Does your DH like how you dress

[Travellingwifey88]

Dh hates the way I dress. Everything i wear he has a comment on. Everything

For context I don't like my figure at the moment and am actively trying to drop.some weight (have lost a stone so far) my clothes usually consist of black trousers, plain t-shirt/top or ocadsusobally jeans and a plain top

I like patterned tops but DH doesn't like flowers in tops so I have stopped wearing them. But then.oans plain t shirts make me look old and funky

When i am in the office I have a few nice work tops. He moans they are boring as well

Today it kicked off as I have a black cardigan I like to wear. My WFH soace ia cold so I need a jumper / cardigan. He hates this cardigan. I wore it. He screamed and shouted

Dd later picked it up (she's 10 but likes to wear this cardigan) she was wearing it when he came down and he bellowed at her to take it off.

Dh wants me to dress like I did when I qas 4 stone later and in my 20's. I'm currently mid 40's and a lot bigger.

Tell him you will be wearing whatever you want with immediate effect and this is coercive control, which is a criminal offence.

Your husband is a controlling maniac. What kind of utter loon screams and shouts at a cardigan?! Your thread title doesn't address the problem you have. The problem isn't whether your husband's taste in clothes aligns with yours. The problem is that a) he thinks he has the right to say what you and your daughter should and shouldn't wear and b) that he thinks it's ok to shout and scream at you and her. What an absolute arsehole.

I don’t know and I don’t care.

I don't think he particularly cares but not in a bad way, he's just not interested in clothes, though if I looked ridiculous he probably would comment

My DH does like what I wear I think, whilst he never makes specific comments on my clothes, he tells me I look lovely. If he didn't? It'd be tough titties I'll wear what I like. Your DH sounds abusive OP, yelling because you or DD wear a cardigan he doesn't like? What a nob.

I can genuinely say that's it's not something I have ever thought about.

But this isn't about clothing. It's way bigger than that.

Your husband is a wanker at best, abusive at worst.

He’s a dick. My husband absolutely hates leopard print - I bloody love it. So I wear it. Simple.

He's abusing you. Call womans Aid for help. You must know his behaviour is abusive and controlling.

Dh compliments me on some clothes, others he passes no comment on. I’m fairly sure he’d like me to dress like a porn star but has enough sense to keep his opinions to himself.

Your dh sounds awful and frankly a bit unhinged. Is he abusive in other ways? Are you safe?

Mine isn't interested in the slightest but he will say I look nice if he thinks so.

What an AH!! Who the fuck shouts at someone for the cardigan they chose to wear?! I’m so sorry you live a life where you don’t immediately understand how abnormal that is :(

Wear whatever the hell you want. Whatever you like, feel good or feel comfortable in.

In response to the actual question, my dp likes the way I look and has a generally positive opinion of my clothing choices. And I probably would feel a little self conscious if he really didn’t like a particular item of clothing. But actually I would be self conscious because he makes no comment on my clothes generally so if he was really against a particular item I would wonder why and think maybe it really wasn’t flattering or something. But if he frequently moaned about my clothing then I would think he was definitely the problem, not my clothes!!

I hope, despite him, you love yourself ❤️ well done on your weight loss. You have value and you matter regardless of your weight, but I’m sure you’re working hard and showing up for yourself and I hope you feel good about that (for you, no one else) 💐

Yes he does but I couldn’t give a fuck if he didn’t. I mostly wear black, vintage band tees, jeans, flares, shorts with tights and mini skirts. I wear a lot of chunky jewellery, chunky platform boots or loafers. I’m very heavily tattooed, he isn’t. We look like an odd couple from the outside I guess but he wouldn’t dream of commenting on anything unless it was a compliment.

How is your home life, @Travellingwifey88?

Does your husband work outside the home? Does he have acknowledged mental health issues or anger management difficulties?

Given that he ill-treats your child as well as you, I would be looking to change your situation. This is no way to live.

This is why I thought too! Does he check what friends you have, when you can see your family etc?

This sounds like the tip of the iceberg. A very abusive iceberg!

This isn’t about the clothes. He’s abusive and controlling to you and your poor daughter. Awful.

Awww this is sad 😢 my husband isn't perfect but he always tells me I look nice when he can see I've made an effort, and always very proudly comments on an accessory I've chosen (positively!). I don't know what he's read that's told him to notice small things and compliment them but it works because I enjoy it.

I don't know how people manage in relationships like this, why be with someone who is regularly mean to you and brings you down about your appearance? Or who screams and shouts, neither of us have ever screamed at eachother about anything.

To add to the masses here, my husband has never screamed and shouted at me. This is not normal nor acceptable behaviour. Does he like the way I dress? Most of the time yes, he has often complimented my outfits. However, when something is not to his taste he probably just wouldn’t comment. If I asked for his opinion he would probably say ‘it’s not my favourite’ as a worst case scenario tbh. If he thinks you would look nice in something, he can always buy you a gift and see if you like it. Otherwise, respectfully, he can shut up. If he continues to scream and shout at you and your children, please plan your exit. I had a dad that screamed and shouted and a mum that didn’t get brave enough to leave until I was in my late teens. Not fun for anyone involved, especially my poor mum.

Thank you for all the replies

I do believe there are bigger problems but I wanted to see if anyone else's DH had issues over a cardigan or if just another thing that DH doesn't seem to like the fact he doesn't have control over

There are other issues as well. Tonight's argument also started after I accidently dropped something when taking it out of the overnight as I was using the oven glove instead of the tea towel he always tells me to use (which then start to get too hot and the tray slipped because he was berating me about something else and it was just an accident)

He mostly compliments what I wear. He hates animal print though and will compare me to Kat Slater when I wear it. But, he knows I’m not offended by it, that it will not make me change my outfit, and that I just roll my eyes at him anyway.

It’s really not normal to scream over a cardigan and he sounds abusive.

He is abusing you and now your daughter. He wants to be in control of you both. My DH has never commented on my clothes, unless to tell me I look nice etc, and I'm the same with him. I wear comfy stuff at home, in the winter socks are tucked into joggers and just random baggy sweatshirts as I like to be warm and comfortable.

I don't know... Sometimes he says something looks really nice.
I don't ask his opinion, actually.
This man seems deranged. Would like to see what he looks like.

This. This is about your weight and your looks. As you said he wants you to look and dress like you were in your twenties. The fact that he screams at you about it is very concerning to put it mildly.

Please leave. Your husband is screaming and shouting at you and bellowing at your daughter. Is this the life you really want? Again, please leave, I did. You have to be brave and make a decision for a happy life or an unhappy life. Do it for your child.
and tell the twat that his clothes are all shit.

Yes, even when I was six stone heavier he was very complimentary.

did he really scream and shout, he sound like a really odd little man,

This