Does your DH like how you dress

[Travellingwifey88]

Dh hates the way I dress. Everything i wear he has a comment on. Everything

For context I don't like my figure at the moment and am actively trying to drop.some weight (have lost a stone so far) my clothes usually consist of black trousers, plain t-shirt/top or ocadsusobally jeans and a plain top

I like patterned tops but DH doesn't like flowers in tops so I have stopped wearing them. But then.oans plain t shirts make me look old and funky

When i am in the office I have a few nice work tops. He moans they are boring as well

Today it kicked off as I have a black cardigan I like to wear. My WFH soace ia cold so I need a jumper / cardigan. He hates this cardigan. I wore it. He screamed and shouted

Dd later picked it up (she's 10 but likes to wear this cardigan) she was wearing it when he came down and he bellowed at her to take it off.

Dh wants me to dress like I did when I qas 4 stone later and in my 20's. I'm currently mid 40's and a lot bigger.

I don't think my husband particularly notices or cares what I wear particularly if it's my WFH or casual clothes which sound a lot like yours. In fact i think he might express surprise if I pranced around the house in a pencil skirt or dress and heels unless he knows I'm going out somewhere.

If I'm dressed up he might say "very nice" or something.

The only other time I can remember him expressing an opinion is owing to me having quite "safe" tastes. I usually wear black and i love black with little flower patterns in particular. One day I was showing him a new purchase and he said something like "are you trying to convince people you've got less clothes than you do" and we both laughed because I realised I'd bought stuff that looked near identical to stuff I already had. But that was a gentle/funny dig at my predictable taste, not a criticism.

Dressing up to please men sounds no fun.

"Dh hates the way I dress. Everything i wear he has a comment on. Everything." ....

"He hates this cardigan. I wore it. He screamed and shouted" abusive.

Abusiveto your daughter "she was wearing it when he came down and he bellowed at her to take it off."

Keep the cardigan and get rid of the abusive husband. You deserve better. I bet he's not an adonis himself, but no need for abuse and nastiness.

Who are the 5% of blithering idiots who have voted YABU?

He has absolutely no right to criticise your appearance. He has no right to tell you what he thinks you should or should not wear. He is not the boss of you.

Unless the cardigan was embroidered with swastikas, he is being completely unreasonable.

He can like your cardigans or not like them, but he doesn’t get to scream at you and your children over it.

His taste is questionable so I mostly ignore his opinions on fashion anyway. He suggested skinny jeans and whale tail yesterday.

Why the fuck are you putting up with this? This man is utterly abusive and is bullying you. My DP doesn’t give a shit what I wear, he only comments on it if invited to be me and if he did disparage something I wore I would ignore him.

Do you want your children to grow up thinking this is normal family dynamics and life?

You have a responsibility to your children and that means leaving this bully and protecting them from observing this behaviour.

Are you in a position to leave? Do you work? Do you have supportive friends or family who you could go to be with?

I don't know. I would never ask him if he liked what I wore, it wouldn't occur to me. I guess he could say something but I wouldn't take any notice if he did. Does your other half work in fashion or have any other good reliable experience to base his juvenile criticism on or is he just a massive twat?

He's abusing you and now he's starting on your helpless and vulnerable child, having made her witness his abusing you no doubt. He sounds despicable. Are you going to allow this situation to continue and ruin your DD's childhood and her chances of having normal adult relationships with non-abusive men/people?

My mum stayed with an abuser, it ruined our lives. It sickens me that she had agency over the situation and could have changed things for us, but she chose not to. I do not forgive her, and probably never will. Our children depend on us to look after them and act in their best interests so they don't suffer needlessly. Please seek aid and advice to help you get away from this awful man.

Also, my DH has never criticised what I'm wearing, and says "But you can wear what you like?"

He screamed at you and your child about a cardigan?!

Ita becoming very obvious that there are bigger issues here so thank you for all the responses

I did k ow this but have also assumed that this could be normal behavior

We have barely spoken today. Granted he is on nights and i've been wfh in the office area

He came down at lunch. Complained there wasn't a lot of food in the house and when I explained it because the food delivery was coming later mainly because I had calls and also because he was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him he moaned that i never normally think of that so it was just an excuse because I was too busy with work

Then asked him if he wanted me to do a dinner before he goes to work. He grumbled no you'll mess it up again and that was that

Dunno I wear what I want, if he's got an issue he can buy me something new!

What is the point of maintaining a ‘relationship’ where neither party likes the other?

What you’re describing is sheer misery, @Travellingwifey88.