What age do you stop buying grandchildren

[Maggie2408]

For years I have bought Christmas and birthday gifts for grandchildren spending a £100 on each gift. Grandchildren are now in 20’s have never ever received a birthday or Christmas card from them . We want to cut back what we give, what would be acceptable ? Thank you

I'm 44 and my grandparents still buy for me! I buy for them also. We keep it extremely modest - under £10. I'm particularly pleased with what I've found this year and think they'll be pleased. I feel very fortunate that at my age I get to spend Christmas with my grandparents.

I didn't realise we could buy grandchildren. Who's selling theirs?

I wouldn't stop buying them gifts or giving them money though. I'd find it a bit mean to start then stop at any age.

Have you never spoken to your children as to why their children don’t send you a Christmas or birthday card? I take it you never get a visit either?

Meaner than never sending a Christmas or birthday card to your grandparents?

My Nan stopped sending money to a cousin of mine as she had never received an acknowledgment or thank you for years.

We always stop sending cards and stuff once both people are adults. I know others have a different view but for us cards and presents are for the children.

My GP are all long gone now but I’d have no idea when their birthday’s were. It just wasn’t a thing in our family to make a big thing of adult birthdays.

That’s strange, then. We always made gifts for the grandparents (sometimes at school) when we were little, just simple things, wrote a card, etc. As we grew older we’d stick to cards, include photos & letters.

And my own DC were encouraged to do the same (with my help).

I wonder why your adult DC haven’t ever thought about this.

Sending a card isn’t making a big thing out of a birthday. It’s a bare minimum.

Maybe for you, not for us.

I just don’t see the point of it. Why does an adult need another adult to acknowledge the anniversary of their birth? Why would either party care either way?

I think never, but you need to address the imbalance a bit now they’re adults. Spending £100 on each and not even getting a card in return isn’t on. I’d cut back to £20 per grandchild if they’re not buying you presents. My DCs are very young but I always make sure they have a gift to give their grandparents.

My nan gives me christmas gifts but she stopped birthdays when I was around 18. She'd put a tenner in my card though but that has stopped this year, I'm 27 now

I'm always buying grandchildren.

Mine are 21-30 and I’m still buying for them. Each to their own though.

DH’s grandma bought him, me and our kids presents until she died a few years ago and DH was in his mid forties. But then we always bought her a present too and usually saw her on Christmas Day to exchange the presents and we definitely sent her a card through the post. It doesn’t need to be £100 per grandchild though. That does seem excessive for adult grandchildren to me. Especially ones who don’t exchange gifts back.

Just never.

£100 each for GC is a lot, I’d cut down to £20 or just a card, I don’t have GC but I can’t imagine still sending that amount forever.

In a way, yes because I always believe the parents/grandparents should be more giving/forgiving than the children/granchildren.

That said, if your grandparents send you christmas and birthday gifts/cards, it IS mean to not send them cards at least, as well.

I wish 😂😂😂😂

I have a houseful. I find it too upsetting to sell them on. I might start a thread in house keeping 'decluttering grandchildren' how to choose which to let go first.

Way to bring up spoilt brats but you do you I suppose.

spend what you can afford
£25 seems reasonable
how terrible they buy nothing for you though

A small way to bring joy to another person.

We are pretty much the only people we know who still send postcards. But several of the people who’ve received them have told us how much they love getting them.

Still, not sure why any of us really care, right?

18, or when they finish full-time education (if they go to university).

That is a lot to spend on ungrateful DGC.
£20 coffee voucher for one of the popular stores.
The bloody cheek of them not sending a Christmas card.

Grandchildren in their 20s have capacity to develop their own relationships. However, they (we were all) still entitled dingbats at that age.

I’d stop the presents. Continue with cards. It lets them begin to take a role in the exchange.

I think it can feel humiliating trying to force a relationship just because its a seeming norm, even between parents and children.

I always advocate the light touch.