To wonder what all these thoughtful gifts are?

[JingleMyBellsChristmasSmells]

I see it on multiple threads at this time of year, posters congratulating themselves on only buying thoughtful gifts.
They never specify what they are though and why they are so thoughtful (as opposed to a none thoughtful gift?)
I have bought things for my teenagers that a lot of people would probably consider tat but I spent a lot of time thinking about whether they would like/use it. Does this redeem the gift? Or is it forever destined to be tat?
Lighthearted, I am happy with the gifts I've bought....just unseasonably grumpy and sick of seeing 'thoughtful gifts' mentioned every five minutes 🤣

I would love it if someone bought me things from the John Lewis gift dept - marzipan fruits, tin of amaretti, garden gloves and lovely trowel gift set - all that stuff. I actually say this frequently but everyone thinks I’m joking. It would be really thoughtful to listen to me!

Ok so thoughtless is: buying something for someone that you actually want for like/yourself , buying things for people that are very like something they already have, buying things for people that are related to their job eg buying popular science books for a scientist, buying a generic dance calendar for someone who is a dancer. And worst of all scented candles for middle aged women. Just stop.

Not a snob, just have eczema so can’t use any of it.

I’m the same! Some Booja chocolates, a trio of pates, candle sets… literally anything kitchen themed too (olive oil, fancy sporks, salt and pepper shakes shaped like sardines). I love the John Lewis gifts but nobody seems to realise.

Anything except booze which I do not drink and get given by everyone. Eventually it’s all drunk by guests and I end up giftless again.

Because I'm very good at remembering small stuff about people, I'm very good at thoughtful gifts (will forget to call you back but the gifts are excellent tbh) and I think its about remembering stuff like that

• have bought rare antique champagne glasses for the friend that talked about a particular style she used to love drinking out of at her aunts as a child, found the same ones
• Pickle obsessed DB who loves a stupid tshirt got a years subscription to a monthly pickle club with a Pickle Slut tshirt
• Tinned fish obsessed dad got a years subscription to a tinned fish monthly subscription (which he now pays for himself and hasn't stopped 5 years later)
• Mum loves smoked fish so she got a tour of a local smokehouse, lunch and some vouchers for their shop this birthday
• Friend of mine is on a very low income and all hair and body products are much cheaper then she enjoys (she doesnt have expensive taste, she likes original source but can afford supermarket value for example) so every birthday and christmas I put together a hamper of the bits she loves and some snacks (peanut M&Ms and branded Dr Pepper 😂) (So people on here need to not assume everyone hates stuff like that!)
• Other friends favourite snack is one you can only get in Scandinavia so every year her gift is 6 bags of them
• Friends daughter loves discovering different haribo sweets with her best friend so I pick up a bag or 2 when I travel somewhere (and get their feedback in a scoring system!)

I moved to Denmark and found the darkness and relentless rain and grey skies very hard at first so a friend bought me a SAD lamp and an umbrella with a bright blue cloudy sky print (so I can always have a blue sky!) and it makes me smile every time I use it.

I mentioned to a friend that I miss Dairy Milk chocolate and decent tea bags so much so every time I visit or she visits, I get 2 boxes of tea and 4 bars of chocolate

I will buy scented candles for middle aged women 🙄but only if they LIKE candles and I take the time to think about the scents.

Gifts don't have to be expensive at all but it is about knowing people and taking the time to know them.

Yes! I would love this! Everyone laughs and goes "oh you don't want nonsense like that" I DO! I LOVE the nonsense

The only person who will listen to my wants for this is DB, this year he bought me a cardigan with Ghosts on and a set of novelty salt and pepper shakers!

I've bought my sis some Friday khalo related paraphernalia, a calendar and make up bag,a crochet cactus and a glittery gingerbread in a pink cowboy hat lol.

Everyone else would think it's tacky as shite, but I know she'll cry when she opens it cos I've put sooooo much thought into it 😁

Clearing out my teenagers room we have discovered an old guitar. My friend Nicola is giving it to her son for Christmas. This makes me feel a bit teary as Nicola doesn’t have much money and her son wanted a guitar for Christmas so now he has one for free. It’s also helpful for me/ my son as we have one less thing cluttering up his room.

So I didn’t actually buy that gift. I asked her if she wanted it and she does so she is collecting it tomorrow. Her son won’t care that it’s secondhand.

Generally I try to only buy for my children and my partner so I know exactly what they want/ need.

I think sometimes it a time over money thing.

I have put a photo album together for my partner which will definitely make him cry. Cost about a fiver and it will be his favourite gift of them all.

I am a nonsense fiend. My husband has now bought me a mixing bowl covered in chickens and I think my best friend (a new friend and this is our first exchange) has bought me an amusing butter dish. Which is perfect.

