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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be disgusted by murder-suicide reporting?

159 replies

FuckOffWithYourEllipses · 17/12/2025 17:11

Same old story. Elderly man struggling to cope with caring for his ill wife. Violently murders her - battery and strangulation in this case - then kills himself. And the media report it as a mercy killing.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15392635/Retired-salesman-dead-ill-wife-800k-seaside-home-Huntingdons-mercy-killing-suicide.html#

Nothing in the article indicates that this poor woman wanted her husband to end her life.

There is no mention of her being in unbearable pain, of saying she’d had enough, or anything like that. It just says HE was struggling to cope and that her behaviour was difficult.

I totally get that the situation would have been hell on earth for them both. And I get that he would have felt overwhelmed and despairing. But surely that doesn’t mean it’s somehow an act of mercy for him to violently murder her??

All the comments are going on about how sad it is for them both, how sad that he felt forced to kill her, how terrible it must have been for him and so on.

I just find it upsetting how he’s automatically given empathy and the benefit of the doubt even though he murdered his wife in the most violent and terrifying way.

Salesman found dead alongside his 'ill' wife in 'mercy killing'

The bodies of Heather and Michael Newton were found at their £800,000 home near Poole Harbour, Dorset, on New Year's Eve last year.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15392635/Retired-salesman-dead-ill-wife-800k-seaside-home-Huntingdons-mercy-killing-suicide.html#

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 17/12/2025 17:13

Yanbu at all.

Gloriia · 17/12/2025 17:15

Totally agree. It's only a mercy killing if there was some indication she consented, otherwise it's a violent man murdering his poor defenceless wife. Blunt force injury doesn't sound very merciful to me.

Original poster
FuckOffWithYourEllipses · 17/12/2025 17:32

I’m glad it’s not just me. And I don’t get how most people don’t seem to see it.

OP posts:
Lougle · 17/12/2025 17:38

"He concluded Mrs Newton died as a consequence of unlawful killing and Mr Newton by suicide stating: 'after inflicting fatal injuries on his wife he took his own life by means of ligature suspension'."

The coroner saw it. Unlawful killing. The press will say whatever gets headlines, and the 'mercy killing' is in inverted commas, which means that it's not established as the 'truth' of the matter.

HoneyParsnipSoup · 17/12/2025 17:39

YANBU, it’s like ‘crime of passion’ when a man kills his ex

333FionaG · 17/12/2025 17:41

The poor woman, what an awful way to die. A mercy killing would be for her to die in her sleep after a concoction of sleeping tablets washed down with alcohol, surely? Not dying as a result of blunt force trauma.

stressedstressed · 17/12/2025 17:43

I’m not sure.

It seems as though he had loved her through thick and thin for many decades.

You say you get that the situation was hell on earth, but, do you really?

I can see how this was a reasonable course of action from his perspective. He didn’t do it to free himself - he also killed himself. And brutally so as well, via hanging. He could have just killed himself, but he chose to kill her first so that she didn’t continue to live in a terrible state

this does overall really point towards a mercy killing. Perhaps it would have been less brutal via carbon monoxide, but it seems to me that he did everything in his power for her and got desperate.

I think we need to get assisted dying sorted. We wouldn’t allow a dog to suffer like this.

Boomer55 · 17/12/2025 17:43

No one knows the full situation or circumstances.

Maddyisqueen · 17/12/2025 17:44

I wonder if he lost his temper and killed her without pre meditation and then decided he had to kill himself

like you say you would hope to choose a nice cocktail - but knot sure they exist anymore

Maddyisqueen · 17/12/2025 17:45

Boomer55 · 17/12/2025 17:43

No one knows the full situation or circumstances.

I have to say I wanted to say I have friends family in this situation and it’s heartbreaking - the help that’s needed for the partner caring does not exist - carers are so left to fend for themselves albeit they don’t want spend their kids inheritance on care as they don’t see the value the same
as we might

I was scared to post it!

Toucanfusingforme · 17/12/2025 18:07

It can be very easy to judge other people’s lives when you are not living their life. Unless you have experienced the same situation, you are in no position to condemn. Maybe you should maybe just be grateful, and hope that you are never in a situation where you feel so desperate that murder /suicide seems like a good solution.

Original poster
FuckOffWithYourEllipses · 17/12/2025 18:10

Perhaps it would have been less brutal via carbon monoxide, but it seems to me that he did everything in his power for her and got desperate.

He could have put her in a nursing home or even just left. If she genuinely wanted to end her life, they could have travelled to Dignitas. The DM helpfully notes the value of their house (🙄) and going by that, they could have afforded those options or to get private carers in.

Yes, carbon monoxide would be far less brutal than strangling and beating her to death. So would suffocation with a pillow while she was sleeping. Or maybe an overdose of medication 🤷‍♀️ The extreme violence he chose doesn’t read as compassionate.

