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Original poster

To think DS is gay and ‘friend’ is BF

156 replies

DenimMaker · 18/12/2025 11:39

My DS, 10, has been friends with this 11 year old boy from his football team since he joined in April.
Since about mid summerish he has been gradually going round to his and him over to ours more often. And when they’re not physically together they’re always on the Xbox playing online. I just assumed it’s his best friend and I was glad he’d made a close friendship.

However on Sunday I looked at the family laptop search history to find something I was on earlier and found searches like “boys kissing” and “guys with abs” and I was stunned. The search time was when his friend was over so they were looking at it together. I haven’t said anything to DS or DH because I don’t want to humiliate him. I want to ask him if he’s gay but at the same time I want him to tell me when he’s ready. I’m not a homophobic person so I don’t mind if he is but it’s still been on my mind all week.

Do I ask him or wait for him to ask me? Do I tell DH?

OP posts:
KilliMonjaro · 19/12/2025 11:21

MissDoubleU · 18/12/2025 20:28

Why do you need to know? Better yet, why do you think it’s any of your bloody business if he’s gay or questioning. He will tell you if and when he feels he should. Get your nose the fuck out his sexuality.

Some young men maybe showed signs early they were gay, some that showed “clear signs” could still be straight and some gay men never showed any “signs” at all. It’s pretty homophobic if you to be looking for signs at all. He’s fucking 10 years old! Get a grip!

Show quote history

Why is it homophobic? I knew I was straight at that age.

Funnywonder · 19/12/2025 11:51

DenimMaker · 18/12/2025 15:54

Quick update: He’s not been looking at porn as we have safe search on all the devices. Boys kissing and having abs is not that explicit so it was not blocked by google.

Quick question: To all of you with gay DSs how could you tell, was it something like this?

You don’t really need to be able to tell. If you have a child who is gay, they will tell you when they’re ready. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by guessing in advance because it really shouldn’t matter. I have to admit, when my son told me he was gay, it did cross my mind that life would be a bit harder for him. Finding love in a much reduced pool of potential partners. Homophobia still very much a problem in our society. That kind of thing. But he is navigating everything just fine.

MissDoubleU · 19/12/2025 15:29

KilliMonjaro · 19/12/2025 11:21

Why is it homophobic? I knew I was straight at that age.

Show quote history

I said it is homophobic to be looking for signs your 10 year old is gay. OP is adamant on having an answer to what is an entirely personal question only this child will know, when they know. And he easily may not. It is homophobic to want to forcibly out this child. It has nothing to do with OP and he will make it her business when he’s ready, if there is anything to tell.

Also. Most people “know” they are straight at 10 because they assume they are. It’s been the social and expected norm forever. Probably why OP is freaking out so much that there could be a chance her son is different. Would OP be in this much of a state if he had searched two girls kissing..? No. I don’t think she would. I don’t think she would be looking for signs he might be straight and what she should do to force him to tell her this. That is also why she is being homophobic.

KilliMonjaro · 21/12/2025 09:25

MissDoubleU · 19/12/2025 15:29

I said it is homophobic to be looking for signs your 10 year old is gay. OP is adamant on having an answer to what is an entirely personal question only this child will know, when they know. And he easily may not. It is homophobic to want to forcibly out this child. It has nothing to do with OP and he will make it her business when he’s ready, if there is anything to tell.

Also. Most people “know” they are straight at 10 because they assume they are. It’s been the social and expected norm forever. Probably why OP is freaking out so much that there could be a chance her son is different. Would OP be in this much of a state if he had searched two girls kissing..? No. I don’t think she would. I don’t think she would be looking for signs he might be straight and what she should do to force him to tell her this. That is also why she is being homophobic.

Show quote history

OP literally said she doesn’t mind if her son is gay. She’s just interested because she loves him. Stop looking for negativity where there is none.

Elsvieta · 21/12/2025 18:52

Do you think there's any chance your husband made those searches? Or does anyone else have access to the computer? The "abs" thing just doesn't sound like a term a 10yo would even know.

alexdgr8 · 22/12/2025 15:58

ElfieOnTheShelfie · 18/12/2025 12:47

yabvu to give your dc unsupervised internet access

And to give the world and all its weirdos unsupervised access to your child . . .

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