Not replacing the lost items we weren’t told were expensive

[Robinisrosie]

Yesterday I provided some babysitting for my nephews children. His daughters are 2 and 4 and they had a family funeral to attend but didn’t feel comfortable taking the children. I was more than happy to babysit. The 4 year olds school is already broken up for Christmas and the 2 year old doesn’t normally do nursery on a Monday.

We had a lovely day, all was well and when my nephew picked them up he asked where the youngest’s hat and scarf had gone. I couldn’t find them immediately and realised we may have either left them at soft play or in a cafe. He said it was fine, I offered to call the soft play and cafe today to see if they had been handed in.

I called both today and the soft play said they couldn’t be sure and we would have to go and check. I am working this week so I can’t but I told him the soft play etc. and suggested if they are important they can check in, otherwise I’ll go at the weekend. I’ve now received messages stating that they were expensive designer items and while they don’t mind if they are lost they would have appreciated me doing a better job at looking after the items. I’ve now spoken to my sister and she has informed me that the hat alone cost 3 figures and was from Burberry! Who the heck spends that on a hat for a 2 year old?
I appreciate wealth wise we are on very different levels, my nephew and his wife are incredibly well off and she comes from an incredibly well to do family, but surely if you are sending an item worth that much you might want to mention it?
My sister thinks I should pay to replace it but I think that’s bonkers! I’ll happily buy a replacement at a normal price if it isn’t there when I go to check at the weekend but I cannot believe they actually expect me to cough up over £200 for a hat and scarf for a 2 year old!

AIBU?

To be fair he hasn’t suggested that you replace it.
He said that it was ok, thanked you, and said it would have been good not to lose it. I don’t think that’s particularly unreasonable tbh.
Yes, would have been good not to loose the kids items obviously (even had they been cheap). He isn’t asking you for anything. That’s all there is to it.
Hopefully they’ll turn up at the soft play lost & found.

It was really warm yesterday everywhere in the country!

You did them a favour, Burberry is a bit naff these days.

Yes, this really is the response from the poster whose reply to the OP was "Doormat is your middle name [....] No need to post anything then, just kowtow to them until you find your backbone."

This is perfect!

Wait until they leave something behind.... We have all done it so they have a long road ahead

Same

I've often found that wealthy / well off (however you want to phrase it) are the most miserable, petty, money grubbing arseholes you'll ever have the misfortune to meet. This is a prime example. Tell them to go and fuck themselves.

There's this mall near my place that flogs stuff like that. The prices are beyond surreal.

I wish like hell that I would replace the items. Tell them to suck on an egg!

They should have sewn an elastic chinstrap onto it 😂

My parents lose my kids stuff ALL the time, even more than the bloody kids! It happens so often that I now only send cheap things or ones I'm not fussed if they get lost if my parents have them. But I'd never expect them to pay for things - especially if they're doing me a massive favour babysitting!
What kind of idiot sends a toddler out in a £200 hat?? Ridiculous. Toddlers lose things, parents lose things, sometimes hats just fall off or the toddler takes it off without the parent noticing!
I would absolutely not be paying for the hat and just suggest they buy a normal priced one next time...

I can see this from both sides.

I would never spend that much money on clothing for my child, they grow up far too quickly and we've had a few hats/gloves 'go missing' at nursery so it's Vinted all the way (much easier to accept losing a BNWT John Lewis hat you scored for £2.50 than gulp a £200 designer one). I would also worry that anything designer that isn't worn at all times (e.g. coat, hat, gloves) could easily be stolen - which is perhaps what has happened here.

But equally, even if you are providing 'free childcare,' you should still do your best to ensure that the children in your care have their belongings with them, so I can see why the parents would be annoyed that you left them behind.

For all the posters saying you should refuse to babysit again, it's entirely possible that the parents might not ask you again.

Why weren’t you looking after the items? Whilst I agree that these items are too expensive for a toddler, I can understand how frustrating this must be for the parents. How would you feel if it was you and someone lost an item that you considered expensive?

It’s their choice how they dress their own kids.
Looking after kids means looking after their stuff Irrespective of how much they are worth.

Have you ever met a 2 year old?

Frustrated yes
even remotely thinking about mentioning it?, no….

Id buy the kiddo a lovely (but very inexpensive) replacement from somewhere like Primark. And an apology about loosing the origonals. If those two gestures were rebuffed I would reply that in future your babysitting services will be £100 per hour etc.

To be honest I see both sides to this, because as the babysitter you should have aimed to return the kids with the same things they left with. If you didn’t notice missing clothing, there might be other aspects you weren’t focusing on too whilst they were in your care. I mean, as an adult I always take a quick look before leaving a table or transport etc to ensure I haven’t left anything. Yeah little kids aren’t going to be fussed about keeping a hat and scarf on the entire time but that’s why they need an adult looking out for them.

I don’t think you’re necessarily liable for the cost but I think this is one of those issues that can crop up with doing favours for family. If you don’t, there likely will be some resentment there and it probably already has impacted your relationship with that side of the family even if you’re not legally liable for the cost.

Children's clothing are essentially disposable items - they get ruined by poo explosions or by rough and tumble play, they get lost and they get grown out of. It's totally bonkers to spend £200 on any item for a young child. Yanbu - if you'd known that any item was that valuable you'd have left it at their home surely, not taken it out where it could get lost, stolen or damaged. You don't owe them anything. If they go on at you about this then don't babysit for them ever again.

What in the hivemind of total lack of reading comprehension is going on here. This whole thread is so bizarre

Tonnes of posts with people baying for blood and enraged at some strangers who never said anything to OP so their only offence is.. purchasing a burberry coat??

I agree with your nephew. I don’t think you should pay but I’d be annoyed they were lost going to/ from the soft play. He’s not asked you to pay though so I’d just apologise.

Have you not lost your own DCs items before? We've managed to lose a scooter at the park as we forgot one DC had ridden it, dropped gloves from pocket (individually each time!), and a hoody last summer. It's easy to forget things occasionally even as a parent, and I'd imagine even harder when its not your own DC so youre focusing on watching them more with it not being as natural to be out with young DC, and also not being familiar with their items.

Then like the OPs relatives you should look after your own kids.

You can be rich but cheap