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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More about school absence - what is lawful?

108 replies

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:19

I’ve had my arse handed to me over the attendance of my children as according to school records it’s nearing 80%. They have said that without GP letters they won’t authorise any further absences. Both of my children have had minor surgery and then follow up appointments and as the hospital that they’re under are nowhere near school, if the appointment is in the middle of the day they’re missing a whole day, which whilst not ideal is unavoidable.

The tone of the emails has been awful, and I’ve replied saying I’m committed to their attendance and education. But frankly I’m losing patience - why does it even matter how they choose to record it? I’d much rather they were in school but I also won’t send them if they’re genuinely unwell, or drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 10/12/2025 23:35

It would be helpful to do this when you can: drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:47

If I could, I would. Maybe it’s the tone of the communications, such as suggesting that appointments are made outside school hours. No shit! Sometimes it can’t be helped!

OP posts:
ReadingTeaLeaves · 10/12/2025 23:51

Can you ask to speak to one of the leadership team about the situation - a head of year as a minimum? In my experience (ex governor) they have to be very careful about data as it can impact ofsted ratings. However, where they have very clear and documented reasons it can be (not in all cases and this is a caveated comment) referenced when ofsted come calling which may help them justify their data being not where it should be. If you can outline in a documented way the issue that might help them and you. Comms will otherwise often be very generic.

edited a typo

SillyCecilia · 10/12/2025 23:55

Ignore them. Not sure what they can really do. Ds had low attendance around 80% and it don’t affect his education at all.

SoldTheMovieRights · 10/12/2025 23:56

verycloakanddaggers · 10/12/2025 23:35

It would be helpful to do this when you can: drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

This. It doesn't sound like many of the absences actually are unavoidable, just that it's more convenient to keep them off. I'm not surprised the school don't think it's reasonable to have a whole day off too see an orthodontist!

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:57

That’s a good point. The emails are coming from an “admin” email address but are signed “Mrs. Jones” or “Miss Smith” but the teacher’s own email addresses are not in the distribution. (And Mrs. Jones would never just sign off as “Mrs Jones” because she’s not an ignoramus and has signed everything previously “Jane Jones, Head of Year”)

I think this might be an overzealous attendance clerk. But in any case, they can’t ask for a bloody GP letter for all future absences can they?

OP posts:
ReadingTeaLeaves · 10/12/2025 23:57

Totally sympathise with the situation here btw. I have had a child miss 1.5 days of school in past two weeks where literally all we have done during school time is travel by car and sit in waiting rooms. The medical stuff ended up happening out of school hours pretty much! Teachers/Heads do understand this but they need to report and record data that can be audited by a third party (and to be fair not all parents are as diligent as you and the process has to account for that).

ReadingTeaLeaves · 11/12/2025 00:00

I would also highly recommend being proactive in asking for materials to ensure your child isn’t at risk of falling behind (if this is regular). And ensuring that this work really is done.

Tiswa · 11/12/2025 00:01

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:57

That’s a good point. The emails are coming from an “admin” email address but are signed “Mrs. Jones” or “Miss Smith” but the teacher’s own email addresses are not in the distribution. (And Mrs. Jones would never just sign off as “Mrs Jones” because she’s not an ignoramus and has signed everything previously “Jane Jones, Head of Year”)

I think this might be an overzealous attendance clerk. But in any case, they can’t ask for a bloody GP letter for all future absences can they?

In theory no unless they believe you are lying.

in practice sadly yes and it could be marked as unauthorised and add up to the 10 sessions and a fine.

or more likely meet the attendance officer from school and potentially the inclusion team.

send evidence every time appointment cards etc but yes the expectation is at least one session marked in

Croakymccroakyvoice · 11/12/2025 00:02

Schools are judged on attendance and it is a huge issue since covid so they are under a lot of pressure to tackle poor attendance. 80% is extremely low attendance. It's equivalent to having aan extra day off every single week.

You have to play the game a bit. Get them into school to be marked in on the register even if you need to pick them up in the first hour. Get them back into school after their appointments too.

Also, make sure you have provided evidence of all medical appointments.

Hol9191 · 11/12/2025 00:05

I'm an attendance officer in a school and probably shouldn't be saying this but don't worry about it. It's all about figures and it's just dragging their overall percentages down which they won't like. Since the guidance changed last year, you honestly have to jump through a million hoops to actually fine a family for attendance. It used to be quite straight forward but not now, your local authority won't even consider fining you for a child with 80% attendance. I spent 6 months trying to get one over the line for a child with 16% and a parent that didn't care at all and even that was a battle for them to process. If you're engaging with the school and giving evidence of appointments, there's not much they can do, the snotty emails you're getting are because they have targets to hit percentage wise. Schools are businesses these days sadly

Interpink · 11/12/2025 00:58

I’ve gone back over emails and I think they have marked them absent when they may have missed registration etc but there’s no way they’ve missed that many days.

OP posts:
Philandbill · 11/12/2025 01:59

SillyCecilia · 10/12/2025 23:55

Ignore them. Not sure what they can really do. Ds had low attendance around 80% and it don’t affect his education at all.

@SillyCecilia they can follow the process set out by parliament and fine. And for many children an attendance of 80%, which averages out as missing a day a week, results in gaps in learning.

REDB99 · 11/12/2025 02:05

80% is very low attendance, I’d be mortified if my DD’s attendance was that low and I was getting letters. If they to school late after registration closes they’ll be marked as absent with the relevant code. I can’t believe you keep them off all day to go to the orthodontist!
Time to get them into school and accept that you’ve been far too lax in ensuring good attendance.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 11/12/2025 02:14

REDB99 · 11/12/2025 02:05

80% is very low attendance, I’d be mortified if my DD’s attendance was that low and I was getting letters. If they to school late after registration closes they’ll be marked as absent with the relevant code. I can’t believe you keep them off all day to go to the orthodontist!
Time to get them into school and accept that you’ve been far too lax in ensuring good attendance.

But if you have to work and the orthodontist is 30 miles away? I couldn't have managed to-ing and fro-ing just to be on a register with that sort of distance involved.

Crazybigtoe · 11/12/2025 02:15

Registration is twice a day. If you have appointments try to make sure they are at school for these times- or at least one of these times if need to have them during school day.

If your child is sick or need to attend appointments, it is what it is.

I wouldn't be 'mortified' over my child's attendance

REDB99 · 11/12/2025 02:21

DeftGoldHedgehog · 11/12/2025 02:14

But if you have to work and the orthodontist is 30 miles away? I couldn't have managed to-ing and fro-ing just to be on a register with that sort of distance involved.

When you get the appointment and it’s at a time that means you miss a whole day at school you call them and say it isn’t a convenient time, can you have one later in the afternoon (even if it is for a different day). Your child then goes to school for most if not all of the day and then goes to the appointment.
How long does it take to drive 30 miles? An hour at most, max an hour with the orthodontist, then an hour back. How does this warrant a whole day off school?
You need to stop maxing excuses for taking a child out of school for a whole day for one appointment. Look up what 80% attendance actually means, it’s classed as being persistently absent from school and has a significantly detrimental effect on a child’s education.

RedToothBrush · 11/12/2025 02:27

verycloakanddaggers · 10/12/2025 23:35

It would be helpful to do this when you can: drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

It's a massive pain in the arse but you have to do this. Otherwise you aren't demonstrating that you are trying to get them into school. If they are there for registration but leave five mins later, they get their attendance mark which is frankly ridiculous. (Same applies for morning and afternoon register) So you have to try and get at least one if the appointment is in the middle of the day even if it's disruptive to everyone concerned.

I'd supply evidence of appointment times and just ignore beyond that.

Zanatdy · 11/12/2025 06:07

I had one of them for DD when she was in year 9. She had a lot of health issues and most of the time I sent her to school and then they rang me to pick her up. She left year 11 with 12 x grade 9, so didn’t affect her results. It couldn’t be helped, she still isn’t that well and it’s gone on her whole secondary education. Hopefully seeing a cardiologist soon.

haveaword · 11/12/2025 06:11

Respond with a timeline of dates with an explanation, attached screenshots images of letters to email to evidence your children’s medical needs being met.

If there are days when they could get their mark it might help.

ShesTheAlbatross · 11/12/2025 06:16

They’ve had surgery and follow up appointments and that’s the main cause of low attendance?

I’d be quoting the statutory guidance on this that says that illness should be marked as authorised and medical evidence only requested in exceptional circumstances. Since I assume they had medical evidence of the surgeries, I certainly wouldn’t expect to be asked to go to the GP if they now had a standard viral illness - and the GP would probably say no to an appointment and a note anyway because they’re too busy to pander to the school’s nonsense here.

Hercisback1 · 11/12/2025 06:18

80% is a day off per week. 14 days off so far this year. You're counted as Persistently absent.

This isn't an over zealous clerk, it's normal school processes to deal with persistently absent children. Schools are judged on attendance and have to try and get attendance improved.

babyproblems · 11/12/2025 06:19

Sounds like they’re off for genuine reasons, why don’t you just give justifying paperwork from the hospital??

I agree that if there’s dentist etc they can go for an hour or two before you pick them up. I think that’s just lazy tbh!

Give the medical note each time. Problem solved!

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 11/12/2025 06:28

If they’re only in for one hour before they need to go to the orthodontist, surely there’s time to drop them back in afterwards?

metalbottle · 11/12/2025 06:30

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:57

That’s a good point. The emails are coming from an “admin” email address but are signed “Mrs. Jones” or “Miss Smith” but the teacher’s own email addresses are not in the distribution. (And Mrs. Jones would never just sign off as “Mrs Jones” because she’s not an ignoramus and has signed everything previously “Jane Jones, Head of Year”)

I think this might be an overzealous attendance clerk. But in any case, they can’t ask for a bloody GP letter for all future absences can they?

Remind them that GPs charge for such letters and it would be the requestor I.e. school who has to pay

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