I can bury him under the patio for this, right?

[Changingplace]

‘D’H is currently munching a bag of crisps and he’s poured the bag out onto the cushion on the sofa and is eating them off it.

I can kill him can’t I? Vile human being.

I can also hear every crunch and lip smack and he also just started playing out some shite on his phone even though the tv is on.

If you need an alibi shout 🤣

Trevor Jordache the swine……but make sure he’s thoroughly hoovered the couch free of any crisps crumbs before you do!

Yes do it soon and get him under the patio. As suggested by others you can say you were planting your spring bulbs if anyone asks.

divorce deport abort do whatever it takes to end this now.

I live near a pig farm if your up for a visit

Perhaps not patio now you've put it on MN. Any large body of water near you? I hear weights tied to the feet are quite effective.

I shall give you the benefit of the doubt and say to you I like your good sarcasm!

Very lucky that, thank you 😁

Better still, bury him under Japanese Knotweed 🤣

I guess I can never move anyway, could plant some 😂

le sigh, I’ve just sat down but I’ll fetch my spade…

Shove him under some leaf mould and a couple of gro bags then get some rare orchids growing and a couple of dormice. Busybodies can't disturb it.
Worked for me.
Always had a soft spot for MIL.

Do you need a shovel? An alibi? A helping hand?

I’m on my way with a shovel to help dig.

I like your no dig solution.

YABU for marrying someone under the mental age of 6

Not under the patio, no. Too obvious.

However, the UK still has vast swathes of wilderness where things can disappear.

that is gross

Are you shaking AND crying though? Otherwise it doesn't count on mn.

Ah yes, the unfinished "pond". I have one of those 👀

😂 I have a shovel and an alibi @Changingplace

😱

😆