Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog has me at my wits end.

119 replies

Badhuman · 15/12/2025 14:43

Our dog has been to vets, behavioural trainer and we have followed lots of other advice. She gets 2 big walks a day. Morning 2 miles and early evening 1.5 miles. She is a Cavapoo and 8 years old.

I’m at my wits end. She is a quite a nice dog but the destruction and attention seeking is killing me and I absolutely resent her now. I can’t have anyone in the house during the day without her barking forever. I can’t leave her without her barking forever. She has to be with me the whole time. We’ve tried anxiety medicine - no difference in behaviour. Behaviour has always been not great.

My kids adore her. What the hell do I do. WIBU to rehome her.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 15/12/2025 15:18

Maybe she could "run away"?

PInkyStarfish · 15/12/2025 15:22

I can’t stand these dogs. I have met so many that are exactly as you describe.

I would usually side with keeping the dog if it were another bred, one that might calm down and behave with the correct training but these are one of the worst mixed breeds and I’ve met people who have spent a small fortune on behaviourists and the dog is still bloody awful.

Will the breeder have her back?

Summerlilly · 15/12/2025 15:24

Have they tried upping the medication?

My dog has bad anxiety and we have regular medication reviews.
I recall it can take awhile to find the correct dosage/ brand of medication that works for your dog.

Muffsies · 15/12/2025 15:24

This is a nightmare situation. Are there any animal rescue charities that can give you advice or help you rehome her?

SpanielsGalore · 15/12/2025 15:25

What advice did the behaviourist give?
Is she only destructive when left alone?

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 15/12/2025 15:26

Plug in and doggy calming music on YouTube on the TV when we went out helped us...

StabbyCat · 15/12/2025 15:26

What has the behaviourist recommended?

PodMom · 15/12/2025 15:30

Have you gone back to basics of being on the sofa and getting up and then sitting down, repeat, repeat, repeat.

When she doesn't react to that take a couple of steps to the door then sit back down. When she doesn't react to that then leave the room and return, repeat, repeat, repeat until she's no longer following you.

Spend longer out the room and return. You build up to getting to the front door and leaving and coming straight back in. Then spend a few minutes outside, 5 mins, 10 mins, 20 mins, 30 mins.

Is she crate trained? Have you had her since a puppy?

Sherwil16 · 15/12/2025 15:30

Call in Graham from tv - Dogs behaving very badly. . He has magic solutions, almost always behavioural.

Bigtreeesss · 15/12/2025 15:30

Badhuman · 15/12/2025 14:43

Our dog has been to vets, behavioural trainer and we have followed lots of other advice. She gets 2 big walks a day. Morning 2 miles and early evening 1.5 miles. She is a Cavapoo and 8 years old.

I’m at my wits end. She is a quite a nice dog but the destruction and attention seeking is killing me and I absolutely resent her now. I can’t have anyone in the house during the day without her barking forever. I can’t leave her without her barking forever. She has to be with me the whole time. We’ve tried anxiety medicine - no difference in behaviour. Behaviour has always been not great.

My kids adore her. What the hell do I do. WIBU to rehome her.

if she’s behaved like this for 8 years it’s going to take a longtime to undo

your options are find a trainer who can help you work on changing the behaviour because it can be fixed but it will be hard work.

To add walking just builds fitness, there’s lots you can do to tire them out without leaving the house, crate training could also help here

or rehome equally hard

PodMom · 15/12/2025 15:31

Sherwil16 · 15/12/2025 15:30

Call in Graham from tv - Dogs behaving very badly. . He has magic solutions, almost always behavioural.

Rumour is he knows nothing and calls a local behaviourist for advice off camera and gets them round and then repeats what they've said. So his advice will only be as good as that person. I admit I have only seen clips so not sure how good his advice is.

Serenity45 · 15/12/2025 15:32

Have you had her from a puppy OP as you mention that she's 8 years old? I'm wondering if she's a more recent rescue, though it's not clear from your description.

I'm not an expert (though do own an active labrador), but one thing that jumped out at me is you taking her for morning and early evening walks. Does she get any opportunity to go out / exercise in the middle of the day? Do you do regular training / enrichment activities to keep her mind occupied? How long does she tend to be left for and has this always been an issue or something more recent?

You might want to ask for your post to be moved to the doghouse board over on the pet forum as there are some very knowledgeable / experienced people who can give you far better advice than me.

PodMom · 15/12/2025 15:33

You could also do stuff like scent work and puzzle games to try and tire her out mentally. But I agree this won't be a quick fix at all. Will need months of consistent work. Are you home in the day or do you work out the home? How long is she left for? Poodles are known for separation anxiety sadly.

sixswans · 15/12/2025 15:53

She needs to be with another dog

TheatricalLife · 15/12/2025 15:53

PInkyStarfish · 15/12/2025 15:22

I can’t stand these dogs. I have met so many that are exactly as you describe.

I would usually side with keeping the dog if it were another bred, one that might calm down and behave with the correct training but these are one of the worst mixed breeds and I’ve met people who have spent a small fortune on behaviourists and the dog is still bloody awful.

