To be disgusted by murder-suicide reporting?

[FuckOffWithYourEllipses]

Same old story. Elderly man struggling to cope with caring for his ill wife. Violently murders her - battery and strangulation in this case - then kills himself. And the media report it as a mercy killing.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15392635/Retired-salesman-dead-ill-wife-800k-seaside-home-Huntingdons-mercy-killing-suicide.html#

Nothing in the article indicates that this poor woman wanted her husband to end her life.

There is no mention of her being in unbearable pain, of saying she’d had enough, or anything like that. It just says HE was struggling to cope and that her behaviour was difficult.

I totally get that the situation would have been hell on earth for them both. And I get that he would have felt overwhelmed and despairing. But surely that doesn’t mean it’s somehow an act of mercy for him to violently murder her??

All the comments are going on about how sad it is for them both, how sad that he felt forced to kill her, how terrible it must have been for him and so on.

I just find it upsetting how he’s automatically given empathy and the benefit of the doubt even though he murdered his wife in the most violent and terrifying way.

agree - don’t want higher taxes but also don’t want immigration at same time! Can’t have both….not enough money to pay skilled carers so immigrants or unskilled people do those carer roles (often badly - not their fault)

Would Dignitas even take someone in her condition who couldn't give informed consent?

They need informed consent and that you are terminal and will die in next 6 months I think

she’d have to get there on her own steam -
not possible

thats why it’s so difficult if you become incapacitated and need someone to take you - they can’t

ester rantzen is going to travel alone so her children are not charged - so sad

No, and in any case it takes months to arrange the process with Dignitas so that isn’t much help for a carer in crisis.

Unless you have cared for an elderly person and had to see their deterioration,
no one has the right to judge and condemn.
the care of the elderly is appalling and I for one. Would happily end my life if I was of 70+ As I know it will not get better or quality would improve .
It’s horrendous the lack of care for the elderly in the uk and it will come to us all .

I’m not sure where you are getting the idea that a killer taking their own life afterwards suggests a mercy killing. I mean plenty of mass shooters kill themselves. Family annihalators too.

Have you cared for someone with Huntington’s? With dementia? With other incurable, progressive diseases? Later in life…. People get to the end of their tether and the medical and social care system doesn’t listen, is hard to navigate and often family members (usually the children) are more concerned about inheriting than their parent’s wellbeing. I’m dealing with 3 cases at the moment and if one of these carers killed their own spouse I would not be surprised. So sad but despite trying to advocate for them it’s like hitting your head against a brick wall.

YABU

I am not commenting on the ins and outs of what he did and why - but OP, I agree that the way that men killing women is reported is deeply disturbing and the implication that it was justified in some way is still way too common.

Yes, that's a really important layer to it. The care sector would be absolutely screwed without immigration but we're seeing more and more racism with the rise of Reform.

Murder-suicide is so commonplace that I’m sorry to say that when I heard that Rob and Michele Reiner were found dead together, I assumed it was yet another instance.

I agree with you OP. He violently murdered her. That's not a mercy killing. Ever.

Its possible to understand that someone can reach the end of their rope and also understand that it's still cold blooded murder.

If I was in her situation, I wouldn’t want my long term partner to leave me on my own.

I think there would be a sizeable market for it @grumpygrape

Yes it’s quite a lot of money - you could put on cc maybe..few thousand

Strangely enough, I looked it up yesterday. 11k Swiss francs which is over £10k

Agree. My dad is caring for my mum who has Alzheimer’s and the support my dad gets, with exception of myself and sister, is zero. Unless you see it first hand, caring for a loved one with a terminal illness is very hard physically and mentally is horrendous not to mention the isolation and the despair seeing the women he has loved for 60 plus years end her life like this. This guy saw no other way out.

Yabu. I dont know the ins and outs of this case but I have sympathy for those who choose this route when faced with horrendous illnesses. He could have put her in a home, but perhaps he felt this was the better option, he lost his life too. It is hard to know what they had discussed previously in their 40 years together. Seems a bit pointless to look further into it when he took his life as well.

Mixed feelings really, unless you've been a full time carer for someone who is only going to deteriorate further its hard to understand how soul destroying and awful it is. It’s not for the faint hearted.
This is what we get with our improved health care, years ago we got old, and ill and died promptly, now we get old, ill, and live on for decades - at the expense of the life of the spouse or child (usually a daughter!)

I really hope we end up with a Swiss style Pegasos type clinic here, where you just need to be of sound mind and not the terminal illness 6mth to live restriction - I’d want to check out the minute I had a suspicion of dementia or similar awful old age diseases. No way do I want my kids, (or DH)sacrificing their life for mine.

I believe she wasnt. A double suicide isn't unheard of.
Seems she didnt want to go on without him. Perfectly possible.