To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

Don't get involved in this madness. Box of Roses. Job done.

YANBU. £15 is a lot, and the teachers won’t expect it. What if the TA and teacher don’t get on, and don’t want to spend a spa day together? As for the personalised bauble-🤮🤮🤢🤢

Just don’t do it.

That’s what I thought. But it’s like a parallel universe - most other parents are gushing in response at how original and thoughtful it is to do the bauble - one other mum saying she’s copying it next year!

Very clique type of group. Small village pre school

As a teacher I wouldn't be delighted with the Spa day, I wouldn't be charmed by the personalised bauble ( really? Really? )

I would however be absolutely delighted with your box of chocolates.
I would also be over the moon just with a nice card with an appreciative message.

I've had some lovely baubles over the years as a teacher but never with a child's face on 🤣 a box of chocs will always be appreciated and I definitely wouldn't want to go to a spa with half of my colleagues.

Just reply saying what a great idea, how lovely, but we’ve already organised our present for this year so won’t be joining in. It’s madness but you don’t want to fall out with them.

I'm trying to imagine a nightmare Xmas tree in a few years time with dozens of children's heads hanging on it.

They're going to piss themselves laughing in private, then it'll be in the bin.

That’s a lot to ask for & I am not sure the teachers will want the spa day. It sounds like they are all supposed to be going together? Also they might not all want a takeaway? Stick with what you bought & just ignore.

In my children’s primary we only really did big gift at the end of the academic year. But it would be John Lewis voucher usually.

Just put on WhatsApp you have already sorted a gift & leave it at that.

...then leave the WhatsApp group. I'm not really sure why you need one.

If they’re handing them a wedge of cash in an envelope, how do they know it’s going to be spent on a spa day and take away?

Actually, I’m pretty sure there’s laws about max amount someone can accept such as teachers, medical staff etc

YANBU. It’s completely up to you whether you engage with this or do your own gift. Other parents do not have the right to pressure you into something you never agreed to in the first place!

Oh I did laugh at the bauble

"We've already organised a gift from our family. Wishing you all a lovely Christmas."

At DS's school everyone chips in to an account for something the teacher has requested - glue sticks, scissors or the likes. Allows the teacher to not end up spending their own money on essentials. I originally worried it was a bit crap, but then a few teachers I worked with were actually wishing they could have a classroom wish list rather than umpteen bottles of wine they didn't like.

There's also a £8 max contribution so they don't fall foul of LA gift rules (which is actually about ridding the competitiveness that had started to creep in amongst some parents).

DC are secondary age now thankfully so past the class collection stage. We used to give about £10/£15 to the class rep who organised a group present. I was happy to do it as it was one less job for me, but the teacher usually got a John Lewis/M&S voucher. A decent amount too, probably about £150 or so which they were always grateful for. I can’t imagine any of them wanted a bauble with DCs face emblazoned across it 🤣

It’s all getting crazy. The bauble is blatantly going in the bin. And a spa day? It’s a really lovely thought but it’s way too much!

I think a bottle of something, or some flowers or chocolate etc is fine. But do think it’s all a bit much.

I sent £5 to our class rep for my daughter, I think that’s more than enough.

I also agree about the bauble - DH teaches primary and has had a few baubles over the years but not with a child’s face on it. That’s just a bit much. He’d like the chocolate to add to the Christmas stash.

Sounds totally OTT. Just say you’ve done your own thing, send in a handmade card and call it a day. I just do a £10 voucher in a card now when I do want to get a gift, because I always think teachers must really find it difficult to find space for all the stuff they get. Mugs, handmade ornaments, all lovely but I barely have room for the copious amounts of stuff my own kids make, let alone someone else’s. At least with a voucher they get to choose something they want to make space for!

Do they all have to go on a spa day together? Sounds like a stupid gift honestly, nightmare to coordinate and maybe they don’t all get along! Perhaps they don’t want to get in their swimwear with colleagues!

My dds friend is a teacher and her first Christmas she got a voucher for £250 and a cashmere scarf. She was very appreciative but in private she was mortified because she knew that while it was a decent area not every one was well off.
Like most teachers she said a card with a nice message is always appreciated if anyone feels the need.

We had it with a kids birthday recently - one mum takes it upon themselves to make a “collection” for the birthday child (turning 5) so they can have lots of money to go shopping with.

Uh, no. A gift is a gift and little kids like toys! It was a sweet sentiment but I really don’t like being told by other people how to spend my money and it takes all the joy away from gift giving. I ignored it and did my own thing.

Well, I’m a teacher -secondary, so this wouldn’t happen-and I’d cringe myself inside out at the bauble. The Mum must have main character syndrome by proxy to think the teacher wants a bauble with her child’s face on it!

Oh gosh, one child in my class gifted me a framed school photo of himself to put on my mantelpiece! He had been one of the trickier children in the class and while we overcame some tough obstacles together and he ended the year a lot better than he started it, I had no desire to be reminded of him every time I sat down in the evenings to watch some telly!! I put it in a box of stuff from that school, it’s in the loft.
I did receive a couple of Christmas decorations which we’ve just put on the tree this evening which were from children but not personalised with their faces 😂

Just stick with a box of chocolates op, ime staff don’t appreciate personalised things from children of themselves, that’s more of a present for a grandparent!

Christ that's ridiculous!

agree just say I've sorted our own