To think ADHD/ASD labels get used too casually sometimes?

[CuriousNotCruel]

NOT talking about people with genuine diagnoses. But AIBU to think some people casually label basic personality traits - introversion, distractibility, perfectionism, as ADHD/ASD online? It feels dismissive to people with the real conditions.

I agree my son is profoundly autistic, but I would be quite happy ro lose the autism diagnosis all together and call his condition something else.aa long as there is a distinction
It doesn't help anyone that both you and my sons have the same diagnosis imo.

I think you may be projecting here, I don't know you, I'm talking about someone I have known very well for many years. He has no social communication issues, has had a busy, normal, successful life, all milestone met etc. My daughter is autistic, that means something, it had a profound affect on her life. We need a word to express her difficulties. Perhaps more differentiation in the diagnosis is the way things will go.

Of course they are. But when you point out ND /NT are not binary, clearly different categories or that increased numbers of self diagnosed- and identifying as- ND people cannot possibly all access the accomodations they would like to be able to, you're ablist.

If you live a “normal life” whatever that is and aren’t significantly impacted by autism than I’d love to know how you got a diagnosis.

You don’t speak for everybody. Many people hide their autism as best they can and struggle day in and day out whilst jumping though the hoops of normalcy.

And define “profound”, two of my dc are supported by a significant amount of services. They don’t have a learning disability in addition but they are blighted with both autism and adhd which absolutely could be described as profound given the impact on life and the amount of support they get from services. All access mainstream education. Being non verbal doesn’t give you extra autism. It can vary throughout life and there are many non verbal children accessing mainstream schools.

I think you are projecting. You haven’t been there throughout said person’s life and you’re not in his head. Autism varies- a lot!

If you google online you will find forums of psychiatrists talking very candidly about their thoughts on ADHD and the people presenting to their offices seeking a diagnosis. It's actually very interesting reading with many interesting theories of what is going on and why so many people are seeking prescription stimulants in order to function and cope in todays world.

FYI, I have a diagnosis of ADHD myself and have been on and off various medications and I am now more sceptical about it than I once was. Also l literally don't know anyone who hasn't said to me at some point that they suspect they have ADHD, even people who objectively totally have their shit together.

I think a lot of the symptoms of ADHD overlap with the symptoms of phone addiction, which is why so many people have started wondering if they have ADHD. Especially when the social media they’re addicted to so often shows them lists of symptoms they can attribute to themselves. I started down the road of thinking like that, then I gave up instagram and pulled myself together and guess what I became organised again. That is absolutely NOT to say there aren’t people with genuine ADHD, of course there are, but when everyone you talk to says they’re wondering if they have ADHD because they fit the symptoms on Instagram you have to wonder.

I live a normal life now but i have had to work hard to get here.
Im just aware that some people will never get to that stage. For instance, my friends autistic brother has severe learning disabilities as an result and could never work because he doesn’t have the capability to.

Please don’t judge before you know a persons full situation. I have worked bloody hard to get to where I am in life and I was diagnosed when society barely acknowledged autism was even a thing, so there was ZERO help.

I agree that the length of waiting lists are causing people to self diagnose themselves and their children. I knew my dc were autistic way before they were diagnosed officially and the school did too. I still get annoyed when people talk about being "a bit autistic" or " neurospicy" and i probably have no right to do that.

I have 3 dc who have the kind of autism that used to be called Aspergers syndrome. And one who is diagnosed with the least severe kind of autism (I think they call it level 1) but also has severe emotional development delay as well, so he is 11 but has the emotional development of a 3 year old. But he is cognitively about right for his age. The older 3 mainly find their autism a major nuisance, and youngest doesn't really understand what autism is.

I have some ADHD traits, but I don't have ADHD. I'm easily distracted, I sometimes struggle to focus, I'm always losing things, I fidget, I'm forgetful etc But none of these traits overwhelm me or stop me from functioning well, like it does with people who actually have ADHD. I have a sister who does have ADHD.

I have noticed online recently that there's a weird assumption that NT people are all the same, cope fine with life and don't have daily challenges and issues. It's complete nonsense. NT people can also struggle with anxiety and concentration and socialising and all of those things too.

Not every difficulty needs a label, and not every personality trait is a diagnosis. NT people can and do struggle too, just in different ways. Pretending otherwise oversimplifies human experience and ultimately helps no one.

Right back at you. None of my kids will a normal life whatever that is. They don’t have severe learning difficulties which incidentally are separate to autism.

