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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

422 replies

lostintherhythagain · 14/12/2025 20:24

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

OP posts:
DailyEnergyCrisis · 15/12/2025 07:30

We do a class gift with no expectations on amount contributed which ranges from a few quid to £30. This goes on a voucher (generally of £250ish) and a small token gift to open like a personalised notebook. When I’m arranging it I always ask the teacher where they shop to get a voucher they will use. Tends to go down well.

Elsvieta · 15/12/2025 07:31

Box of chocs and leave the WhatsApp. That way you won't even know what other people are doing, and will rapidly cease to care.

(Are there any men worrying about this sort of nonsense, ever? Maybe just... don't?)

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 15/12/2025 07:31

Don’t mind putting a tenner or something in and then not having to think about teacher gifts til next time. Equally happy to get them
each a box of chocolate and a card.

The bauble with the kids face on it though 😂

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/12/2025 07:34

I think class collections, where everyone gives what they want and it’s split between teacher and TA, is a good way to do this. Our dcs are secondary now but primary school teachers and TA used to get around £150 each in either M&S or John Lewis vouchers. Class rep set up a collection donation thing or took cash. Some parents handed over a couple of pounds, some £30, some nothing, but the gift was from all the children and families.

I did think this would be more helpful for the teachers than 30 boxes of cheap chocolate.

Maybeishouldcrochet · 15/12/2025 07:35

Oh my word....
I have bought the teacher chocolate pencils- after my daughter told me about a fight in her class over pencils last week!!! Apparently her teacher doesn't want to see any over Christmas.... So I have decided that chocolate pencils are the way forward. We normally pop an Amazon gift card in as well for some class supplies (or put in some small prizes for the class prize jar).

Namechangerage · 15/12/2025 07:36

Elsvieta · 15/12/2025 07:31

Box of chocs and leave the WhatsApp. That way you won't even know what other people are doing, and will rapidly cease to care.

(Are there any men worrying about this sort of nonsense, ever? Maybe just... don't?)

To be fair they’re not worrying about because… they’re not doing it!

AngelinaFibres · 15/12/2025 07:36

Was a teacher for many years. Chocolates always nice . A card with a sentence about something nice we've done during the term also fabulous.For final leaving present John Lewis vouchers always lovely. Spa days absolutely not my thing and certainly didn't want to spend a day at a spa with the people I worked with.

BlackCatFanClub · 15/12/2025 07:37

DD went to primary in an area of deprivation. On the last day parents would turn up with huge gift bags of gifts with balloons. There’s definitely a bit of competition going on for who brings the biggest.
I’ve sat in that schools staff room, dozens of ‘best teacher’ mugs in the cupboards, it’s all land fill.

i always think it’s odd that when children go to secondary it just stops, which is good. I know DDs school tried to put a stop to it but they should be more forceful I think.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/12/2025 07:38

Also @lostintherhythagain- are they sure the staff can find the time to do this?amy women work in these term time only jobs because they have their own dcs and want to be with them in the school holidays, but it’s really hard to take a day off work in the term time. A spa voucher might work for some staff but I would put money on at least one of them not being able to make it work. A voucher for somewhere like M&S (that they can spend on clothes for themselves or use for posh food treats) would be better and avoid being a waste of money.

nc43214321 · 15/12/2025 07:41

I would probably just do the £15 if I hadn’t done anything just for ease. But if you’ve done what you wanted to do that’s okay also, just say you’ve sorted something already and move on.

Bestfootforward11 · 15/12/2025 07:43

This sounds madness! In our class, people contributed what they wanted/were able and the class rep got something with whatever money was given- usually a wine/chocs and a voucher- and it was given from ‘all the parents’. My DD would write a card herself to the teacher with her own message (when old enough). There were 30 kids in the class and I’m sure the teacher would be horrified to get baubles with all their little faces! 😂 imagine over the years, literally hundreds of baubles…

x2boys · 15/12/2025 07:46

The Baubel is ridiculous, i could understand it [ although a bit twee) if it was one of somebody's own child
But a child they taught???
Also the present is OTT and presumptuous, that everyone can afford.the contribution.

KeepAwayFromChildren · 15/12/2025 07:46

ThatJollyGreySquid · 14/12/2025 20:26

YANBU. £15 is a lot, and the teachers won’t expect it. What if the TA and teacher don’t get on, and don’t want to spend a spa day together? As for the personalised bauble-🤮🤮🤢🤢

This.

100%

This is planet loony bin.

As for the bauble - cringe!

researchers3 · 15/12/2025 07:47

The bauble is hilarious. What if every parent did that?!

