Page 2 | To think ADHD/ASD labels get used too casually sometimes?

CuriousNotCruel · 2025-12-14T14:34:43+00:00

NOT talking about people with genuine diagnoses. But AIBU to think some people casually label basic personality traits - introversion, distractibility, perfectionism, as ADHD/ASD online? It feels dismissive to people with the real conditions.

DontbesorrybeGiles · 14/12/2025 16:38

I’m not sure. I don’t think they are used in the same way as OCD, which is definitely used too casually. But I have ADHD and ASD and I don’t tend to tell people unless I know them really well because I know that there is a perception that people are jumping on the ND bandwagon and attention seeking etc. And I still constantly mask my symptoms as much as I can so even people who know me well are really skeptical.

Itwillnotbe · 14/12/2025 16:40

People who are severely affected by ASD clearly require support. Correct diagnosis requires a full team if professionals, over a period of time, not self made, social media driven parents who use labels as an excuse.

I agree that labels are used too easily. While diagnoses such as ADHD or ASD can sometimes help explain patterns of behaviour, they have increasingly become part of an industry that risks over-labelling normal human variation.
If we truly accept that everyone is unique, then by definition we are all “neurodiverse,” which raises the question of whether the idea of a clear “neurotypical” still holds any real meaning.

A diagnosis does not change the strategies required. Children still need planning, boundaries, consistency, and support tailored to their personalities. A child who dislikes change, struggles to read facial expressions, or thinks literally may have ASD—or may simply have those traits as part of who they are. In practical terms, the response is the same.

Over-reliance on diagnosis can also distract from the importance of parenting that fosters independence, emotional resilience, and problem-solving skills. If every difficulty is explained away by a label, we risk creating individuals who are less equipped to cope, adapt, and develop strategies for themselves. Supporting children should be about building capability and self-understanding, not limiting them with explanations that excuse challenge rather than preparing them for it

mama149 · 14/12/2025 16:44

No, I very rarely see that apart from some overly worried mums with babies/toddlers. But if you're telling me your child has trouble with transitions, meltdowns 3 times a day at 8, has black and white thinking and sensory issues then I'm going to suggest to you that they might be autistic.

No one has a problem with someone suggesting they might be suffering with migraines or covid - even if there's a chance it might actually be flu. I don't find it dismissive to suggest any condition if the symptoms are suggesting it.

I've never seen anyone say they're a bit on the spectrum anyway, I've heard 'a bit OCD' but never with ASD. Actually though I think I'm a bit autistic, my assessor thought I was probably more dyspraxic but I have a relative with a diagnosis of dyspraxic with ASD traits so maybe that fits me too. The assessor was unsure and wanted me to see another assessor but I pulled out because the process was too stressful. DS is also diagnosed ASD/dyspraxic.

Inchworms · 14/12/2025 16:49

As someone in the cohort of having always had a number of fairly clear traits but not seeing the point in a diagnosis now, it’s tricky. I agree with the pp that we’re in an era of increased awareness and that’s a good thing, but I can see how irritating it would be hearing someone go about their ‘neurospiciness’ if you’re dealing with far more difficult to manage traits.

Maybe it’s similar to how many/most people will experience a depressive episode vs long term depressive mental illness. Obvs ‘neurospiciness’ (for want of a better word) isn’t transient in that way, but I guess I think that more awareness will hopefully be positive for everyone.

Givemeachaitealatte · 14/12/2025 16:58

The ADHD is my super power people can get in the bin. I have struggled my entire life with debilitating symptoms and once I was medicated it helped enormously but it isn't a superpower and I wish I didn't have it.

People who genuinely believe they have it are free to self identify given the long waiting lists and lack of support. But the people who claim they are a little neuro spicy and it's their superpower are annoying as hell.

WhatNoRaisins · 14/12/2025 17:02

I wish we could all leave diagnosis to the professionals rather than suggesting it so casually as many people do.

And yes, I'm not a fan of the whole neurospicy thing either.

TigerRag · 14/12/2025 17:08

WhatNoRaisins · 14/12/2025 17:02

I wish we could all leave diagnosis to the professionals rather than suggesting it so casually as many people do.

And yes, I'm not a fan of the whole neurospicy thing either.

