I wouldn’t have been at home but DS and I are ill. They would have known someone was in as my car is in the drive and lights are on but they didn’t knock or come in. I went to the driveway and called out for them when I saw their car but they were already round the back. I thought they’d come round to say hi, but they just stayed in the garden, so I went round to them. MIL said hello, but didn’t say what she was doing, so I asked what was going on. MIL said they’d promised 7yo DD lights for our garden 3 years ago and so now they’re doing it. FIL did seem a bit sheepish, but MIL just told me I looked shocked.
I don’t mind them putting lights up. I mind them not asking, even saying we’d love to put some lights up for DD, I would have said yes, thank you. It feels controlling. Obviously this comes with a history of incidents where I’m left feeling undermined or manipulated. I’d like to talk to them about just asking first. I think MIL didn’t want to ask in case we said no. I have tried to imagine how I’d feel if my parents had done this, but it’s hard to imagine as I know they wouldn’t just start doing things around my house without asking. I think I’d feel just the same though.
I messaged DH to ask if he knew and instead of replying to me, instantly went to the group chat with the four of us and told them to stop putting up lights. This isn’t really the way I’d have handled it, but I suppose I can’t complain because I told him what was going on and made it clear I was unhappy.