I bet it's going around the back of the tree!

I generally duck mass collections and do a card and chocs/wine.

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 15/12/2025 07:48

My DP is a primary school teacher and would be mortified with vouchers for an experience day! What if the teacher doesn't like spa breaks? Total waste of money. And if he was presented with a bauble with a pupil's face on it, it would go straight in the recycling. Who does that for a present?!

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 15/12/2025 07:49

Oh yes, and please don't bother with Best Teacher mugs. They just go straight to the charity shop.

DucksInARowingBoat · 15/12/2025 07:49

That's mad! And why would anyone want a picture of a random child?

We did small, thoughtful gifts at the end of the school year only eg a bar of their favourite chocolate etc. and a thank you note/best memory note.

When my son left school, he bought a couple of his most helpful teachers note books but spent ages looking for notebooks in the style they'd use. He wrote a note in the front page saying how much they'd helped and encouraged him. Apparently one cried, he got all embarrassed and said he's never doing it again. 🤣🤣🤣

TheCurious0range · 15/12/2025 07:52

I think the bauble is insane and will surely be chuckled at by staff after hours, but £15 for two teacher gifts seems fine to me

OneShyQuail · 15/12/2025 07:52

As a teacher, I appreciate a thank you card that's from the heart.
As a parent, in our whatsapp group (30 parents) we do a £10 at the of the school year and do an experience (last two years was a spa) each teacher was extremely thankful and lets face it, something like that is needed after a year of teaching little ones 😂
Christmas i just send a thank you card.

Laughing at the bauble of a child's face what on earth, kids are great but you dont want thar on ur tree at home 😂

TheAutumnCrow · 15/12/2025 07:57

I doubt teachers are even allowed to hang images of young pupils in their houses anyway. It’ll be part of the safeguarding policy that they shouldn’t be in personal possession of images of their pupils. Authorised school stuff only. I’d find it weird if I saw the Bauble Child on show in someone’s living room in the hols.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/12/2025 08:02

TheAutumnCrow · 15/12/2025 07:57

I doubt teachers are even allowed to hang images of young pupils in their houses anyway. It’ll be part of the safeguarding policy that they shouldn’t be in personal possession of images of their pupils. Authorised school stuff only. I’d find it weird if I saw the Bauble Child on show in someone’s living room in the hols.

They would have to go on the school Christmas tree. I don't know about the legality/illegality of having the image at home if the child's parents had given it to the teacher. I wouldn't take it home anyway though, I wouldn't want it.

user1471538283 · 15/12/2025 08:03

My two are adults but I never gave presents to their teachers! When my DS left kindergarten I gave his favourite teacher some flowers.

We are in an economic crisis and it's Christmas. This sort of pressure annoys me.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/12/2025 08:04

OneShyQuail · 15/12/2025 07:52

As a teacher, I appreciate a thank you card that's from the heart.
As a parent, in our whatsapp group (30 parents) we do a £10 at the of the school year and do an experience (last two years was a spa) each teacher was extremely thankful and lets face it, something like that is needed after a year of teaching little ones 😂
Christmas i just send a thank you card.

Laughing at the bauble of a child's face what on earth, kids are great but you dont want thar on ur tree at home 😂

Not everyone likes Spas. The teacher is hardly likely to say 'Oh no, I don't want this' when you hand it over, they would have to be polite and appear grateful.

PinkElephants356 · 15/12/2025 08:05

Assuming it’s a spa day they all use together, where they all have to find a day they are all free and can do and where everyone has to sacrifice a day off to spend with people they work with, it IS NOT A PRESENT, it’s a headache!

It’s not a nice gift at all!

I guarantee they will all hate it and it’s very likely it won’t get used unless they use it on a working day and close the nursery.

If it’s a day they can use individually then it’s still a headache because experience vouchers often are and again at least half won’t get used.

The staff will think, “what’s wrong with a box of chocolates?”

Tiswa · 15/12/2025 08:06

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/12/2025 21:38

There are no "laws". Some schools have policies on gift acceptance and, of course, this nonsense stops with a massive clang once your child gets to secondary school.

Unless you put a stop to it now and simply thank the staff for doing their jobs.

Show quote history

Yep and definitley will depend on the area.

Where I am this was normal throughout primary at Christmas and at the end of the year.

I organised it for many years at times for both mine but was always optional and always discretionary amount but it would vary between £5 to £20. We often would get upwards of £200 which would normally be a voucher plus a few small bits and gifts for the TA. It was just how it was so most went along with it - I never pressured or judged it just was the thing that happened

I do live in Surrey/South London borders though