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckOffWithYourEllipses · 17/12/2025 18:14

Maddyisqueen · 17/12/2025 17:44

I wonder if he lost his temper and killed her without pre meditation and then decided he had to kill himself

like you say you would hope to choose a nice cocktail - but knot sure they exist anymore

That seems likely, given the stuff in the article about him being stressed out by her behaviour. And no joint suicide note, and no reference to her wanting to end her life at all 😬

OP posts:
user1492538376 · 17/12/2025 18:14

Do you know what ‘inverted commas’ mean ? They are used the article you refer to.

Adeline767 · 17/12/2025 18:15

So very sad whatever the reasons were.

PandoraSocks · 17/12/2025 18:19

If it was a mercy killing, he could have helped her take an overdose.

@Maddyisqueen is right that carers are all too often left to fend for themselves, but there are millions of carers who don't end up violently murdering the person they care for.

PandoraSocks · 17/12/2025 18:23

stressedstressed · 17/12/2025 17:43

I’m not sure.

It seems as though he had loved her through thick and thin for many decades.

You say you get that the situation was hell on earth, but, do you really?

I can see how this was a reasonable course of action from his perspective. He didn’t do it to free himself - he also killed himself. And brutally so as well, via hanging. He could have just killed himself, but he chose to kill her first so that she didn’t continue to live in a terrible state

this does overall really point towards a mercy killing. Perhaps it would have been less brutal via carbon monoxide, but it seems to me that he did everything in his power for her and got desperate.

I think we need to get assisted dying sorted. We wouldn’t allow a dog to suffer like this.

he chose to kill her first so that she didn’t continue to live in a terrible state

It was not up to him to decide that.

kerstina · 17/12/2025 18:37

I think he must have been a desperate man. I thought she may have had dementia when I read the headline but this disease sounds similar. Sad story all round.

Halloweeeeeeeeen · 17/12/2025 18:39

I had this feeling with the elderly couple who jumped off the cliff, it was all reported as being a lovely, heartbreaking story that they couldn’t live without each other. How do we know that she wasn’t coerced!

Funnywonder · 17/12/2025 18:43

Toucanfusingforme · 17/12/2025 18:07

It can be very easy to judge other people’s lives when you are not living their life. Unless you have experienced the same situation, you are in no position to condemn. Maybe you should maybe just be grateful, and hope that you are never in a situation where you feel so desperate that murder /suicide seems like a good solution.

I agree with this. Being a carer to someone with a degenerative condition is absolutely horrendous. Of course the vast majority of people wouldn’t be driven to murder but I can certainly see, without condoning it, how someone could be driven to despair. Clearly I don’t know if this is the case here, but neither does anyone know for certain that this wasn’t what happened. Taking care of someone isn’t always about bed baths, cosy chats and cups of tea. It can suck the very life out of you. Once again, I’m certainly not saying I agree with what he did, but I can see why it might happen in certain circumstances. The coroner did not describe it as a mercy killing. That was the Daily Mail being the Daily Mail.

Gloriia · 17/12/2025 18:44

'Yes, carbon monoxide would be far less brutal than strangling and beating her to death'

Yes. He lost it didn't he, maybe regretted it and killed himself too. Mercy killing is an appalling way to describe someone who was bludgeoned and strangled.

Beedeeoh · 17/12/2025 18:48

I don't know, to me it's similar to the Olga Freeman or Tania Clarence cases. It can be very awful and wrong yet understandable at the same time. Anyone who has been a full time carer will know how it can be utterly despairing. Huntingdon's is particularly dreadful.

Ladamesansmerci · 17/12/2025 18:49

She had Huntington's. It is a horrific disease. She will have had significant behavioural challenges. People usually end up in very specialised placements. When it progresses, you will lose your ability to eat, walk, and communicate.

Given how difficult it is to get things like funding and social care support, I suspect this man simply snapped after years of burnout and carer's fatigue. I actually do have a lot of empathy in this situation.

Notmyreality · 17/12/2025 18:52

You keep saying there is no indication she wanted to end her life. Equally there was indication she wanted to continue living either. You simply don’t know either way. You have the bare minimum of details.
All we know is their lives were hell and they are both better off where they are now.
And as for “they could have gone to Dignitas” give me a break. If I’m ever in that situation I’ll be telling DH to whack me with a hammer as well.

Youdontseehow · 17/12/2025 18:56

Notmyreality · 17/12/2025 18:52

You keep saying there is no indication she wanted to end her life. Equally there was indication she wanted to continue living either. You simply don’t know either way. You have the bare minimum of details.
All we know is their lives were hell and they are both better off where they are now.
And as for “they could have gone to Dignitas” give me a break. If I’m ever in that situation I’ll be telling DH to whack me with a hammer as well.

This.
I’m not sure why people think overdosing/poisoning or suffocating someone are somehow “gentler” or more compassionate. Slow multi organ failure or fighting for a breath are not more “humane”.

being knocked unconscious and then dying by strangulation is probably a less stressful way of dying than others suggested.,