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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

More about school absence - what is lawful?

108 replies

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:19

I’ve had my arse handed to me over the attendance of my children as according to school records it’s nearing 80%. They have said that without GP letters they won’t authorise any further absences. Both of my children have had minor surgery and then follow up appointments and as the hospital that they’re under are nowhere near school, if the appointment is in the middle of the day they’re missing a whole day, which whilst not ideal is unavoidable.

The tone of the emails has been awful, and I’ve replied saying I’m committed to their attendance and education. But frankly I’m losing patience - why does it even matter how they choose to record it? I’d much rather they were in school but I also won’t send them if they’re genuinely unwell, or drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Willyoujust · 11/12/2025 20:37

SillyCecilia · 10/12/2025 23:55

Ignore them. Not sure what they can really do. Ds had low attendance around 80% and it don’t affect his education at all.

You’re deluded if you think that your child missing 1/5 of their education hasn’t affected them.

Willyoujust · 11/12/2025 20:39

Interpink · 11/12/2025 11:20

You’ve hit the nail on the head - sending evidence to prove I’m not lying. 🙄

Why would I lie in the first bloody place? I have nothing to gain at all by them being absent and if I’ve emailed in saying “X won’t be in for 48 hours as he vomited twice in the night” I don’t think I should have to send a fecking letter from a GP.

Unfortunately many parents do lie. I had a boy off sick for a week with the flu and he came back with a tan 😂

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 11/12/2025 20:50

If they’ve been off for surgery, you’ll have a hospital letter. If they’ve had follow up appointments, you’ll have letters for those. If they’ve see the orthodontist, you’ll have a letter for that. So just provide copies of them all. 80% is low, the aim should be 95% or above.

Thistooshallpsss · 11/12/2025 21:01

Doctors are only required to provide fit notes to authorise the payment of statutory sick pay for employees. Anything else is at their discretion and chargeable. The school wants go letters they can pay for them.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 11/12/2025 21:06

My friend got a really shitty letter from her dc's school about attendance once. Her dc was actually ill in hospital when she received it.

4crackers · 12/12/2025 06:44

Interpink · 11/12/2025 15:12

Fact is though as a single parent, if their appointments come through together then they both go to each other’s slots because otherwise there’s no way of managing it. I begged the specialist to see both on the same day (not dental) and they were booked in for 11:30 and 1:30. They were the only slots so it meant that both came to each other’s appointments. It’s a pain in the hole but logistics are tricky.

These kids are 15 and 16.

Do you think maybe they have missed days that you weren’t aware of?

4crackers · 12/12/2025 06:45

Interpink · 11/12/2025 00:58

I’ve gone back over emails and I think they have marked them absent when they may have missed registration etc but there’s no way they’ve missed that many days.

These kids are 15 and 16.

Do you think maybe they have missed days that you weren’t aware of?

Hol9191 · 13/12/2025 00:12

Barrenfieldoffucks · 11/12/2025 08:27

As an attendance officer, surely you're aware of the impact of missing an average of a day a week?

Show quote history

OP didn't ask for MY opinion on HER child missing on average one day a week. She also didn't ask for the impact it has on them. I'm pretty sure she didn't come here to ask for parenting advice for her children either but some people feel that's their place to sit on their pedestal, without knowing anything about their situation and offer their unwanted opinions. All children should be in school 5 days a week obviously, but we could argue not attending medical appointments isn't a good idea either.

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