Dog has me at my wits end.

[Badhuman]

Our dog has been to vets, behavioural trainer and we have followed lots of other advice. She gets 2 big walks a day. Morning 2 miles and early evening 1.5 miles. She is a Cavapoo and 8 years old.

I’m at my wits end. She is a quite a nice dog but the destruction and attention seeking is killing me and I absolutely resent her now. I can’t have anyone in the house during the day without her barking forever. I can’t leave her without her barking forever. She has to be with me the whole time. We’ve tried anxiety medicine - no difference in behaviour. Behaviour has always been not great.

My kids adore her. What the hell do I do. WIBU to rehome her.

As soon as I saw the title I knew what breed it would be about.

We are a big animal family especially dogs and know this breed well. Majority need a lot of walking/running as well as mental stimulation. They also need firm boundaries. As the saying goes give them an inch and they will take a mile.

You say the dog is 8, is this a new thing or have you only just recently got them?

Same here with ours. A 1.5 mile walk is really not a "big walk". It's half an hour, max.

I really hope this is a joke.

Get rid.

I thought that cavapoos were part cavalier king Charles’s which aren’t particularly ‘highly’ intelligent and are not high energy breeds which is a term reserved usually for working breeds? My understanding was that mixing a highly intelligent poodle with a cavalier was supposed to create an intelligent and active (but not overly so) family dog.

They def seem marmite and I could be wrong but those with extensive dog breed experience seem to detest them yet the average first time dog owner seems to adore them - their popularity (and price tag) certainly shows no signs of dying down!

This sounds really challenging.

Have you tried a Clinical Animal Behaviourist? They will be able to work closely with you and your dog and put a programme in place. They can deal with anxieties and phobias. this really worked for us. They got the right meds and introduced other stimulations such as sniffy games which really helped to calm them.

Try to rehome. The dog seems more trouble than it’s worth.

If the dog is highly anxious then I think rehoming would be really stressful for it (even if you could find someone who is looking for a destructive older dog with behavioural issues). I'd pts before I rehomed in those circumstances.

My neighbour has a cavapoo, the little bastard has barked from the minute they picked her up as a puppy, she is also terrible on the lead. They rarely leave her on her own as she constantly barks with no break whatsoever. Horrid little dog.

Cavapoos are very prone to have separation anxiety (so are cockerpoos) so that's not very surprising if you chose that mix. It also does sound like the dog is not getting anywhere near enough enrichment in terms of excercise or other activities that will tire it out. The walks you mention are really quite short walks and you don't specify how those walk look. Is it on the lead and roughly the same places or do you take the dog off lead, climb hills, go to the beach etc? What is the dog doing between the walks? Is it left home alone or does it get played with or get any mental stimulation?

Cavs are intelligent, prone to separation anxiety and are attention seeking. They certainly are not a low energy breed in any way unless they are left to get fat (which they often are unfortunately). I've had working breeds my entire life and never had a cav that couldn't keep up. They pick up incredibly quickly, often quicker than the labs. Its not a great mix. They are popular with first timers because they look fluffy and cute and are little without being too little.

"The farm" would be perfect!

Much better off with a qualified behaviourist.

Cavaliers are anxious and prone to separation anxiety - as are poodles (who are also high energy dogs). Mix them both together and you get an overly anxious, nervous energetic dog that needs an experienced owner who is pretty much always at home but who can also provide lots of exercise and stimulation.

3.5 miles a day isn't that much exercise, It's probably only an hour in total of her whole day. Does she get to spend any of that off lead or playing with other dogs? What learning and play does she get on top of that? I expect a lot of what you are dealing with is extreme frustration on her part which has become a habit and barking, chewing etc has become her 'entertainment'.

Imagine if you had to sit / lay in the same fairly sterile environment (compared to outdoors with all it's new sights and smells) for 23 hours a day, without your phone or TV or anything to occupy your mind or hands, day after day, for years.... you'd find any little bit of interaction or company mind-blowingly exciting, any little job you could do or even a bit of fidgeting would be a welcome distraction.... that's her world right now.

Lets face it, you are going to have to spend to put the situation right. Either that or pass it on to someone else to have the same issues.

Your dog hasnt had the training it needed. Full stop. No ifs and buts about it. Its been going on for 8 years. Your dog, in an experienced handlers hands would be a different dog.

You need to pay someone for 1-1 help in general and in your home. Its going to be expensive and time consuming but it will work. How much is you home life and sanity worth? £1k, £2k, £5k You need to pay for someone to help you train your dog.

Brain work, the issue with all these ooodle cross breeds is people don’t realise poodles are clever dogs and need to work their brains. Get the kids to teach her some doggy dancing tricks.

Disagree with PP who said an hour a day is not enough walkies.

An hour of walking can be nothing for a fit human, young labrador or working cocker but a is full workout for a small senior dog.

Just saying for balance because I'd hate the OP to do the dog an injury by suddenly double-tripling her exercise at her age.

Of course there'll be people queuing to adopt an 8 year old out of control cavapoo! If dog is recent rescue, the rescue itself may be able to help. If you've had the for 8 years OP, why are you finding it suddenly unmanageable NOW?

While 8 is technically senior, cavapoos can live to about 15, so we're not talking about a dog in the final years of its' life. An 8yo, healthy dog should easily be able to manage several hours of exercise without too much build-up.

You know you're not rehoming her. I know you wouldn't do that to her or your DCs.
But I get it. I have a difficult rescue dog, not difficult in the home to be fair, but reactive when she is out and about. It's so stressful, but ultimately I love her, so we're in it for the long haul. I go for walks in very isolated places preferably at night and hope to god she'll protect me if she has to. It's not ideal.

Reading this and some of the comments has made me really angry. Why did you get this dog? Did you look into the breeds in any way? You have a dog that’s high energy and high anxiety/need because of the breeds. Didn’t you consider that? And people suggesting looking into re homing. What?? Dog charities are inundated with strays let alone people giving up dogs they didn’t research properly before buying. A dog is a lifelong responsibility. If more people adopted rather than buying maybe the situation wouldn’t be like it is now.

This dog is not feeling emotionally safe. They are overwhelmed and these are all coping strategies - just like people fidget, scroll, clean excessively, exercise obsessively, comfort eat and binge watch old shows. Most people can't switch their mind off - neither can this dog - and it's not the OP's fault, they've likely followed lots of training advice and as they say, seen a behaviourist and vets to try and help. They are trying to do everything right but the information is often lacking crucial information.

The dog doesn't need more walks or more mental stimulation - this is feeding into the coping mechanisms. They need more understanding, compassion and for the OP to understand that the dog, while being 8 years old, is developmentally very young. They likely need some changes to the walk but not necessarily longer/more of it. Likely, less walks. They need to build a closer bond built on empathy, safety and curiosity. It can be done with a dog of any age but takes time. The dogs' social character plays into this too.

There's a lot to unpack, but comments of 'walk it more' and 'more mental stimulation' are feeding into these dogs who desperately need quiet and emotional safety, and causing well meaning loving guardians more problems.

Look over at Dog Training Advice and Support: https://fbdtas.com/articles-guides

What did the behaviourist say?

Unfortunately, that’s what happens when back yard breeders create this type of dog. Two very high needs dogs, very different high needs too, and you get this.

The only reason they become popular is because they’re cute as puppies.

I presume you’ve not had the dog 8 years? Poor thing has already been passed around so no wonder it has issues. You need a behaviourist or you’re just passing the problem on to someone else and who knows what they’d do.