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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you think to head teacher saying this

145 replies

EmilyyH9 · 18/12/2025 11:22

I work in a school, as a TA. And over heard a child saying to the head teacher that they’d forgotten her name. And she said to him ‘’but I’m not the most important person here’’ not in a jokey way either. Then she looked over at me in a way like she was looking down at me.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 18/12/2025 18:33

Their payslip probably does validate the notion that they are the most important person in the school but you’ve got to be a grade-A wanker with no self awareness to say that to a small child unironically.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 18/12/2025 18:35

IsItSnowing · 18/12/2025 16:10

Yes, this is how I interpreted it.
The headteacher is saying to the child that it's ok to have forgotten her name because she's not that important in the child's class.
Sounds like a nice thing to say to the child. Making them feel ok about forgetting the name.

Show quote history

No. The OP has updated.
Apparently, the head teacher said "but I'm the most important person here" and the OP has taken this to mean that the HT looks down on her.

It's batshit.

KrimboBell · 18/12/2025 18:39

I think it’s a good job it’s the end of term op - you sound very sensitive . . .

PeopleWatching17 · 18/12/2025 18:52

topcat2014 · 18/12/2025 11:31

Head teacher is Sir or Madam, simples

Or Tony.

PeopleWatching17 · 18/12/2025 18:53

Get over yourself.

meganorks · 18/12/2025 19:02

I would probably assume, unless it was Donald Trump, that they weren't being entirely serious. No matter how deadpan the delivery.

lessglittermoremud · 18/12/2025 19:15

I’m sure it was a ‘tongue in cheek’ comment and not to be taken seriously.
I previously worked within a school setting in a supporting role and I would say 90% of teachers really appreciated the entire team right down to the cleaners.
You will get some people in all walks of life that think that they are the most important in a place and school environments can be quite ‘catty’ due to the amount of females working in a fairly small environment.
If you are unhappy then leave to do something else, I left 2 years ago and haven’t looked back, lots of my friends are either looking for work in different sectors or have left.

Dabralor · 18/12/2025 19:20

Christ. Did you tell all your moany colleagues so you could have a good old chunter about it?

In the kindest way, you need to have a holiday and also get a bit of a grip. TA’ing might not be for you if you are so fragile.

ThomasinaHardy · 18/12/2025 19:23

EmilyyH9 · 18/12/2025 13:15

She said as if to say, how could he have forgot her name. She’s the most important

She is pretty important, wouldn't you say/ Why should she pretend that she isn't?

NotAnotherScarf · 18/12/2025 19:26

It's called humour. When I meet friends of my cousin's (I've got lots of cousins) I always say "now you know where all the charm, sophistication and good looks went in the family". I don't think I am top in those categories

The head teacher was expecting a laugh/smile/amused response from you

jadoreyes · 18/12/2025 19:37

Sounds like a joke. I certainly wouldn't take it as her looking down on you- it's completely unrelated to you.

Oldwmn · 18/12/2025 19:41

EmilyyH9 · 18/12/2025 11:22

I work in a school, as a TA. And over heard a child saying to the head teacher that they’d forgotten her name. And she said to him ‘’but I’m not the most important person here’’ not in a jokey way either. Then she looked over at me in a way like she was looking down at me.

Paranoia

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 18/12/2025 19:51

She was being sarcastic. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, hence there was nothing jokey about the way she said it.

I get it. Some interactions play on your mind and you want a second opinion.

Nothing dodgy happened here.

PollyBell · 18/12/2025 19:54

Going by your standards you must do this to other people yourself, it all seems a bit narcissistic

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2025 20:10

TheCountessAtChristmas · 18/12/2025 11:25

Im unsure what you mean.
Child said to head teacher "ive forgotten your name"
Headteacher said in response "im not the most important person here"

Fair enough HT feels there are other people in school community more important to know... I dont get what your saying?

That's the way I read it and thought it sounded perfectly reasonable.

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2025 20:14

Having read the update I haven't changed my mind. I think she was being humorous in a dead pan way. Most children will know the HT's name although the children in my Reception class, when asked, thought the Caretaker was in charge of the school because he came in to fix things and they hardly ever saw the HT.

Timeforanamechangeagain2 · 18/12/2025 20:16

I think it’s the end of term and you probably need a break.

SlightlyTerrifiedButPolite · 18/12/2025 20:19

I didn’t understand what you meant until you clarified the HT said “but I’m the most important person here”. I actually find that a really strange thing to say to a child too and I get power trip vibes from it, completely unnecessary. Not just power vibes over you but over that child. Is the HT really “the most important”? They’re the most senior and have the most responsibility. But declaring themselves to be “the most important person here” rings off to me. What does that teach a child about the value of people in different levels of hierarchical structures? I think if you’ve ever been subjected to someone who enjoys authority over other people your system is sensitive to it and picks it up. What a weirdo

Purplewarrior · 18/12/2025 20:33

I don’t understand this at all. What does this have to do with HT looking funny at you?

Tattletail · 18/12/2025 20:52

Is her name Miss Trunchbull?

saraclara · 18/12/2025 20:57

TiredofLDN · 18/12/2025 15:45

Just sounds like a dry joke to me?

That.

I'm thinking she looked at you because she knew that another adult would recognise the humour while the child didn't.

You must have worked really hard to take it as a slur.

MMAS · 18/12/2025 21:10

EmilyH9 grow up and join the real world not least because you are a TA and Hey supposed to teach hierarchy for one. What are you looking for here on this forum exactly - a validation to report the Head. Get a hold of yourself because you will be no good to those children you look after if you have no confidence. The Head gave it to you in bucket loads. Up to you whether you choose to take it or spend rest of your life doubting yourself. Given you got this far, then take classes or do something to lift your confidence.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 18/12/2025 21:27

TheCountessAtChristmas · 18/12/2025 11:25

Im unsure what you mean.
Child said to head teacher "ive forgotten your name"
Headteacher said in response "im not the most important person here"

Fair enough HT feels there are other people in school community more important to know... I dont get what your saying?

Agreed, sounds confusing. OK, now see it was corrected.

Rachie1973 · 18/12/2025 21:43

I’d say it was a joke and by looking at you she was including you in the joke.

HeadCreature · 18/12/2025 21:54

It was a joke - I can't believe you think anything else.

How old was the child? In my school they'd mostly find that amusing - and it would be said in a mock horrified manner, with a smile

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