My DH was gifted a scarf by a female colleague

[Wer78]

Hear me out.
My DH said he lost his scarf on the tube while texting his work colleague. He missed his stop and forgot his favourite scarf. He told his colleague I had lost my favourite scarf while texting you work-wise, so you should get me a new one. He said she felt bad and got him a new one. Is this all a bit weird?!

Messaging a woman colleague outside working hours who is intimate enough with him to buy him what would appear to be an expensive Christmas gift implies something over and above a working relationship.

I think you have made a lot of assumptions there.

If we are talking about likely scenarios my money is on the woman buying him the scarf as a Christmas gift and he made up the unlikely tale of him telling her to buy him one to replace the scarf she made him lose so he could fool OP.

why cant you text work colleague while on the tube? Surely it's better than texting when you are in the bath? 😂

Aside from lack of signal, surely tube is the time when you text and email everybody to pass the time?

🤯

Do you lot not.. have friends at work? Occasionally have fun at work?? The odd laugh???

Or do you all wear sackcloth and ashes and never speak?

Yes, it implies a friendship.

It’s not a gift though. He told her to replace it so she has.

Intimate? It's a scarf, not a cock ring! I bought my mother in law a scarf last Christmas. I didn't realize it implied I wanted a lesbian relationship with her.

Sorry what has my situation got to do with this?

OP started the thread because she is uncomfortable with her DH being given an expensive personal gift by a woman colleague that he works closely with.

Work relationships developing into something inappropriate is a well trodden path.

And the scenario of this woman buying a personal gift for her married colleague " for a joke" doesn't ring true. She would surely understand that his wife would not appreciate a "joke" of that nature as implies how close their relationship is.

people here do thier best to fuck up couples lives

It is a bit odd, but I think you’re seeing it as if she is the weird one when actually it’s your dh…

The scenario of this woman buying a personal gift for her married colleague " for a joke" doesn't ring true.

Does for me.

A scarf is not very personal.

TK Maxx sell cheap cashmere.

Tbh is the kind of thing I would ha e brought for him as colleague if he had said that to me as id feel bad

Tbh is the kind of thing I would ha e brought for him as colleague if he had said that to me as id feel bad

Since when is a scarf intimate 😂😂

I think your reading to much info this OP - unless you have other concerns I wouldn't think much of it

This was my first thought too. I think the story of losing the scarf whilst texting her is BS.

It's from COS. I looked online - it’s £95.

I think for a man a scarf is much more personal than for a woman.

A woman is very likely to have multiple scarves to match different outfits.

A man, in my experience, would not have multiple scarves.

For her to buy the scarf for him means she must have been studying his clothes, his style, his preferences , his appearance. I.e have taken an interest in him personally as a wife, or girlfriend, or relative would do. Not as you would expect colleagues to do unless they had a very close intimate relationship.

Why on earth would you feel bad about it? Good grief!

I don't think it's weird in the sense that I wouldn't assume there's anything more to it. I do think it's kinda weird that your DH told her to buy him a new one - it's not her fault he left it behind. Even if said in a jokey way, it clearly made her feel guilty.

I think probably what happened is, she has bought him a scarf for Xmas…he felt he couldn’t just tell you that because it is weird/over familiar/would start you questioning what was going on so he created an elaborate back story with lots of detail to ‘explain’ why he suddenly has a new scarf and where it came from. Depending on length of journey…Who would bother taking their scarf off on the tube and also who texts on the tube when they know there is no signal?

You're not kidding.

Also it's really odd that so many posters don't recognise that some people's jobs involve working and necessarily communicating with colleagues outside office hours. Most of my professional friends work well behind office hours. Messaging/emailing during one's commute isn't strange at all in many jobs.

There’s a signal on quite a few parts of the tube.

I’m 50-50 on this. Colleagues make jokes, but a £95 gift is significant unless your DH and his colleague are both very well paid.

His text to her was a bit weird, might be suspicious if he’s said or done other things to make you suspicious. Is there anything else suspicious about their relationship or is this the first thing?

It’s a bit of an expensive gift and as a wife I’d feel a bit uncomfortable about it.

But on the flip side if a colleague joked with me that he’d lost his scarf having to help me with some work thing I’d probably feel bad a buy a new one without thinking how his DW might feel about it. I have lots of feelings of guilt in general!!