Public toilets! Wait for the ladies

[Burntt]

Taken my dd to a London show. Timing is terrible as I’m on my heavy period day and bleeding through super plus tampons every hour or so. I am amazed at how long the lines are at all the toilets! Is this normal now for big cities? 15-20 mins wait at the station twice and something like 10 mins in a McDonald’s. Theatre I was expecting to be bad but everywhere? I don’t get out much these last few years as I’m carer for my disabled child and when we go anywhere we can use disability toilets. Stood here with my radar key looking at the unused disabled toilet trying to distract myself. Of course if the men are waiting is a couple minutes only those lines don’t extend out the door and down the corridors. How are women putting up with this?!

This reminds me of the 'heist' in the early 90's where 2 ladies in their 70's spent 3 months visiting a department store toilet which was next to a bank. They buried through a wall bit by bit flushing the brickwork down the toilet and used a poster to cover their work. They stole over 50 million pounds

@MuffsiesYou do realise a lot of people have disabilities and deformities, don’t you?! I have Parkinson’s and absolutely cannot do it whilst I’m sat on the toilet but to look at me, you’d think I was ‘normal’ like everyone else. Just another mum.

My mother taught my sister and I to hover over a toilet seat when we were little so I have never sat on a public toilet seat!

@Muffsies women are different shapes. If you are heavy of thigh, you need more room to separate your legs. I suspect from where the gusset is in pants and swimsuits, that people can be anatomically very different. I have a really long ‘rise’ as it’s called in trousers. Pants don’t fit the way I feel they should. So I deduce we come in different layouts!

Some will be vaping.

I have a Radar key as I’ve a disability but often I choose to use the ladies anyway as the disabled toilets are often left in a very unpleasant state. Anyway, in addition to my disability I also have IBD and yes, 10 mins is a good day and no, we cannot plan to be at home for it or predict a time frame even, it just happens when it happens and the panic is real! Another reason why I don’t often use the disabled is because I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve had people banging on the door to hurry up, and/or they get a staff member to open the door after I’ve been in there less than 3/4 minutes, under the guise of being “concerned for my welfare” when really they just wanted me to be hurried up! It’s even happened at the swimming baths when DD & I were both naked and showering in the disabled changing room (which always has its own shower) after being in there just 2 mins! Door wide open with leering men walking past.
So yeah, some of us are disabled and just need to be left alone! We don’t want to be there any more than you want us taking up that cubicle!

My late dad had a lighthearted theory that there are couch companies who were chartered to deliver 50 little old ladies to motorway services to use the loos ahead of our arrival.
He was the only male in the family and he always had to wait for the 4 females in the family to come back out of the loos.

They're on their phones checking MN

Same goes for cash machines. Almost everyone who’s ever been in front of me at a cash machine is there for ages and then I’m about 30 seconds. I don’t get it 😂

Could it be because there are more people in London than most places?

Pissing proficiently? More like pissing everywhere from the smell coming from most men's toilets.

Yeah maybe that's why they're much quicker than us as a rule 🤮🤣

Yes, it’s been the same whenever I’ve gone to a large show - not enough toilets for the ladies, and eventually they stop working (or get utterly filthy) making the problem even worse. Just grim 😬

Some ablutions take longer than others but yes I agree the queue for the ladies is horrendous in some places like airports/pubs/public toilets/concerts.

I'm generally a quick wee and out person but have also been in situations of (on a session) sharing a toilet and natter, mate rolling a spliff, being sick, mate asleep on loo. These days some are messaging and calling on phones as well.

It's a classic example of design inequality. Men take less time because they stand to wee and use urinals, but women's toilets are planned to take up the same amount of space as men's.

https://medium.com/@sepideghate/gender-bias-in-public-bathroom-designs-c72d2a38660c

But don’t you wee on the seat if you do this?

I'd assume so - but I'm bemused why they haven't responded with more public toilets to reflect that.

Plus other cities we travel to are busy and OP was asking if it was all cities and London is noticeably worse IME and has been for a while.

If I’m wearing a winter coat that’s long I take it off. I worry when I sit down it will touch something unsavoury 🤣
however it takes me 3 seconds to get it off and around 4 to put it back on 😀

Yeah i get what you mean. I think that each venue doesn’t have more floor space tho just because it’s in a busier city so I guess they would have to sacrifice tables etc for more toilets but they’re all about the money aren’t they so wouldn’t do that. To be honest, I live in London and have been out in many cities but haven’t noticed a difference in queing (apart from men’s versus women’s toilets) . Maybe I’m too drunk to notice 😂

One in fourish younger women are going to be on their periods, and probably needing a wee as well. Depending what product they use that might be a faff (wiping out a mooncup in a public toilet is not fun). Many others may also be wearing panty liners or pads that need changing. More women than men are going to have various issues that mean they need to take longer - UTIs much more prevalent, birthing injures affecting how they use the toilet etc.Shy bladder/bowel seems to be an issue for a number of my female friends! I’m sure some people are just taking the piss but women actually do need more toilets than men, we do have more necessary tasks to do in there than they do!

I'm usually in and out quite quick.

But I think its mainly the fact that some things take longer
E.g. changing pad/ tampon.

Men's usually have more places to wee- cubicles + urine also there are always more then the total number of cubicles in the women's.

Also women usually have the kids as well as boys up to.prob age 12 at least.

Exactly this!! The frustration shouldn't be with women taking too long - it should be with the architects who allocate equal space to mens and women's toilets, which often results in the same size space having 4 cubicles for women, and 2 cubicles plus 4 urinals for men. Therefore 4 places for women to pee and 6 places for men! Coupled with the fact that it is much quicker for men to relieve themselves in a urinal than it is for women to use an undersized cubicle - having to navigate removing a coat without it touching the toilet, try and hang a bag on a hook that is probably falling off the door, make sure there is toilet paper and that you can sit on the toilet without half sitting on the bin. I don't think anyone is deliberately faffing in a stinking public toilet, it just takes longer, particularly in winter when big coats are involved! It drives me absolutely nuts. When I go out with my husband I always ask him how many toilets there were in the men's as you can guarantee there will be more than there are in women's (yes I am sad and he laughs at me but he totally gets the problem so dutifully reports back 🤣). I think there needs to be a petition for building control to improve minimum toilet requirements and cubicle sizes!

There should be double the number of (cubicles for women) compared to (cubicles+urinals) for men.

It's usually the other way round.

I went to a public sporting event in Hungary once and the queue for the men's was massive; the queue for the women's was normal size. I joined the toilet queue at the same time as my husband and we actually both emerged at the same time! So I figured they must have had the ratio of men's to women's toilets perfect!

Of course i realise this. It just doesn't account for why the queue is all the way out of the door in so many places. Surely it's not all down to people with conditions and disabilities? I think it's more likely due phone scrollers and toilet seat preppers and general ditherers - which are the bain of every supermarket too. But of course some people will be dealing with IBS and stomas, etc, I know that.