Public toilets! Wait for the ladies

[Burntt]

Taken my dd to a London show. Timing is terrible as I’m on my heavy period day and bleeding through super plus tampons every hour or so. I am amazed at how long the lines are at all the toilets! Is this normal now for big cities? 15-20 mins wait at the station twice and something like 10 mins in a McDonald’s. Theatre I was expecting to be bad but everywhere? I don’t get out much these last few years as I’m carer for my disabled child and when we go anywhere we can use disability toilets. Stood here with my radar key looking at the unused disabled toilet trying to distract myself. Of course if the men are waiting is a couple minutes only those lines don’t extend out the door and down the corridors. How are women putting up with this?!

I never understand what people are doing for so long. You can see people going in but they are still in the cubicle 10 minutes later while you are in the queue. Sometimes even in a 20 minute queue you never see see some people come out again or at all if the cubicle was closed when you first arrived. Even having a poo and changing sanpro doesn’t take that long. Are they going for naps?

I suspect that a lot of people are sitting in the toilet looking at their phone. I agree that queues for women's toilets are often ridiculously long. When I went to a concert at the Royal Albert Hall a couple of years ago,the queue for the ladies toilet in the interval was awful. I only just made it back in time for the second half. I only discovered afterwards that's if I had gone down a floor,there was another toilet that hardly anyone was using!

Are they going for naps? Made me laugh!

I’ve never understood it either. I’m in and out! I really don’t want to spend too long in public toilet.

I don't think men can be blamed for pissing proficiently, not even on Mumsnet 👀🤣

I have no idea why so many women fanny about in the cubicles and what they're even doing in there.

I’ve got IBD, unfortunately I could perhaps be one of those 10 minute people if it’s mid flare up!

Normally it’s in and out within a couple of minutes for a wee! Queues are always so long, not enough cubicles and too many people needing to use them. Our local cinema has 12 screens, the ladies has 8 cubicles. How on earth did they think that would manage the pre and post show time rush?! Last week it was 50+ people queueing for the ladies when several films finished at the same time.

We need a thread to get to the bottom of this (pun intended). I want to hear from all the women who are cubicle-cuties and ask them what the hell they're up to in there.

That’s not everyone though and seriously it’s like narnia, they go through the door and disappear. You’ll never see them again for the rest of the time you are waiting. Also you hear a flush but nobody comes out?

I wonder what they're doing too. When queueing for a busy toilet, I make it a matter of pride to be in and out before the person behind me in the queue has gone in. (Cubicles without sinks, that is.)

I think part of it is that women often take children with them so there might be three people in a cubicle but it doesn’t solve the whole mystery!

I rarely see that at the places I go to so it doesn’t explain it that much.

I agree that in general people do seem to take ages in the ladies loo. But you're also in central London on the Saturday a fortnight before Christmas, so everywhere is rammed.

You've got a radar key. The disabled toilet is empty. You're having a flooding emergency. Come on now, use the (bloody) key!

I have ranted about this for years.

I do appreciate that there are exceptions such as period/bowel issues but surely these ARE exceptions and not the norm. I don't understand what takes so long. It's not like public toilets are a place you want to linger and soak up the atmosphere. It's doubly annoying at a gig or theatre when you just want to get back to it and assume everyone else wants to as well!

Exactly!

I can tell you what takes me so long.

Usually I just have a wee and get out.

But there are times (usually before I am doing a running race/parkrun, so not in a theatre) when I need to make sure I won't need to go mid-run. So I sit there to try to empty myself out. What I tend to do if there's a queue is go, rejoin the queue and then go again!

@StaySpicy Me too.
But I also use my RADAR without impunity because if I'm having a flare, I can be there for 10+ minutes (and can't wait 10 seconds)
Despite the "not every disability is visible" signage, still get the stink eye. I also have a very handy "Can't Wait" card which I use if getting abuse, still get a lot of shouting, judging and swearing. (When I had stomas I used to wonder what would happen if I just chucked it at them... obviously didn't)

From speaking to other women about this, it's the following:

• taking a wee as an older woman takes ages. It comes out in a dribble - even if you're bursting.
• struggling to change a tampon in a confined space.
• having to change bladder leak knickers.
• trying to evacuate your bowels with a rectocele.
• changing clothes /underwear after leaks.
• checking the pet camera on your phone.
• doing your make-up.
• Eating a snack.
• Gathering yourself during an anxiety attack.

Yes, I was surprised too!

I think a lot of people start taking their coats off (why?), wiping the seat, laying toilet paper on the seat. Then getting their coat back on and generally faffing. I, like another poster, make it a point of pride to be speedy (if just going in for a wee - having IBS, I have also been the one in the cubicle for ages so I can sympathise but I don't think that many people can all be having an IBS attack at the same time!)

Is this normal now for big cities?

Always seems much worse in London than other cities we've been to - no idea why - though theaters are always bad eveyone at same time in intervals.

When we were at a London shopping center I think part of the reason seemed to be young girls on phones - not sure why.

This is a massive bugbear of mine. There should be parity of places to pee, not parity of space. Men should have the same number of cubicles and urinals put together as women have cubicles. Anything else isn't parity. I think it's a significant part of the difference. Another part is that women are more likely to take their young children so I always make DP take at least one of our DC with him.

Eating a snack 🤢

Stuggling to change a tampon in a confined space 🫤 - i don't understand this one. I change a tampon whilst sat on the loo - pull it out & put a new one in - in literally same position as when i wee, it takes seconds. Doesn't everyone do it like that? What do you need more space for??

100% would be using radar key - I have one for me anyway due to bladder and gyane issues!

I can’t bear it when women take ages in the loo, it’s beyond frustrating! I’m a quick pee and out type but I do have urgency and need to pee all the time so I do find the lack of facilities difficult.

My top tip is Wetherspoons! They are everywhere and generally have fabulous loo’s. We went to the one in Paddington basin last week and there were probably at least 10 loo’s and only me in there!

We went to a coffee shop near Covent Garden and there were 5 people waiting for one unisex loo when one woman came out after a lot more than 5 minutes! I was waiting to join the queue hence my toilet monitoring but in the end I gave up and we had to rush back to our hotel!

People like my mil will spend an age delicately placing toilet roll on the seat then hover over it to do a wee because apparently you can get infection from toilet seats!

You're more likely to get an infection from your own hands! How, exactly, is the toilet seat transferring bacteria to your vulva - what are these women doing??