Edited

I wouldn't have been diagnosed had someone not suggested it

(He'd known me long enough and has ASD himself. It wasn't some flippant remark because of one thing I said or did)

mama149 · 14/12/2025 17:13

Itwillnotbe · 14/12/2025 16:40

People who are severely affected by ASD clearly require support. Correct diagnosis requires a full team if professionals, over a period of time, not self made, social media driven parents who use labels as an excuse.

I agree that labels are used too easily. While diagnoses such as ADHD or ASD can sometimes help explain patterns of behaviour, they have increasingly become part of an industry that risks over-labelling normal human variation.
If we truly accept that everyone is unique, then by definition we are all “neurodiverse,” which raises the question of whether the idea of a clear “neurotypical” still holds any real meaning.

A diagnosis does not change the strategies required. Children still need planning, boundaries, consistency, and support tailored to their personalities. A child who dislikes change, struggles to read facial expressions, or thinks literally may have ASD—or may simply have those traits as part of who they are. In practical terms, the response is the same.

Over-reliance on diagnosis can also distract from the importance of parenting that fosters independence, emotional resilience, and problem-solving skills. If every difficulty is explained away by a label, we risk creating individuals who are less equipped to cope, adapt, and develop strategies for themselves. Supporting children should be about building capability and self-understanding, not limiting them with explanations that excuse challenge rather than preparing them for it

This is the sort of nonsense I actually hate.

What the fuck 'industry' are you talking about?

When 80% of the population is NT, being NT still holds a very real meaning. That still means though that 1 in 5 children are ND so yes there is a good chance that you will know a few, or even several.

DS is diagnosed autistic and dyspraxic, but don't worry I didn't use it an excuse for parenting - he's currently working as a software engineer. He was actually diagnosed aged 11 in 45 minutes by an NHS paediatrician that specialised in ASD, so no it didn't require a full team of professionals over a period of time.

Honestly you're embarrassing yourself with talking about things you seem to know very little about. Having ASD means that everything is more difficult, it doesn't have to be severe - can you imagine coping in an interview? When you can't work out what is being expected from you, when you take everything literally, when you can't put yourself in the interviewers shoes, when you can't read their facial expressions, when your anxiety is through the roof due to how difficult you find being put on the spot and having to be sociable with people you don't know at all.

Can you imagine coping with a job when you have no idea how to make small talk with your colleagues, when just saying hello to people feels alien, when you struggle to not talk at people or to know when to join or how to leave a conversation. And when even if you do manage to find ways to fake some of these things the mental energy it takes to mask and fit in all day long is absolutely exhausting. These aren't personality traits.

I'll tell you the practical response anyway - the practical response 99% of the time is, I'm sorry you didn't get the job. And as a result of this only about 22% of autistic adults are in any sort of paid work in the UK. DS was extremely fortunate and was offered questions in advance for his position due to his autism in his current job - it's still pretty rare though. He's been there 2 years and absolutely loves it, they are so supportive - but again it's rare.

Seelybe · 14/12/2025 17:14

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Itwillnotbe · 14/12/2025 18:29

Honestly you're embarrassing yourself with talking about things you seem to know very little about. Having ASD means that everything is more difficult, it doesn't have to be severe - can you imagine coping in an interview? When you can't work out what is being expected from you, when you take everything literally, when you can't put yourself in the interviewers shoes, when you can't read their facial expressions, when your anxiety is through the roof due to how difficult you find being put on the spot and having to be sociable with people you don't know at all.

So strategies put in place to support and meet needs. These are the same with or without a diagnosis.
Hard work isn't it, planning ahead, pre-empting, identifying needs trying and practising strategies.

Supporting my child from not even being able to stay in school for 30 seconds without me, to a first class honours degree in linguistics with Japanese…

I think you are embarrassing yourself with your rant. You know nothing about me.

R1nt1nt1n · 14/12/2025 18:36

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Wow and the award for most ableist post goes to..

Autistic traits need to have a significant impact on life to get a diagnosis .

mindutopia · 14/12/2025 18:37

I think for some people it minimises how tough life is. Like everyone I know has been diagnosed with ADHD since COVID. I really don’t think it’s ADHD, because I think it’s normal to struggle to cope with 8 hours a day planted in front of a screen with little actual human interaction except on Teams, to come home sit inside and scroll on TikTok, and then expect your brain to not be frazzled. I look at people around me and it’s clear they are overwhelmed, burnout, exhausted, and drinking too much wine to cope with all of the above.

I think we are doing ourselves a disservice by calling ourselves broken and taking meds to cope when it’s our lifestyles that are breaking us. A lot of people, not all, need less screen time, more fresh air, more fulfilling work, more human interaction, more movement, less cigarettes, alcohol, coke, sleeping tablets, you name it.

R1nt1nt1n · 14/12/2025 18:41

Itwillnotbe · 14/12/2025 16:40

People who are severely affected by ASD clearly require support. Correct diagnosis requires a full team if professionals, over a period of time, not self made, social media driven parents who use labels as an excuse.

I agree that labels are used too easily. While diagnoses such as ADHD or ASD can sometimes help explain patterns of behaviour, they have increasingly become part of an industry that risks over-labelling normal human variation.
If we truly accept that everyone is unique, then by definition we are all “neurodiverse,” which raises the question of whether the idea of a clear “neurotypical” still holds any real meaning.

A diagnosis does not change the strategies required. Children still need planning, boundaries, consistency, and support tailored to their personalities. A child who dislikes change, struggles to read facial expressions, or thinks literally may have ASD—or may simply have those traits as part of who they are. In practical terms, the response is the same.

Over-reliance on diagnosis can also distract from the importance of parenting that fosters independence, emotional resilience, and problem-solving skills. If every difficulty is explained away by a label, we risk creating individuals who are less equipped to cope, adapt, and develop strategies for themselves. Supporting children should be about building capability and self-understanding, not limiting them with explanations that excuse challenge rather than preparing them for it

What utter nonsense and I speak as parent of autistic children and somebody who works with children who have autism.

My dc’s diagnoses were crucial for them to get the medical care and education they need. Explanation was crucial for them.

And as for the “excuse challenge”that’s just appalling.

Itwillnotbe · 14/12/2025 18:48

R1nt1nt1n · 14/12/2025 18:41

What utter nonsense and I speak as parent of autistic children and somebody who works with children who have autism.

My dc’s diagnoses were crucial for them to get the medical care and education they need. Explanation was crucial for them.

And as for the “excuse challenge”that’s just appalling.

Show quote history

Me too! What utter nonsense and I speak as parent of autistic children and somebody who works with children who have autism.

WarriorN · 14/12/2025 18:50

Propagandalf · 14/12/2025 15:27

I agree with you @CuriousNotCruel

I'm affected by synaesthesia and a few people have labelled me as autistic simply because I have synaesthesia. Yes it is a neurological condition but I don't consider myself as ND. I've known that I've had syn for 30 odd years, pre-internet era.

This waving around of ASD / autism / spectrum labels left, right and centre is disrespectful towards genuine cases.

same here. It’s a creative memory sensory thing, not autism

smalldogdancing · 14/12/2025 18:54

sharkstale · 14/12/2025 16:26

Yes, I do now. For years, I've been convinced I'm either adhd or autistic. I finally had my assessment for adhd and was told I do not have it, that the traits I show are from past trauma. It's quite enlightening actually to know that they're not fixed traits within me and I can change them. I now realise that by labelling myself, I was doing myself a disservice and became stuck in a rut believing it's just the way I am.

Edited

@sharkstale interested to hear more about this. I’m on a waiting list for assessment but also had a troubled childhood and wonder if it could just be that. How do they tell the difference?

MILLYmo0se · 14/12/2025 18:56

mindutopia · 14/12/2025 18:37

I think for some people it minimises how tough life is. Like everyone I know has been diagnosed with ADHD since COVID. I really don’t think it’s ADHD, because I think it’s normal to struggle to cope with 8 hours a day planted in front of a screen with little actual human interaction except on Teams, to come home sit inside and scroll on TikTok, and then expect your brain to not be frazzled. I look at people around me and it’s clear they are overwhelmed, burnout, exhausted, and drinking too much wine to cope with all of the above.

