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Original poster

My DH was gifted a scarf by a female colleague

53 replies

Wer78 · 13/12/2025 18:06

Hear me out.
My DH said he lost his scarf on the tube while texting his work colleague. He missed his stop and forgot his favourite scarf. He told his colleague I had lost my favourite scarf while texting you work-wise, so you should get me a new one. He said she felt bad and got him a new one. Is this all a bit weird?!

OP posts:
Daytimenighttime · 13/12/2025 18:12

Why was he texting this woman while he was on the tube?
Surely that must have been outwith working hours.
Do they text each other a lot?

Poms · 13/12/2025 18:13

Your DH is way out of order.

Crazybigtoe · 13/12/2025 18:16

Depends a lot on relationship... If just banter, and gift or she felt like she had to give it as he is senior / influential etc

If I was you, I wouldn't be worried about your relationship - unless other signs.

ginasevern · 13/12/2025 18:22

So he told her to get him a new one? Sorry if I've misread that. If he said he'd lost the scarf and she bought him a new one that's a pretty familiar thing to do. What do you know about this particular colleague OP?

BeautifulSongsofLove · 13/12/2025 18:38

YANBU, it's not banter & if he's senior to her, it's a weird work dynamic

Izzywizzy85 · 13/12/2025 18:39

Not enough context here to decide really. Obviously you feel uncomfortable enough to post here though?

themerchentofvenus · 13/12/2025 18:43

It's called having a good working relationship.

He missed his stop as he was on his phone WORKING, then managed to leave his scarf on the tube. He no doubt joked to his work colleague that she owed him a new scarf, but she actually played along with the joke and bought him one.

It's the sort of thing I would have done as a nice gesture. I don't find it weird at all.

Original poster
Wer78 · 13/12/2025 18:49

He's not senior to her. They are peers.
It's an expensive cashmere scarf.
He said it’s all a joke, but it feels weird seeing him wearing it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wer78 · 13/12/2025 18:50

Daytimenighttime · 13/12/2025 18:12

Why was he texting this woman while he was on the tube?
Surely that must have been outwith working hours.
Do they text each other a lot?

I don't know. They work closely. Good colleagues.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wer78 · 13/12/2025 18:51

Izzywizzy85 · 13/12/2025 18:39

Not enough context here to decide really. Obviously you feel uncomfortable enough to post here though?

It's just odd. It’s not a cheap gift.

OP posts:
theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 13/12/2025 18:52

I don't think it's weird if they're friends or just friendly colleagues it's just a gift.

I might easily do that, or someone do it for me.

If you have reason to think something is going on, I'm assuming it's not just about this

BDenergy · 13/12/2025 18:52

Daytimenighttime · 13/12/2025 18:12

Why was he texting this woman while he was on the tube?
Surely that must have been outwith working hours.
Do they text each other a lot?

Colleagues are allowed to message each other.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 13/12/2025 18:53

Wer78 · 13/12/2025 18:51

It's just odd. It’s not a cheap gift.

Show quote history

How much is it really though

There are lots of cashmere scarfs in the pre Christmas sales

BDenergy · 13/12/2025 18:54

Without any other concerns then it seems fine I guess. Maybe she really thought he blamed her, that’s the weird bit.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/12/2025 18:55

Wer78 · 13/12/2025 18:51

It's just odd. It’s not a cheap gift.

Show quote history

That scarf would go missing too...

Arlanymor · 13/12/2025 18:56

Which bit do you think is weird @Wer78 - the texting or the fact that she bought him a scarf off the back of him making her feel guilty? I wouldn't care about the former, but I would about the latter. He's responsible for his own possessions. Even if he said it in a jokey way, she obvious feels bad enough to replace it.

TheSlantedOwl · 13/12/2025 18:57

This is too intimate. YANBU.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 13/12/2025 18:57

Agree, more context needed

A scarf is a typical secret santa gift

But the texting his colleague thing rings alarm bells

BillieWiper · 13/12/2025 18:59

Why did he tell her to buy him a new one? He shouldn't have accepted it. It doesn't mean they're rampantly shagging but he's taking advantage of someone's good nature.

PearlsofHelp · 13/12/2025 18:59

It feels like flirty banter to me. I wouldn’t be happy about it.

Texting and making the joke, fine, but for her to actually buy it makes it way too intimate IMHO.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 13/12/2025 19:01

He wanted her to see that he's so into her, he forgets his scarf.

He wanted to see if she's so into him, she'll buy him a scarf.

Now he has achieved both aims, he will want to see how much further this could go

LilyLemonade · 13/12/2025 19:03

What is weird is him guilt-tripping someone else into buying a replacement for something he lost. That is not nice.
In addition, yes it sounds as though he is flirting with her.
I wouldn't find it OK.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 13/12/2025 19:05

CinnamonJellyBeans · 13/12/2025 19:01

He wanted her to see that he's so into her, he forgets his scarf.

He wanted to see if she's so into him, she'll buy him a scarf.

Now he has achieved both aims, he will want to see how much further this could go

Or, he just left his scarf and happened to be text chatting with a colleague he's friendly with and mentioned in a fun way, and she bought him a scarf, as a fun C'mas present

Honestly, sometimes people on here need to get out more. Work is dull if you don't make friends with colleagues, it doesn't mean it's a sexual tension fest

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/12/2025 19:09

I’m normally very chilled about workplace friendships between men and women but this did trigger spidey senses.

It does feel quite intimate and like there’s some banter and a back story.

Do you know this colleague?

PevenseygirlQQ · 13/12/2025 19:13

Colleagues are allowed to be friends, if it was dodgy why would he even tell you she bought it for him? You’re reading too much into it, unless there is more you are suspicious of?

I could never find a particular snack I wanted for months, a work colleague found them in a random petrol station and bough me loads, just because it was a really nice thing to do.