To not want to contribute to this madness? Christmas teacher gifting experiences

[lostintherhythagain]

DD is only 4! And not yet reception age

Her little nursery has about 15 in total who are her age.

Parents in the WhatsApp group have been discussing some people not paying up for experience day for teachers AND the staff take away

They want £15 each per family from us so the teacher and support staff can have a spa day. And then money for a take away (they’ll just give them cash in a card) for the end of Christmas school time, before they break up, to have a take away delivered as the staff don’t go home same time as the children obviously

AIBU not to contribute? I never said I’d do it. Not sure if there’s anyone else not contributing

One parent has got the teacher and her child’s TA a personalised bauble. With her DC’s face in it?!?! Utter madness

I have gifted a box of chocolates and didn’t plan to spend anymore.

Oh good god, just let them be mad together.

I collect for my child’s nursery and pre school and obviously say it’s not mandatory and if you want to contribute £10/15/20 max. There’s quite a few teachers and ta’s to split between we ended up with just over £400 split it all equally and got them each a voucher that covers several shops / eateries. Hopefully it’s well received

Last day before Christmas, they will be out of the door as soon as possible. No one will be wanting to hang around for a take away.

My cousins teach primary and my Grandma did at the same school for 32 years. All have said the same thing to me about gifts. The gifts they have kept and cherish are the homemade ones. They love homemade cards or even a shop bought one with a lovely message inside. Or just a drawing/handwritten poem. My Grandma has boxes filled with things like this and little trinkets. She taught Reception and she still has little crafty things the children made for her.

My cousins feel genuinely guilty receiving lots of the same gifts because they can’t keep them all. An example is best teacher mugs, they get 5 or 6 every year and can’t store them all so have to give some away. Also chocolates, neither of them really eat chocolate but that one isn’t so bad because they can give them to a food bank.

I think they would all be mortified by expensive gifts, especially class collection ones if they felt poorer families had felt pushed into donating.

Charity shops are FULL of ‘best teacher’ mugs…

I'm a teacher and would cringe at a personalised bauble. Imagine getting one every year. So strange. I don't expect anything. If I was to be given something, wine and choc. Wine can be drunk any point in the year, and choc can be gifted on if too much!

I think that is utter madness (I am a teacher).

A personalised bauble with her child's face on it?

What ridiculous thing to give a teacher! I hope it's breakable.

The bauble is self-absorbed insanity. Who wants a random child’s head hanging on their tree?! I like spa days but wouldn’t want to go on one with colleagues. It all sounds OTT and I’d stay out of it. Give them a nice box of biscuits and a card made by DC.

Perhaps it is a generational thing, but to me the idea of giving a teacher any sort of Christmas gift is ridiculous. They are professionals, doing their job. Not waiters needing a tip, not relatives needing an exchange of tat as part of a family Christmas tradition.

Christmas presents for teachers was unheard of when I was at school, and when my children was small it was just starting to come in, as part of the relentlessly increasing commercialisation of Christmas. Just one or two mums in each class, obsessed with shopping, looking for new pretexts for buying tat. Then it gradually becomes something that all parents start to feel that they "should" do.

If I ran a school I would send out a communication asking parents not to do this.

Ditto. Start as you mean to go on. It makes me uncomfortable to receive these gifts.

I have 3 mugs with my teacher name on so can’t donate. They live at school in staff room. I have 4 shopper bags with my name on. Who goes shopping with their name on show? Very well meant but not thought out. A card with a thank you is far more appreciated or a donation to a children’s charity .

It's very poor form to compel every parent to contribute or expect that they do. It doesn't normally happen like that at primary school.

We've ne er given more than a box of chocs. Since covid though dc's school has requested that we don't gift anything to the teachers unless it's a card or a letter.

It all erupted when someone decoded to try to have a whip around. Parents complained and it was stopped.

We're in a very mixed area with some high concentrations of deprivation.

At my school we have just run dry on staffroom chocolate from July gifts.

Just encourage your child to make a Christmas card and give the staff some chocolates or even some nice hand lotion for their washroom/loo.
This trend of buying extravagant gifts for teachers is getting ridiculous and is generally started by one parent with too much cash and nothing else better to do! I’ve even known one person who used the whole event to, in her own words, ‘find out who’s got money and who’s on benefits’!

I'm a teacher and a box of chocolates is great. We don't expect anything. As a parent however I've pd £10 for one of my children (covers teacher and TA) and £15 for my other child (2 teachers - job share and 1 TA) as part of the class collection. To me this is saving money as I would always pay £10 per adult so that would have been £50. I'm in Northern Ireland though and we seem to give more for things like this, presents, weddings etc. I absolutely love the class collection as a teacher and as a parent. Minimal effort and the teacher can get what they want. I appreciate however that not everyone can afford this and are struggling financially. In our parents WhatsApp people only contribute it they want too. It absolutely should be voluntary.

I can see the point of class gifts if e.g. they mean you only need to spend £5 but the teacher gets £150 John Lewis voucher instead of 30 X mugs/chocs/cheap bottles of wine but I think £15 a head and getting in a grump if people don't contribute isn't on.

I'm a retired Reception teacher and I think it's a crazy idea. I wouldn't have wanted to go on a Spa Day with a colleague. YANBU a box of chocolates is the way to go - if any gift at all. £15 is also way too much to be asked to pay.

I’m a teacher…£15 is a crazy amount of money to give! I would be so embarrassed by this. 😳

Also, I’d hate this as a gift (off anyone!!) I don’t like spa days (really really don’t like and wouldn’t go!!) and am on weight loss jabs, so wouldn’t be taking part in a take away either 🤷‍♀️

If this group are insistent on spending all this money (madness…but seems like they’ve already collected a substantial amount!) I’d be suggesting high street vouchers…don’t inflict spa days and food on them as a) they won’t have time to do a spa day anyway, and might not even want to, b) a forced ‘take away’ AFTER their last day at work?? Literally, all they’ll want to be doing is getting home and collapsing!

I get that these parents are trying to do a nice thing…but I fear this one has not been thought through.

OP…just stick to your guns and decline to participate.

That last bit is just awful.

”Sorry, I’ve already bought my own gift” is all you need to say and a common response on my class WhatsApp. This year the majority have bought their own gift, there’s only about three Mums that put into the group collection.

They won’t want a takeaway on the last day, they’ll want to be off home to start their Christmas holiday asap.

I used to stay out of all that madness. I'd buy those miniture boxes of lindt balls for my children to gift to their teachers.

I never put into the class collections, to me the gift should be from the child and the child should understand that they’re giving a gift to say thank you, and be helped to choose something appropriate. We always go with a nice box of biscuits or chocolates that they can share in the staff room with a card from the child. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to be giving teachers hundreds of pounds in gift vouchers.

Hello I've been a teacher for over three decades and I remember more lovely letters and notes sent to me (and please my line manager) then any shitty scented candle best teacher mug or gift voucher.