I think we are doing ourselves a disservice by calling ourselves broken and taking meds to cope when it’s our lifestyles that are breaking us. A lot of people, not all, need less screen time, more fresh air, more fulfilling work, more human interaction, more movement, less cigarettes, alcohol, coke, sleeping tablets, you name it.

Surely they aren't all being diagnosed on traits that have shown up in their lives only in the last 5 years?

R1nt1nt1n · 14/12/2025 18:58

mindutopia · 14/12/2025 18:37

I think for some people it minimises how tough life is. Like everyone I know has been diagnosed with ADHD since COVID. I really don’t think it’s ADHD, because I think it’s normal to struggle to cope with 8 hours a day planted in front of a screen with little actual human interaction except on Teams, to come home sit inside and scroll on TikTok, and then expect your brain to not be frazzled. I look at people around me and it’s clear they are overwhelmed, burnout, exhausted, and drinking too much wine to cope with all of the above.

I think we are doing ourselves a disservice by calling ourselves broken and taking meds to cope when it’s our lifestyles that are breaking us. A lot of people, not all, need less screen time, more fresh air, more fulfilling work, more human interaction, more movement, less cigarettes, alcohol, coke, sleeping tablets, you name it.

Do you actually know anything about the ADHD process?

For a start you need to prove you’ve struggling from childhood. It isn’t just based on sitting in offices. People from all walks of life have ADHD. I am late diagnosed and I’m rarely on screens throughout the working day. It was clear as day I had it as a child but as experienced by many women and girls I was let down by ignorance and a male skewed diagnosis process .

Bumble2016 · 14/12/2025 19:03

This doesn't irk me as much as people with low needs/ high functioning autism making it seem quirky and cute. ASD is neither.

Gherkintastic · 14/12/2025 19:33

Someone I know well who is middle aged, has a busy full time job with lots of responsibilities and lots of interaction with other people, a busy social life, has always had lots of friends, never had any notable problems in life or in school is now claiming to be autistic. Honestly, if he's autistic, we all are!

R1nt1nt1n · 14/12/2025 19:40

Gherkintastic · 14/12/2025 19:33

Someone I know well who is middle aged, has a busy full time job with lots of responsibilities and lots of interaction with other people, a busy social life, has always had lots of friends, never had any notable problems in life or in school is now claiming to be autistic. Honestly, if he's autistic, we all are!

Wow you’ve been there every step of the way throughout his life!

Loving these amateur not autistic diagnosticians who have no expertise and aren’t in the heads or with people throughout their lives.

Gherkintastic · 14/12/2025 19:45

It renders the diagnosis meaningless, if people with no social communication, sensory issues or any other notable life difficulties are claiming to be autistic.

R1nt1nt1n · 14/12/2025 19:49

Gherkintastic · 14/12/2025 19:45

It renders the diagnosis meaningless, if people with no social communication, sensory issues or any other notable life difficulties are claiming to be autistic.

You have no idea what is going on in people’s lives. I have an NHS autism diagnosis. I hide my sensory difficulties, communication and life difficulties. I don’t jog into work and bore everybody with any of it. I actually want to keep my job. I’m already under employed as are most people with autism.

Pricelessadvice · 14/12/2025 19:52

Neurospicy makes me so angry.

I also think that my level of autism (Asperger’s) shouldn’t really be referred to as Autism. There are some profoundly disabled people with autism- non verbal etc. I feel it’s wrong that me and people like me who are high functioning, are referred to as autistic as I feel it downplays it for people who are profoundly disabled with it.
I have managed to live a normal life, many very autistic people will never be able to.

I think autistic should be a term protected for profoundly autistic people. I actually liked the Asperger’s term, but I believe that’s gone now (I was diagnosed many years ago).

Bonden · 14/12/2025 19:55

Gherkintastic · 14/12/2025 19:45

It renders the diagnosis meaningless, if people with no social communication, sensory issues or any other notable life difficulties are claiming to be autistic.

Dear god. The man may be a bullshitter - or not. You have no idea what it costs him to mask and present like that. What goes on in behind closed doors. I have a late diagnosis of adhd, a successful business behind me, two lovely adult children and a bunch of friends. The actual shitshow that has been my life is not overly visible on the surface. You would doubtless consider me “normal”. You’d be so, so fucking wrong.