Inheritance

[Flowergirl2]

A fairly long story…..
DH’s relative died last year (she had no children). DH has one sibling.

We have 2 children together (15&16) and he has 3 grown children too from previous relationship.

Deceased relative split inheritance equally between DH, DSIL and DH’s 3 grown up
children. Around 100k each. Nothing left to our DC.

I find this odd and hurtful that they have been left out with no obvious explanation. We will give ours to our DC but it’s the fairness and what this implies that hurts rather than the money.

Am I right to feel hurt and question why this has happened. There seemed no issue at all when she was alive.

DH grown up children will not share theirs with their half siblings (our DC). I feel none of this is fair on our DC.

Maybe she never got around to updating her will in the last 16 years?

Also very unreasonable for you to expect or even ask DH grown up children to share!

The will was made in the past couple of years

Hm, thats is bizarre and I cant blame you for wondering why.

Agree it was a bit odd. Would have been a big ask of siblings though to give half away. Disappointing but what can you do..

Is it possible the will was made before your children were born, and she never updated it?

Maybe she thinks that your husband’s older children may end up not inheriting from him, obviously a long time in the future? It’s not uncommon for this to happen when men don’t sort out their wills properly when they have a second family, and it all goes to the wife (stepmother), who then leaves it to her own children.

We will give ours to our DC
This is an odd thing to say - you haven’t inherited anything, your DH has. Did he suggest giving his inheritance to your DC first? If you are in a financial position to hand over £100k, then you must be fairly well off.

It was her estate & her decision, you don’t have to like it. Will you & DH be divvying up your estate 4 ways?

The whole business of second familys can be messy. She was probably loyal to the first set, and that was that.

Wills dont need to be fair..

And tbh depends on a lot of factors. When was the will written? Was deceased closer to the elder children?

If your dh dies before you OP, and has a significant amount of money in his account, would you give a share to your dsc, or would you just keep it all?

It's ridiculous to be annoyed at a dead person because they decided what they wanted to do with their money!

Agree with PP she wanted to make sure that the DC from the 1st marriage inherited as your DH will leave his estate to you which you won’t then share with them and it will go to your DC alone. Which you have kind of proved here.

I personally believe that the deceased did it for a reason. That reason, you may never know. It was her/his money and not an automatic entitlement to your children, I’m sorry to say. Sometimes death is the best way to quietly tell family members that they didn’t mean that much and I do apologise and make no insinuations against your kids but clearly the others meant more for whatever reason.

This is true.
It may well need that she preferred the older kids.. or liked their mum more than the OP.

Who knows.

Or, it could be that she thought the older ones wouldn't inherit much from dad, because the OP would push for her DC to get more.

Yes I don’t think you will ever have an explanation. It was the wishes of the deceased and although it may seem unfair, it was their will and their right to pass on what they deemed rightful. It doesn’t make up for the fact that other potential heirs possibly lost out but the will maker has the last say and it may be disappointing as a parent but I would not make a big deal out of it.

Frankly, it's not your money, though you describe it as "our share" and not your business. Leave it to your DH to worry the un/fairness.

Maybe the will hadn’t been updated since your two were born?

OP says that it was updated no more than 3 years ago, and their joint children are now teenagers.

I thought the same. The Will was written prior to your kids being born.

Just read that you thought the will was updated a few years ago. Maybe she didn’t read it through properly or assumed she’d included all grandchildren.

Did the will name the older children by name, or just said dh’s children/grandchikdten? If the latter, they may be entitled to receive something.

Blood thicker than water situation here. You'll always have these situations with blended families.

SIL should be pissed as she's out a few hundred K all because her brother has kids!

No it wasn’t.

All the kids are the same level of “blood” to the aunt.