Just been told to remove my pronouns from my Teams profile

[Horrace]

I'm weak 🤣
My manager just phoned me to say there has been some serious complaints made about me that he must urgently address.
I panicked.
In the Pronouns section of my Teams profile, I have

'Take a Wild Guess'

Its been there for a few years. Its finally been noticed and I've been told to take it down because it's made someone or more than one possibly, FEARFUL of me.

I am going to steal that one in case I ever get asked to put my pronouns on my profile. Thank you very much!

Because you said, in answer to the question of what presenting as female means "Really? It means that when I met them, they had female names and it did not occur to me that they would have been born male."

So you seem to be saying that having a female name = presenting as female.

And if they asked you to use she / her, would you do that because that was their wish?

Because it was nothing in the way they looked or came across which made me think otherwise and they had a female name. Okay now? Obviously if a man with a beard calls himself Monica, I am still able to tell he is male.

Of course you're not going to say it, because you know how absurd, reductive, sexist and plain untrue it is. But it's where your mind went and I'd bet anything that it's the truth, which is why you're so antsy, defensive, avoidant and, yes, angry that you're being pushed on it. You still won't tell us what you do mean...

There are very, very few men who really do pass so wonderfully as women in real life that it never would have occurred to you they might be male. So for you to have encountered several of them in close proximity is so unlikely that I highly suspect that you're either really, really unusually bad at sexing other humans, like bottom of the bell curve bad (would explain how you know someone presents as a woman without knowing what that means, I guess), or, more likely, you're not being wholly honest about how well they pass, or why you think they "present as women".

I think we all know that "female name, long hair, makeup etc" is exactly what you mean, and we also all know why you can't say it. Has it occurred to you that you could avoid this brain melting doublethink and resolve the contradiction that gets you so antsy, just by accepting that they are men, they can dress and present as they like, and they may well be lovely people, but they are still men and sometimes that matters?

That answers the question in more detail than your previous answer. I assume by female dress you mean skirts/dresses/blouses/etc? Female voices are presumably a result of surgery or a physical effort on their part to speak differently.

But I'd still like to know what you mean when you say they look female.

Sexual roleplay is what has no place in the workplace .... unless it is a brothel.

Rule number one about kinks is that you only include others if you have their explicit consent. The explicit consent has to be given on an individual level. A manager cannot consent on the employees' behalf.

I recognize that for a lot of women with a trans identity, the identity is a trauma response. However, I am convinced that the majority of men who identify as trans are autogynephiliacs, and that should not be brought into the workplace.

Gosh you are on attack, aren’t you? I am not going to respond to such an aggressive post.

So here you say:

They have female names, female voices, dress and generally look female just like I do.

But elsewhere you say:

Because it was nothing in the way they looked or came across which made me think otherwise and they had a female name.

And you also say a man in a dress isn't a woman (maybe the beard is the determining factor?)

I'm sure you see what a hot mess of contradiction and obfuscation this is. It doesn't need to be this way, you know...

I mean they look female like any of my other colleagues look female and like I look female.

That's very unusual for all the transwomen you work with to completely pass, including vocally. The voice is apparantly one of the hardest things to feminise. They must all have had a lot of money for facial surgeries and vocal coaching. I'm surprised that they all told you they were trans too. You'd think at least a couple of the 100% passing ones would have opted to be stealth.

Will you please tell that to the TRAs?

The post is not aggressive. Only a person who needs an excuse not to address it would claim that it is. And only a person who is badly offended by factual truth would see it as an "attack".

You come across like someone who does not accept that others might see things a bit differently to you. It’s a shame, because you won’t convince others to listen to you and only end up preaching to the converted. I am sure I agree with a lot of what you say, but because I am not 100% aligned, you are on full blown attack mode.

Do you feel it’s appropriate to ridicule people for the God they worship? Surely if they worship a God or God at all abd you are an atheist then their position is so ridiculous that it doesn’t deserve respect therefore ridiculing someone’s religion is fine as they are just exposing themselves to ridicule.

Can't you just have nothing. Does not harm or offend anyone.

This is pure deflection.

Other people are asking the same things, so if you can answer the questions and you're not just trying to change the subject, ignore me and answer one of them.

Very similar to companies and individuals celebrating and congratulating each other on who they fancy (sexually attracted to). Highly inappropriate in the workplace but for some reason, the corporate world are obsessed with it.

I have answered questions and I don’t feel like I need to explain myself to you. I don’t like your way or debating at all. It’s very aggressive and you make a lot of assumptions about posters which don’t fully share your viewpoint. A bit boring so I am off now. I am sure you will see that as having “won” but actually no you are just putting people off listening to your points with your tone. Think about it as presumably you would like to be able to convince people as you feel very strongly about this clearly.

No, you haven't answered any questions ("Really?" "I'm sure you know" aren't answers), but despite there being several other people in the conversation, you appear to want to focus solely on attacking me rather than explaining to us all what you meant by "presenting as a woman", if you didn't mean performative femininity.

You're just using me as a means of deflection.

That doesn't answer the question. Is it physiological characteristics, mannerisms etc? If so, which ones?

Except that nobody is asking anybody to announce their religion. In most workplaces not affiliated to religion, signing off an email with “Yours in Christ” would be considered deeply inappropriate.

I have answered the question. My colleague on same team as me is called Carina. I had no reason to think she was born a man, just like people don’t think I am born a man when they meet me. I don’t understand why this answer is not good enough for you.

There are so many humourless individuals floating around the workplace these days, that you got away with it this long is surprising tbh.

Easiest thing is to say nothing and just do it, and have no pronouns at all. At the end of the day it's not just about humour, it's about not hurting anyone's very fragile feelings and really being basically polite.

I just don't engage with any of this stuff as regardless of what you do or say someone's going to take offence.

I’m not sure people are being asked to display their religion at work are they?
im sure there are rules about that.