’t get why people can’t just accept that.

If you don't see how highly unusual it is for a father not to take his kids out on his own then no-one can help you.

Amazed your family and friends don't speak to him about it.

Very, very weird.

@SparkleSpriteDust I don’t care whether it’s usual or not. In any case, he does take them out, just generally not together. Weekends are busy and we generally take one child each.

I don’t care if that makes us the biggest bunch of weirdos on MN. Either accept it or stop coming back to tell me my DH is pathetic. Seriously, can we all back the fuck off?

You sound so lovely and full of Christmas goodwill, OP! 😀

I was until I posted on here! 😂

Perhaps your DH could take a day and work in a workspace cafe or some such.

Perhaps your DH could take a day and work in a workspace cafe or some such.

Meh. People (male or female) who work outside the house and live with multiple other people rarely have the house to themselves. Not sure why it is something you would expect.

Good lord, you and DH both sound like such wet blankets. They're 5 and 2. If they're acting like little arseholes do some parenting. Imagine how hard the teenage years will be if they're this awful now.

We’re both useless pieces of shits and everyone would be better without us, especially me.

Probably a bit too late, you are right.
But definitely they are great when children are younger.
They are contained and entertained at the same time.
This time will pass OP.
Mind yourself.

I am an ugly useless piece of shit

Can’t cope with own kids. What the fuck is wrong with you

They still wake up, one does, over and over and nothing seems to work. A decent parent would have sorted this by now

Useless absolutely fucking useless

FUCKING useless

SO NOW WE BAVE ESTABLISHED EVERYONE ELSE WITH A FIVE YEAR OLD AND A TWO YEAR OLD is out there living their best life and if you aren’t you’re a pathetic sack of shit and yes poster earlier in the thread I am well aware I AM THE ONLY ONE SAYING THAT let’s move on.

merry Christmas.

It's not that we are saying you're useless, but honestly you are being unnecessarily martyrish and that's not a good mindset. It's not good for your boys to have such low expectations of them "being arseholes together". Of course it'll be possible to have a good time at the soft play with the pair of them. If you keep resorting to dividing and conquering, they'll never get the hang of playing together nicely.

Just open your mind to the possibility that you can make your situation better and easier now, rather than being a martyr for over a year

You said you can't imagine your husband taking them unless absolutely necessary.

From your replies on this thread, it sounds like you're near the end of your tether. I'd suggest finding a way to make this day alone happen soon, before it's "absolutely necessary" due to you snapping at the kids or completely breaking down.

Honestly, preemptive care is so much better and easier than trying to patch things up once you're completely burnt out.

Your husband can work from a cafe or co-working space maybe, or take the kids out. But you can't continue like this, it's not fun ir fair for anyone.

Then try get some set time for your things in the new year so you feel less stressed and like you are only ever mum

Does your husband want a day at home too? Would the luxury of a day St home not be worth the stress of taking the kids out? Just wondering if a trade-off could work?

Eta - wow, that really escalated while I was typing. Hope you're OK OP, it will get better.

I'm sorry about my previous answer, it wasn't helpful, and just my first instinctive response.

To be honest, I found it quite hard to take my two out together at certain ages. I didn't actually spend much time with them alone at all in fact (and neither did DH). We preferred to spend time with them together at weekends (becuase it was easier) and get our break at work. There were certainly times when I was relieved to go back to work on Monday! We survived that ok, but it sounds as if you have had enough. Is there anyone around who could spend some time with you or DH and the kids and give the other parent a bit of escape time?