I agree. It's similar to the word 'phobia'. I had a genuine phobia up to a few years ago (I'm much better now thankfully) and it was absolutely crippling in regard to my everyday life. It irritated me that a mild dislike of something was labelled a 'phobia' because it meant people really didn't understand the extent of what I was going through.

Now people use the terms ADHD and OCD in similar ways. A faint preference for doing something a certain way gets labelled as OCD, or a bit of disorganisation for example, gets labelled ADHD. However, I do think the excessive use has diluted the terms, in that lots of people use the labels freely (I hate the term 'label' btw) which makes the terms very commonplace and therefore not as stigmatised. But I do understand that sufferers might not agree as they may feel it devalues their experience

They do say once you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person it might be worth pondering that thought as some here expect others autism to match or mimic their own / their loved ones.

Autism is bespoke to each autistic person, yes there are commonalities amongst them, but they aren't all the same, autism isn't graded as Learning Disabilities are, each autistic person regardless of intellect is "autistic" which is nice to know about them, but tells you absolutely nothing about the person in front of you, getting to know them, as an individual, let's you better understand them and what their autism means for them.

Oh yay another thread where we debate diagnosis.

It seems to be increasingly popular at the minute to try and make ND some sort of “super power” it is infuriating.

my DD is autistic, hasn’t left the house properly in months, hasn’t attended school in over a year, has accessed no education.

it is NOT a superpower. Though having said that just because she is verbal and not profound doesn’t make her needs any less in the sense of how they affect her.

Oh yay another thread where we debate diagnosis.

It seems to be increasingly popular at the minute to try and make ND some sort of “super power” it is infuriating.

my DD is autistic, hasn’t left the house properly in months, hasn’t attended school in over a year, has accessed no education.

it is NOT a superpower. Though having said that just because she is verbal and not profound doesn’t make her needs any less in the sense of how they affect her.

How patronizing!

This is very well put. As a society we are going down a very slippery slope labelling too many children far too easily, it also takes away the seriousness of it all.

It goes the opposite way too. People with ADHD for example going on about a messy home and so on like some NT aren't able to keep things tidy either. I think often ND people think NT have no problems and everything comes easy. I get that it's the combination of things and ND is a pathology and barriers are generally higher.

I feel sometimes they talk about a symptom as if it only applies to ND when it doesn't. Like 'my ADHD brain doesn't know when to stop talking'. There are NT like that and it's just an obnoxious trait and doesn't absolve of any responsibility of ones own behaviour.

I consider a normal life when you can work to
some extent and interact socially to get by (ie in a shop situation). I am sorry if your children will never get there.
I spent many years watching people in shops to learn how to interact. I used to write scripts before I went to shops or had to make a phone call, with different versions of what people might say and how I might respond. I am fortunate now in that I was able to get to the stage that I could do these things without the scripts.
I’m not here to score points, I’m simply explaining how I feel. My friend’s brother is an adult in body but not in mind and he never will be. He has severe leaning difficulties that will prevent him ever working or even being able to go into a shop alone.
That’s the level of autism that I feel needs perhaps its own different name.
I don’t mean to offend you.

I struggle with being on time, get easily distracted, sometimes zone out and don’t move for ages because I can’t get myself moving, overthink conversations and crave time alone to decompress. This is extremely common amongst women my age (30/40s) who are trying to juggle young children, demanding jobs and an overuse of phones and screen time. It’s relentless. I notice many many women my age attributing some
of these things to ‘undiagnosed adhd’ and maybe some of them do have it, but I would never assume I’ve got adhd when I’ve managed to hold down a job and get through school and uni with decent qualifications. Yes I struggle sometimes day to day but that’s completely normal. I wouldn’t say I’m a bit adhd because it totally minimises it for people with a genuine diagnosis for whom it has been debilitating their entire lives

People with autism vary as much as people without. I have seen clinical reports that say 'meets some of the criteria for an autism diagnosis'. It isn't like there is a blood test for it.

Don’t you think this is judging neurodivergent people though? The whole point is that they often don’t behave according to expected social norms as they don’t understand social rules as neurotypical people do to a greater or lesser extent… you’re expecting them to conform to an expectation (referring to themselves only through a diagnosis and not through a term that may help them feel connected or less othered).

Don’t you think this is judging neurodivergent people though? The whole point is that they often don’t behave according to expected social norms as they don’t understand social rules as neurotypical people do to a greater or lesser extent… you’re expecting them to conform to an expectation (referring to themselves only through a diagnosis and not through a term that may help them feel connected or less othered).

I think this is gatekeeping tbh
"Oh my diagnosis is real but you're just daytripping"
The trouble is some people need to feel unique and special but nobody is

Yep she was when she accused me of projecting first.