To wonder what all these thoughtful gifts are?

[JingleMyBellsChristmasSmells]

I see it on multiple threads at this time of year, posters congratulating themselves on only buying thoughtful gifts.
They never specify what they are though and why they are so thoughtful (as opposed to a none thoughtful gift?)
I have bought things for my teenagers that a lot of people would probably consider tat but I spent a lot of time thinking about whether they would like/use it. Does this redeem the gift? Or is it forever destined to be tat?
Lighthearted, I am happy with the gifts I've bought....just unseasonably grumpy and sick of seeing 'thoughtful gifts' mentioned every five minutes 🤣

Exactly that. My in laws are a bit like your SIL - in their mind they should buy everyone lots of things - which means they spend less on each item- when I'd generally prefer one or two nicer things I wouldn't buy myself.

There's a lot of talk about boots gift sets, I'm not against them myself as they do get used... but if I'm getting one I want one with stuff in I won't buy myself.

Perhaps it's a split between the piles of presents people and the don't need lots of stuff people?

I thìnk the some of the most thoughtful presents I have ever received are from my adult autistic son. For my birthday last year, he bought me a beautiful box decorated with musical instruments and symbols. This year (my birthday was last week), he had made a small version of a Pass the Parcel and inside were three boxes with five musical mugs in total. He had bought them from Ebay a long time previously knowing that they would be the perfect gift for me.

I got my siblings an embroidery of my grandparents signatures from our childhood birthday cards. To this day they say it was the most thoughtful gift they received. We all have it in our homes and it’s really meaningful to us.

Thoughtful gifts are those which the giver has spent time thinking about in regards to if the receiver would like/use them. They can be experiences, big ticket items or smaller items. Even generic gifts can be thoughtful.

For example a thoughtful gift is buying someone "nice smellies" in scents you know they like and either the brand they like or something more luxurious than what they buy themselves. A thoughtless gift for that same person is buying whatever bathing gift set is on BOGOF or 3 for 2 in the shops.

We have bought Great Grandmother in law something many people would consider thoughtless. However, she is in a home with dementia. In her lucid and younger days she enjoyed bathing and always bought and used Nivea smellies. Nowadays she is in the home and is bathed in whatever shower gel MIL buys from the supermarket for her. We have bought GGMIL some Nivea smellies. We've also bought her some chocolate ginger snaps (another favourite from her younger days). Along with a scrapbook photo album full of current pictures of family members with them all labeled with who they are for her to go through with visitors.

See, the fact that you believe ‘scented candles for a middle-aged woman’ must be thoughtless just proves the point that people aren’t always as thoughtful as they think they are! Because I’m a middle-aged woman and I fucking love a decent quality scented candle. Nobody ever buys them for me.

Yes, it really makes me laugh too. It’s utter bollocks.

I have a colleague who claims she is allergic to entire brands. As if there is a special ingredient that goes into ALL products by that brand and is used by no other manufacturer.

“Oh, I’m allergic to anything Benefit!,’ she’ll say. As if a Benefit blusher has the same ingredients as a Benefit mascara or concealer, but somehow has no ingredients in common with a blusher by any other brand.

Exactly I like a candle because they'll come in useful and can be stuck in a cupboard or easily regifted.

I don't want any presents but if I have to get them then something that will actually be used and not take up too much space/need disposing of are the best.

Far better than "I bought you this necklace with your birthstone" (don't wear jewellery) or "I know you like cats so here is a jumper with a cute cat on it because I'm SO THOUGHTFUL and KNOW YOU SO WELL!

No, I like the actual live animals, not random tat with pictures on them!

"Thoughtful presents" usually actually mean someone mentioning they are interested in something ONCE and then getting tangentially themed tat for the rest of their life -

e.g. mention Jane Austen is your favourite author - you like the plot, witticisms, language....that does not mean you're going to wear a t shirt emblazoned with "future Mrs darcy."

You enjoy the competitiveness, exercise, being outdoors, chatting to friends elements of playing golf and are supposed to be delighted by a pen in the shape of a golf stick.

Hand cream soap shower gel or body butter are gratefully received. A couple of friends and I exchange charity shop books. It’s great to have a book I wouldn’t necessarily of chosen.

I think 'thoughtful' is when you've taken note of when someone has paused by a shop window and said 'oooh, that's lovely!; at something, or picked something up in a shop and sadly put it back saying 'bit too much for my budget.' It shows you've listened, you've taken on board what they've said and then you go back and surprise them with it later. You didn't buy it because YOU liked it, or because it was the right price or because it looked like the kind of thing they might like, you bought it because they had SAID they liked it, but not bought it for themselves for whatever reason.

There are an awful lot of people who can spend inordinate amounts of time with you where you point at things and sigh over things and yet they STILL give you a box of generic chocolates and say 'I didn't know what to get you.'

@JingleMyBellsChristmasSmells & @NoisyViewer I have tried to make suggestions previously of things that they would actually like that can be bought on line (she does shop online). But they have been disregarded. She never asks for suggestions, so I often feel a bit awkward asking for something specific. Would not like vouchers as its the ripping off the wrapping paper and the boxes she likes. So often the bigger the box the gift comes in the better, regardless of what it is.

Oh, I don’t know about that, I’m one of those strange people who just absolutely LOVE socks (probably to the point that I have waaaay more pairs than I’d actually be able to wear 😂)!

I am thinking that the perfect MN gift would be a second-hand book from a charity shop.
Ticks all the boxes this year at least - next year, who knows? (As far as I remember Lindor were not mentioned last year but seem to have shot into the faddy top five of tat gifts this year)

I’m happy with hand cream , body lotion so long as it’s not heavily scented .
One thing I like to get is a large family planner calendar, boring I know 😆
One year I was given a really nice Chilly bottle and I have used that so much so really appreciated that as they’re a bit pricey .

I can tell you the opposite of thoughtful.After years of receiving hotel chocolate Christmas and Easter for the past 8 years from my brother,.i plucked up the courage to admit in conversation when they were mentioned ,that I didn't like them.That was 2 years ago.i had some at Easter this year and just been given another for Christmas.my lovely brother is very generous, but I can't bear the thought of him wasting his money every year.on the other hand, my neighbour is happy as I give them to her.

That’s a gorgeous present