Will the breeder have her back?

I've never met a "Cavapoo" that isn't slightly mental (and I meet and have worked with a lot of dogs). A mix of two highly intelligent, high energy breeds, they are prone to separation anxiety and attention seeking behaviour, and can be very destructive if they are unhappy. Literally every problem you've listed is a common issue with the breed mix. Ask any vet.
They need to use their brain all the time or they need to be absolutely knackered. Are the walks you do including any off lead running, ball or scent work? Or just walking on a lead?
As you've said, you have sought lots of advice from professionals, so MN probably can't add much more than they've given you. It would he a hard rehome at 8 years old and with the issues you've got with her. I don't think I could do it personally, but I wouldn't judge you. Just please don't shove her on Gumtree or Facebook (I'm sure you won't). There are few Poo mix charities about that can point you in the right direction if you choose to rehome.

Iamnicehonest · 15/12/2025 15:55

Just rehome her, thats what you want to do.

She'll be happier with someone who actually wants her.

icouldholditwithacobweb · 15/12/2025 15:59

Summerlilly · 15/12/2025 15:24

Have they tried upping the medication?

My dog has bad anxiety and we have regular medication reviews.
I recall it can take awhile to find the correct dosage/ brand of medication that works for your dog.

My dog has bad anxiety that has worsened as he has aged, and was so bad last time I went away on a trip that he had a very upset tummy overnight every night on my parents' kitchen floor (he used to live in that house, so he has no real reason to be so stressed). Can I ask what medication has worked for your dog, as mine had to have such strong sedatives to make any difference to him and I felt so bad for him.

DisforDarkChocolate · 15/12/2025 16:01

That's not a lot of exercise for that typeof dog.

InterestedDad37 · 15/12/2025 16:06

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/12/2025 15:18

Maybe she could "run away"?

To 'the farm' , or just away 🤔

vanillalattes · 15/12/2025 16:10

Cavapoos are generally puppy-farmed and badly bred and are known for having a whole host of behavioural problems.

Honestly, this is super typical for the kind of dog you've chosen. There isn't really a magic cure or answer because she's genetically predisposed to all of this thanks to her poor breeding.

yoursweetpotatoesarebland · 15/12/2025 16:12

i have a dog like this (though she is pure poodle). She ate through the garden fence to get to me once..

I have to say - getting a second dog was an absolute game changer. She’s still slightly mental but just regular dog mental now 😆

VickyEadieofThigh · 15/12/2025 16:12

PInkyStarfish · 15/12/2025 15:22

I can’t stand these dogs. I have met so many that are exactly as you describe.

I would usually side with keeping the dog if it were another bred, one that might calm down and behave with the correct training but these are one of the worst mixed breeds and I’ve met people who have spent a small fortune on behaviourists and the dog is still bloody awful.

Will the breeder have her back?

The dog is EIGHT!

ChristmasinBrighton · 15/12/2025 16:12

My lab needs two hours off lead each day. I don’t think your dog is getting enough exercise.

booksareforlife · 15/12/2025 16:16

What are you doing to mentally tire her out?

We have a high energy dog and we do a lot of training on our walks (Every walk for the past two years), it's a bit pointless just going for a 1.5 mile walk twice a day (that also doesn't sound like a lot? We do 4 miles once a day and that takes a little over an hour, 1.5 miles would be around 20-30 minutes?).

You need to be doing mental enrichment both on walks and at home. Otherwise you just end up with a really fit dog whose almost impossible to tire out.

TreeDudette · 15/12/2025 16:17

The walking is not about the distance but about the time spent sniffing. The further you walk the fitter the dog but what tires them out is using their brain (or at least that was my behaviourists advice). Sniffing is really important, it's harder for them to walk on uneven surfaces than flat road and hence more brain used...

A set routine, a calm house, a quiet place the dog can go to get peace, someone home all the time, an adaptil plug in... All things that help a slightly neurotic dog find peace. I have a neurotic dog - a Bichon (after the thunder storms a few years back he got agraphobia that it took us almost a year of patience to sort out!)

Can you work around the dog and perhaps pop it in the car when you have guests so you don't have to listen to the barking (ours likes the car when it's not moving). Mine doesn't like being left at home much either so I pay a sitter, take him with me, leave him at my parents or pop him in the car where he'll wait for a few hours peacefully. He isn't keen on the car moving so we can't just drive him about without him getting a walk at the other end. We pay for an inhome sitter for a week during the summer so we can get a holiday without having to pander to him and she costs me as much as the damned holiday sometimes but she's known him for most of his life and he loves her. He loves other dogs but I am not sure how he'd share. We have never got a second dog for risk of just ending up with double the issues.

I guess what I am saying is I feel your pain. An anxious dog is tricky and you end up spending a lot of time, money and patience on trying to deal with it. An 8 year old Cavapoo would hopefully get rehomed if you gave him up but I couldn't take the risk with my little nutter. Ideally it sounds like he should be with someone with nothing to do all day but sit and keep the dog company (something mine has been campaigning for for years). At least I work from home so he is mostly not alone.