To feel a bit gutted it will be 2027 before I get the house to myself

[chocolatesprinklesonmylatte]

I work two days a week; these are the days DH wfh.

I have a two year old who goes to nursery on my working days. The rest of the week she’s obviously with me.

I have realised I won’t therefore have the house to myself until 2027, when my two year old starts school!

I don’t know why it’s suddenly hit me! Probably because I saw a day for school aged children advertised on 2nd January. My toddler goes to nursery but I won’t be back until the Monday so I thought I could have a day ‘off’ but if DH is there I’ll just feel I’m in the way.

😂

Oh and I haven't read all the comments but I'd defo get your partner to pitch in and take them out for some fresh air at the weekends. In summer on weekends and evenings we'd take turns packing up for the day and doing something lowkey and free; my boys would legit play outside at the big communal park for hours a day. I have fond memories of both being the one taking them out, and the one being left at home!

I just cannot imagine the world where one parent cannot cope with two kids
What can a couple of toddlers do that’s so difficult?
I mean, they literally can’t they’re toddlers

And sorry to spam you but it does get easier Each month that goes by they get that little bit more independent and even if they're home with you they get a bit more stamina for doing something by themselves or together. I now honestly so miss the time they were at home with me now, even though it could feel such a slog

Tragic isn't it.

Honestly, yanbu 😭😭

Divorce babe, divorce

They are complete arseholes together. I absolutely hate having them both. Lovely kids apart. I’m also not sure where ‘two toddlers’ is coming from, one is five and definitely not a toddler.

This is what I’m holding out for 😬😬

Honestly I don’t ’dislike’ your answer, it’s your life not mine. I just genuinely think it’s a little bit sad that he wouldn’t do that for you (and vice versa TBH). There are many things about having young children that are hard, but it all feels a lot easier if you have each other’s backs and occasionally do something you may find difficult but that benefits the other parent. Especially as I imagine you do more than 50% of the childcare/housework etc.

I’d say we do have one another’s backs, which if why we don’t make life harder than it needs to be. Everyone is different; different setups, different kids and different pressures.

If your DH works from home Mon and Fri and you are a teacher, why can’t you put the kids in nursery and holiday club for a day midweek when you are off work in the holidays?

I think dawn til dusk may be a big ask but a couple of hours here or there would help surely? My sons dad used to take him to the park or for a walk or to visit someone. Is none of that an option? A lot of us didn’t get the house to ourselves from dawn til dusk while we had little ones.

Also whats the issue with your DH being at home in the day? Is he sat in the kitchen or constantly trying to interact? When I work from home I am shut in my office and pop out for food/drinks/a wee!

It isn’t about ‘ordering him out of the house’ op.

it’s about saying to the person who supposedly loves you (I’ve written supposedly because it blows my mind that he hasn’t offered) ‘hey Tom, I would really like some alone time in my own house. Could you maybe take them to the cinema Saturday morning?’

im afraid op, I find it staggering that people in relationships would live like this, with no respite whatsoever to do something you want for a few hours.

It’s money. @Scarlettpixie . That would amount to well over a hundred pounds.

Half a day then?

I do think so many mothers would be much much happier if divorce was more normalised and affordable, and the children’s father is hands on. You get a proper break fairly often, no skid marks to clean up, children are fine because it’s ‘normal’, all the company you want from friends and find a FWB (not difficult) if you want.

Last year, when they were three and one, I did think divorced mums had it made. I now don’t so I guess it shows things are a bit easier …

He could take them out for brunch. DH use to take our DT’s every Sunday and I had a lovely lie in whilst the house was empty.

Well can't he at least take them out for a half day? It all sounds a bit pathetic on his part. I ask my DH to take our toddler out whilst I stay home, never thought of that being an issue, admit that's 1 kid (and that won't be changing).

I’m sure he could, it’s just I don’t really want to cause a big load of stress for no reason. And it is a big load of stress; I fucking hate it as well; if that makes me pathetic, then pathetic I am!

My kids are the same ages as yours and I also think your dh is pathetic. 5yo is not too old for most soft plays so he can take them both to a soft play for 3 hours and scroll his phone with a coffee. Seriously, what's so hard about that?!

When my two were 4y and 6mo, I grant you, it was tough. 4yo needed a lot of "play with me" attention and 6mo was breastfeeding and crying permanently. But 5yo and 1.5/2y, really not too bad.

Once dc1 is 6yo they're too old to be allowed in many soft plays and so that's not an option any more. He should use them while he still can and man up frankly.

It’s worked for us tbh. But we are ok finances wise which makes it easier. He has stepped up and been a much better father, 2 days full on and 5 days off to get his golf out of the way has been much better for our girls than 7 days of half arsed parenting.

Why can’t dh take them both out for a few hours at the weekend? If they are arseholes together then discipline them

at 2&5 they are capable of listening to dh or you

I get you want some peace /space as life is busy with kids and working /teaching

could dh work in a library /rent a space once a week

my friend feel the same as you. She’s a ta. Dh works from home since covid. He is there the whole bloody time

so her day off. He is there

weekends she has the kids. He isn’t the best at having kids by his self but will under pressure but it’s for an hour or so

you could be her if ages :days were tweaked for privacy as some op’s do

Do you not have annual leave days? I regularly used mine to have a day to myself while my son was in nursery and if I took a whole week off, I'd still keep him in 3 days. It's one of the benefits of nursery for me!

This thread 😂

Discipline them, never thought of that. Thanks; all problems sorted then!

I can’t take annual leave. I’m a teacher and my time off is in school holidays, when ds is also off.

I could book him into a holiday club yes but this would be on a day DH is home anyway.

I will get my days to myself again. But not until dd starts school, which won’t be until 2027. And I will miss her … but it will be amazing to have a bit of time for me again. When I think of it it’s what, eighteen more months?

No, you don't. You are just making excuses for your husband.

You have given no reason why he does not take your children out. So what's the reason? He's lazy?