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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

1 year old exploring front gardens and Xmas decs decd

279 replies

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 19:16

When we've been out walking recently in our fairly small village, my 22 month old has been wandering into front gardens and having a look around. Especially if they have Christmas decorations up, like reindeer or a Santa.

I say to him not to touch and that it's not our stuff, but beyond carrying him away or putting him in his trike (I'm 8 months pregnant so can't carry him if he refuses to walk so we always bring his trike with us, but I give him the option to walk) there's not much I can do to stop him and I'm not particularly inclined to cause a screaming meltdown over a quick little detour that I personally wouldn't be bothered by. He isn't causing any damage.

YABU - You shouldn't let him go into front gardens at all

YANBU - As long as he doesn't break anything or stay too long it's fine

OP posts:
itsthetea · 13/12/2025 21:31

You can’t control a child who is almost 2 and having a second one? And your defence is taxation ?

look around you, at that phone in your hand, and think how it came about ? And yes taxation and society are essential for that development. A much less advanced piece of tech is called “reins” and you can order reins from Amazon using your phone

KilkennyCats · 13/12/2025 21:31

Meh, another fecking windup thread.

NoisyViewer · 13/12/2025 21:32

If you don’t instil simple boundaries now then you’re in a world of pain tomorrow. Goodluck you reap what you sow a

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 13/12/2025 21:33

I have had 3 strong willed toddlers and wouldn’t be letting them wander into other people's gardens like that mostly for their own safety: electronics for the decorations, pets and pet shit, cars backing out of drives (or driving in) and not seeing him in time. There’s things that can go wrong so quickly.

Topseyt123 · 13/12/2025 21:33

How on earth can you possibly think that it is OK to let your child trespass over other people's front gardens? Why do you even have to ask?

You should be parenting him and teaching him that he shouldn't do that, that he must stay off them and keep to the footpath. How will he learn that otherwise? Of course you can stop him. Grab hold of his hand and make him walk with you. If he won't then propel him straight home, holding his hand to make it happen. Put reins on him. Reins are fab.

If he doesn't like it and kicks off then so what!? Ignore the tantrum and make him do as he is told. He has to learn that he cannot always do exactly as he pleases and will often have to do things he doesn't particularly want to do.

Learning not to trespass on other people's private property definitely comes into this category. An important lesson and one that you must start teaching him.

Original poster
FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

OP posts:
Melancholyflower · 13/12/2025 21:35

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

I'm prepared to pay my share of taxes, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't mind if someone nicked my purse -they are not the same.

BartholemewTheCat · 13/12/2025 21:36

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

Haha, you wanker. Libertarian indeed. Are you a freeman of the land too? 😂

KilkennyCats · 13/12/2025 21:37

Seriously, op, just stop.
Nobody wants your toddler in their garden, just accept that he will not be welcome everywhere and parent him properly.
All this property is theft baloney is making you look a right pillock.

MonGrainDeSel · 13/12/2025 21:38

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

YABVVVU and also nuts. Please stop.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 13/12/2025 21:38

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:26

I am also extremely relieved to see that everyone is so vehement about not violating private property, as clearly this should translate into being appalled at taxation, which is just theft and violation of private property by the government. If you cannot see the parallel then I can recommend reading this: https://www.libertarianism.org/columns/is-taxation-theft

Well that took a spectactular swerve!

Taxation isn't theft you plonker.

Pricelessadvice · 13/12/2025 21:39

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

Edited

Oh give it a rest.

XenoBitch · 13/12/2025 21:39

YABU front gardens are private property. If not letting him wander into them is going to cause a meltdown then that is something you need to manage.

Amba1998 · 13/12/2025 21:40

Presumably you would stop him from running into a road of oncoming cars so I don’t buy the “there’s not much I can do”

JustPeter · 13/12/2025 21:42

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

Edited

What the wet blanket crap fest are you talking about? Sure go stomp on people's flower beds with your toddler and pop a leaflet through their front door explaining that it's absolutely all ok because "taxation exists" and no one needs to teach their kids right from wrong anymore anyway.

BMW6 · 13/12/2025 21:42

Oh no my pompous twat alert has gone off

🙄just for you OP

bumptybum · 13/12/2025 21:42

You make no sense. If you can stop him wandering into traffic you can stop him wandering into people’s gardens.

if you honestly can’t stop him wandering into gardens then you won’t be able to stop him wandering into the path of a car. Your child isn’t safe with you

Okiedokie123 · 13/12/2025 21:43

@FamilyofTrees what are you on about??

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 13/12/2025 21:43

FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 21:33

Additionally, I am extremely interested to know whether people think that uninvited leaflets through the door (ie. Someone has walked through your private property and posted something through your letterbox) or unsolicited knocks on the door are also bad? If all my son and I did was wander up the path, touch the front door and leave, would this also be considered trespassing and bad parenting? What if we happened to put a leaflet through the door while doing it?!

I am a believer of the parenting strategy of only saying no if you are willing to enforce the boundary swiftly and completely and there are plenty of boundaries I enforce in this way. I was unsure on the general opinion for this type of toddler behaviour so I asked in order to confirm for myself if this should be a firm boundary (like not going in the road). It appears you all think it should be, which is helpful feedback.

Edited

Just parent your kid and stop being a tit.

KilkennyCats · 13/12/2025 21:45

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 13/12/2025 21:43

Just parent your kid and stop being a tit.

Show quote history

This is the only response you really need to read, op…
Love it 😁

blythet · 13/12/2025 21:49

personally i wouldn’t mind a toddler wandering into my front garden to look at decorations but I know some people would as a mum i wouldn’t let my own toddler do it.

also I have quite a large dog who is the most loving gentle dog but is very protective of her own house. She loves kids but if she seen anyone wander into our garden she’s likely to bark very loudly through the window and is likely to give a toddler the fright of their life! And no doubt the dog would be in the wrong

StephensLass1977 · 13/12/2025 21:55

Omg no, sorry but I can't stand parents like you. I've had a lifetime of this. Kids wandering into my garden. I've had so many arguments with parents over this when the child inevitable starts pulling stuff out of my garden or breaking something. This has happened to me in three different houses now. It doesn't help that modern new builds tend not to be gated, but it's on YOU to keep your child under control. Had a gutful of this!

PigletJohn · 13/12/2025 21:59

@FamilyofTrees

You are making brave attempts to find excuses and diversions. It isn't working.

NemoSaltatSobrius · 13/12/2025 21:59

This brings to mind that truly beautiful scene in Line of Duty

"Now stop making a tit of yourself and piss off" Grin

I'm sure it can be found online somewhere.

Original poster
FamilyofTrees · 13/12/2025 22:00

StephensLass1977 · 13/12/2025 21:55

Omg no, sorry but I can't stand parents like you. I've had a lifetime of this. Kids wandering into my garden. I've had so many arguments with parents over this when the child inevitable starts pulling stuff out of my garden or breaking something. This has happened to me in three different houses now. It doesn't help that modern new builds tend not to be gated, but it's on YOU to keep your child under control. Had a gutful of this!

I'm sorry that you've had such bad experiences over the years and that by the sounds of it the parents didn't pay for the damages. I agree it's on me to keep my child under control. I never said that he was out of control or breaking stuff.

OP posts: