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Original poster

Does your DH like how you dress

112 replies

Travellingwifey88 · 17/12/2025 19:45

Dh hates the way I dress. Everything i wear he has a comment on. Everything

For context I don't like my figure at the moment and am actively trying to drop.some weight (have lost a stone so far) my clothes usually consist of black trousers, plain t-shirt/top or ocadsusobally jeans and a plain top

I like patterned tops but DH doesn't like flowers in tops so I have stopped wearing them. But then.oans plain t shirts make me look old and funky

When i am in the office I have a few nice work tops. He moans they are boring as well

Today it kicked off as I have a black cardigan I like to wear. My WFH soace ia cold so I need a jumper / cardigan. He hates this cardigan. I wore it. He screamed and shouted

Dd later picked it up (she's 10 but likes to wear this cardigan) she was wearing it when he came down and he bellowed at her to take it off.

Dh wants me to dress like I did when I qas 4 stone later and in my 20's. I'm currently mid 40's and a lot bigger.

OP posts:
ChocolateSqueezyyogurts · 17/12/2025 21:26

My husband would have never have commented on anything I chose to wear and definitely would never have shouted at me for wearing something. Saying that, I did once buy a pair of leopard print shorts and he called me Prince Naseem all day, I didn't wear them again but im sure ive still got them 😳

JustMe2026 · 17/12/2025 21:34

Never had hubby comment other that the odd time how lovely and outfit looks, he would never tell me what to wear etc and I will always tell him what to wear haha 😂

Hankunamatata · 17/12/2025 21:40

Dh has never commented on my appearance for better or worse and tbh one of the reasons I married him
He doesnt care what I wear, or how I have my hair or if I gained or lost weight. He just see's me. It was so refreshing when I met him

Katemax82 · 17/12/2025 21:40

My husband jokes that he hates the loafers that I love in. Also my coat that makes me look like Alf garnets wife. I wear them all the more to annoy him. He would never be abusive about it!

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 17/12/2025 21:55

ChocolateSqueezyyogurts · 17/12/2025 21:26

My husband would have never have commented on anything I chose to wear and definitely would never have shouted at me for wearing something. Saying that, I did once buy a pair of leopard print shorts and he called me Prince Naseem all day, I didn't wear them again but im sure ive still got them 😳

I’m sorry but that’s really tickled me 😂😂😂

cupfinalchaos · 17/12/2025 21:56

How strange. I wouldn’t even ask my dh’s opinion.

greengreengrass3 · 17/12/2025 21:57

He screamed and shouted over a cardigan.. wow
does he have other issues?

FettleOfKish · 17/12/2025 22:06

My DH has things he particularly likes when I wear them and things he’s ambivalent to, but no way on earth would he scream and shout or bellow at me about any item of clothing because he’s not a raving mad man!

Likewise I prefer him in straight blue jeans to the black skinny ones he favours (ex-rock band member, still dresses that way) and I actively dislike his wide skate shoes, but again I’m not an abusive dick so he wears what he likes and feels comfortable in and I look at the man within the clothes, not the clothes themselves.

Lesina · 17/12/2025 22:08

Travellingwifey88 · 17/12/2025 19:45

Dh hates the way I dress. Everything i wear he has a comment on. Everything

For context I don't like my figure at the moment and am actively trying to drop.some weight (have lost a stone so far) my clothes usually consist of black trousers, plain t-shirt/top or ocadsusobally jeans and a plain top

I like patterned tops but DH doesn't like flowers in tops so I have stopped wearing them. But then.oans plain t shirts make me look old and funky

When i am in the office I have a few nice work tops. He moans they are boring as well

Today it kicked off as I have a black cardigan I like to wear. My WFH soace ia cold so I need a jumper / cardigan. He hates this cardigan. I wore it. He screamed and shouted

Dd later picked it up (she's 10 but likes to wear this cardigan) she was wearing it when he came down and he bellowed at her to take it off.

Dh wants me to dress like I did when I qas 4 stone later and in my 20's. I'm currently mid 40's and a lot bigger.

He is a misogynistic twat. Dress how you want. If my spouse made any comment on my clothes, I’d tell him to do one. What an arsehole

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 17/12/2025 22:15

Never asked him, although he's said i look very nice in a few dresses.

Hes a dick. Can you leave him?

JaceLancs · 17/12/2025 22:21

DP very rarely comments on what I wear so have no idea
Occasionally he will say something but always positive eg - that’s a nice dress or you suit that colour
Once in a while I might ask his opinion if we are going somewhere special and I can’t choose between 2 outfits
I would only comment about his clothes in similar circumstances or if there was something he hadn’t noticed such as a mark or hole that he hadn’t seen

EarthAndInstinct · 17/12/2025 22:21

My husband always tells me I know what looks good. He loves my clothes. I wouldn’t mind if he expressed his dislike for something. I do with him, as he’s fairly clueless. And if I was wearing floral tops and cardigans, he might have a point.