Oh yes, MNetters do like getting all puffed up with self-righteous indignation about people who buy 'tat destined for landfill' every year, which of course no one does in real life. It makes them feel superior by getting worked up about something that doesn't actually happen anyway

My MIL does this. She spends an absolute fortune on everyone but literally goes out and buys generic Boots gift sets, random perfumes and aftershaves, clothes for the men (lumping my poor DH who has a very cool fashion sense in with his Dad and Grandad and they all end up with the same things in various colours or prints), candles etc then just splits it out between everyone. It’s frustrating as we aren’t exactly flush and I’d rather had a gift card to pick something out I’d really like instead. We just end up with loads of expensive stuff we don’t want or need.

My best friend is the queen of thoughtful gifts. She is absolutely incredible at gift buying and gets everyone she knows the perfect things they would love. I don’t know how she does it!

I try and spot things that make me think of the person

If I don't then I take them to lunch / or give them vouchers for a restaurant (or whatever they are into)

I mean an enormous amount of stuff we buy at Christmas does quickly end up as landfill

https://www.businesswaste.co.uk/news/christmas-waste-facts-its-not-very-jolly/

It's impressive, in a way (all that cheese!)

Not including the PPs autumn bedlinen, of course

I was in a secret Santa at work and got a calendar of a sports star I had probably mentioned once in conversation of liking.
Now it wouldn’t not have been something I would have bought or even wanted but I really appreciated the thought the giver, a young guy, had put into going and getting it.
Throughout the year it randomly brought a smile to my face when I walked past it because of the thought put into getting it so to me thoughtful gifts are more about the thought put in by the giver rather than what I thought I wanted if that makes sense

This is soooo true!

Surely its just something you have just applied a bit of thought to and not just following the latest fad or generic gift.

I remember receiving a huge pack of nail polishes from my so called best friend. I didn't use nail Polish. Before I adopted my son I put a lot of effort into gifts for her children. I knew their hobbies and interests. My son received endless packs of crayons.

I don't drink much, I hate gin and fizzy wines. Anyone who really knows me would have noticed it, yet the number of alcoholic gifts I receive is astonishing.
Whereas you only have to set foot in my bathroom to know I like lotions and potions.
So literally just a bit of thought and an indication that you do actually know the person you are buying for

This reminds me of an article I read in Cosmopolitan years ago. They asked a self-proclaimed "gifting expert" to suggest thoughtful Christmas gifts that would suit a few different celebrities. Presumably to help inspire readers...

Slightly bizarrely, one of the celebrities was Geena Davis. The "expert" noted that Geena had narrowly missed out on being picked for the US archery team for the 2000 Olympics. Therefore, she declared that Geena would totally appreciate an archery set from XYZ retailer which the photo showed was a basic garden set. I found it hilarious that it didn't occur to this so-called expert that, given Geena's incredibly high standard, she would already have archery equipment and it would be a much higher spec than a kids' garden set 😂

A thoughtful gift might still be something I don't want - for example, I was once given a book related to my hobby, which was thoughtful, but not something I wanted. But I definitely still appreciated the effort and I love my friend for it.

A thoughtless gift is something that shows you've either put no effort in to it (eg regifted generic selection box) or actively shows you don't really know the person (eg getting perfume for someone allergic to it). I was once gifted cheap supermarket champagne glasses when nearly everyone knows I'm T-total. I was rather offended.

It just means relevant to the person. For example I have no interest in blankets with bells and whistles - no hoods, no sleeves, no pockets. For me, that is generic 'tat'. But my daughter thinks a blanket with sleeves and a hood sounds amazing and she would actually use it.

I try to be thoughtful and choose specific things for specific people, and I probably don't always succeed in getting the right thing, but I also don't just walk around shops picking up any old thing and trying to match it to a person.

Oh Love a nonsense fiend!! My brother is also a nonsense fiend which is always fun, a few years ago he bought me a bubble machine and I bought him a highland cow footstool.

Your people sound fantastic!

I very much want one of these butter dishes but they’re not in the budget but ONE DAY!

I'm obviously very easy to please because I'm happy with any present - as far as I'm concerned if someone has thought of me enough to buy me something, then that's thoughtful, even if they don't know me well enough to buy something that stirs my soul and moves me to tears.

I think this lacks imagination. My sister bought me a robot hoover on one occasion and a voucher where you take a test and they send books matched to what you like on another. Last year my boyfriend bought me a Harry Potter box to keep my things in at his house. My dad bought me a waterproof shower speaker. I’d have bought non myself but I absolutely love them all and appreciate the thought that went into them.

My comment wasn't about Christmas food. It was more about the annual posts,about Christmas (or halloween or easter) stuff such as bedding, towels, crockery etc that the eco-sanctamonious congingent of MN like to pretend we all throw out and buy again the following year. We don't of course, but it suits their narrative so the myth is peddled over and over again

Among the most memorable gifts I have received were two books, about 15 years ago - just normal fiction books but a lot of thought had went into them, I hadn't read them before and it turned out I absolutely loved them and always look out for the author now. They couldn't have been any more spot on. The thought that went into it really made it. It doesn't need to be complex, and can in fact be really simple.

The same person now just picks books from my want-to-read list which is still hugely appreciated but will never feel the same as when they actively chose them for me!