But screaming and shouting? No way.

Bestfootforward11 · 18/12/2025 07:48

Screaming and shouting at your wife about a cardigan is not normal behaviour AT ALL. You are an adult and can wear what you like. He sounds controlling and a bully.
You've done a good thing by posting as you are questioning the reality he is feeding you that you are doing everything ‘wrong’. You are not. Adults chose their own clothes and don’t scream and shout if a partner wears something they don’t like. Adults don’t control how other adults take stuff out of an oven and get hysterical when something is dropped.
It sounds like you are walking on eggshells and being made to feel small and incompetent. But you have power. And posting here shows that. A partner should be building you up not tearing you down. You’ve taken a small step here. And now to take other small steps. Is there anyone you can speak to in real life about this? Do you feel physically unsafe? The link below has some info to consider:

https://womensaid.org.uk

Home - Women's Aid

Women's Aid is a grassroots federation working together to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated.

https://womensaid.org.uk

Daisywhatsyouranswer · 18/12/2025 08:01

To be honest, if my husband buys or wears something that looks shit I will tell him it’s not good. Or if we are going out and he dresses poorly. For example going out somewhere dressy last week he put an old rather washed out black shirt that was miles too big for him on and said is this ok, I was like hmmm. Maybe not, try this, so he changed. He is fairly clueless, and tends to the sketcher side of things.

however he does always tell me I look lovely or what I’m wearing is really nice, and I’ve been with him since I was 20, so over 3o years now. The only exception was I bought a new me + em skirt two weeks ago, I love it, tried it on and he went silent and then said I don’t like that. Which threw me.

I then got dressed to go to the black shirt incident event, wore it, then thought maybe not, and changed, and he said, why did you change, you looked lovely in the first outfit, and I said I was second guessing the skirt, thought he didn’t like it, and he raised an eyebrow and said, actually no it looks really nice on. I think he takes in the whole package sort of thing, and when I tried it on, I was wearing an old top that clashed , and really big socks, so I think he kinda looked at the whole thing and thought hmm that doesn’t work. Where as when I put a top on that went with it. His opinion changed.

i can’t imagine a scenario he started screaming and shouting at me as he didn’t like it, and as everyone has guessed there would be much wider marital problems if that was how he behaved over something so minor; and the same applies to me, I may say that’s not a good look, but I’d never scream and shout about it.

Elsvieta · 18/12/2025 13:28

So when he "berates" you, over clothes or whatever else, if you tell him to knock it off and stop bossing you, what happens next? Are you scared of him?

Staringintothevoid616 · 18/12/2025 13:41

Apart from the occasional comment of “do you know how many Iron Maiden t shirts you have?” I’m not sure my husband notices. If we’re going out somewhere and I dress up he will say I look really nice. I think his view is I can dress how I like, some things might be more what he likes me in but he’d never really say

Itsallabouttea · 18/12/2025 13:42

OP this isn't even about clothes. You don't have to live like this, life is far far too short. When you're away from this situation you won't believe what you put up with looking back.

Topseyt123 · 18/12/2025 13:53

Your husband is abusive, to you and your DD. It isn't really about clothes. It is about him being a horrific bully.

He's a controlling twat and you need to leave him. Leave him for your own sake and for DD's. This will be very damaging for her.

Any man who screamed and shouted at me, whether over clothes or anything else, would swiftly find himself an ex.

MissHollyGolightly · 18/12/2025 13:53

I'm sorry you are subjected to this. It's totally unacceptable and reflects something about him not you.

Pineapplewaves · 18/12/2025 13:56

Mine couldn’t care less what I wear unless I come home at lunchtime and put my pyjamas on, DP has a major issue with me and the kids having pyjama days, no idea why!

Vaxtable · 18/12/2025 14:02

As soon as he started screaming I would be walking out of the room

the. In the evening I would point out that his appalling behaviour is uncalled for and off putting. As an adult you have every right to wear what you want and you are not going to be dictated to. If he doesn’t like it, tough

as I would be wearing flowery tops if that’s what I wanted to wear

why are you allowing him to dictate to you so much? It’s abuse

JLou08 · 18/12/2025 14:19

I don't know if my DH likes what I wear. He doesn't comment. Your DH sounds abusive, there should be no bellowing about what you wear. Even if it was something absolutely bonkers he shouldn't be bellowing but a black cardigan is such a simple inoffensive item that it sounds like he is just looking for any reason to berate you.

Hohumdedum · 18/12/2025 14:29

He does generally, but if he doesn't like something he doesn't act like your DH.

My ex used to criticise my clothing a lot and I did change what I wore for him. I was young and stupid and he's an ex for a reason.

MissHollyGolightly · 18/12/2025 14:34

Also, why is he telling your DD what to wear?

PluckyChancer · 18/12/2025 14:45

Why are you with this bullying piece of shit?
You and your daughter deserve so much better.

Please make it your NY’s resolution to kick him out of the house.