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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More about school absence - what is lawful?

108 replies

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:19

I’ve had my arse handed to me over the attendance of my children as according to school records it’s nearing 80%. They have said that without GP letters they won’t authorise any further absences. Both of my children have had minor surgery and then follow up appointments and as the hospital that they’re under are nowhere near school, if the appointment is in the middle of the day they’re missing a whole day, which whilst not ideal is unavoidable.

The tone of the emails has been awful, and I’ve replied saying I’m committed to their attendance and education. But frankly I’m losing patience - why does it even matter how they choose to record it? I’d much rather they were in school but I also won’t send them if they’re genuinely unwell, or drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MumChp · 11/12/2025 06:31

REDB99 · 11/12/2025 02:21

When you get the appointment and it’s at a time that means you miss a whole day at school you call them and say it isn’t a convenient time, can you have one later in the afternoon (even if it is for a different day). Your child then goes to school for most if not all of the day and then goes to the appointment.
How long does it take to drive 30 miles? An hour at most, max an hour with the orthodontist, then an hour back. How does this warrant a whole day off school?
You need to stop maxing excuses for taking a child out of school for a whole day for one appointment. Look up what 80% attendance actually means, it’s classed as being persistently absent from school and has a significantly detrimental effect on a child’s education.

We go by public transportation so 30 miles can be quite a while. Not every family has a car.

Guttyyyyyyyyy · 11/12/2025 06:39

I was a child in the 1980's and my parents received similar letters plus a court threat because of me having every friday off for 6 weeks. I was under the renal team at the nearest childrens hospital and the specialist who ( finally ) diagnosed me only came to that hospital on a Friday. The school were very aware , but a zealous attendence officer in the LEA srarted legal proceedings. The hospital stepped in. My mum still has her copy of the letter.
Its ridiculous for a school to harrass parents of ill children.

Lougle · 11/12/2025 06:43

It's best to take them in to register, even if they sit in class, register, then walk back out.

Laserwho · 11/12/2025 06:48

REDB99 · 11/12/2025 02:21

When you get the appointment and it’s at a time that means you miss a whole day at school you call them and say it isn’t a convenient time, can you have one later in the afternoon (even if it is for a different day). Your child then goes to school for most if not all of the day and then goes to the appointment.
How long does it take to drive 30 miles? An hour at most, max an hour with the orthodontist, then an hour back. How does this warrant a whole day off school?
You need to stop maxing excuses for taking a child out of school for a whole day for one appointment. Look up what 80% attendance actually means, it’s classed as being persistently absent from school and has a significantly detrimental effect on a child’s education.

You carnt always change appointments, with my son you took what you got or you would wait months for another. Also don't assume people can drive, I had to use public transport for all my son's appointments which adds time. Waiting for train/ bus to turn up, then not turning up, transport taking longer as you carnt take a direct route, needing to take more than one bus. Then needing to feed the child.yes appointments can take all day when we don't live in your perfect little world

Maray1967 · 11/12/2025 06:53

Try to get the orthodontist to give you early or late appointments. I’ve managed to get either 9 am or 4 pm ones for DS. Ours is a 40 minute drive each way from home or school, but I can get DS into school by 10.30 from a 9 am one.

RhaenysRocks · 11/12/2025 06:56

Crazybigtoe · 11/12/2025 02:15

Registration is twice a day. If you have appointments try to make sure they are at school for these times- or at least one of these times if need to have them during school day.

If your child is sick or need to attend appointments, it is what it is.

I wouldn't be 'mortified' over my child's attendance

Assuming this is secondary school they'll be registered in every lesson. Also, I teach secondary and have two teens who have both struggled with EBSA. what I know is that "gaps in learning" at this age , with attendance of 80% might end up equating to a few marks missed on one of two or three exams papers and if they are reasonably diligent with their out of school revision, they'll be fine. They may not get the grades they're technically capable of but enough to move on to next steps. I'm increasingly disillusioned with the system I am part of and it's straitjacket approach to complex issues.

Sidebend · 11/12/2025 07:04

They'll be standard letters that get automatically triggered at a certain point of absence. But I'm curious to know over what period of time your kids have missed one day in every five - as that is quite a lot.

If it's just over the last half term and relates to a few days missed for the surgery and follow-ups then that's fine - but over a longer period, then a day out of class every single week is a lot of missed learning.

Spiltcof · 11/12/2025 07:04

These are 3 teen boys? 15 and 16?

And they’re missing all this school because of appointments?

ScaryM0nster · 11/12/2025 07:06

It sounds like there might be a mix of a few different kind of abscences here.

Some
unavoidable medical ones, for illness or necessary health appointments. Some for convenience, where some school would have been possible around an appointment but you / your child decided it wasn’t worth the effort, and some that are potentially for cosmetic appointments (which is what most orthodontic appointments are - not all, but most), and some from being late.

Some of those are unavoidable, some are choices being made in your household. It may be worthwhile revisiting the household view of school attendance. Is it a priority, or secondary to everything else. It might have drifted slightly further down the list because there’s been a lot happening and an adjustment might be appropriate

StarsTwinklingPomanders · 11/12/2025 07:10

Iant it awful that parents with sick children have this pressure on them ! Absolutely ridiculous

Nincompoo · 11/12/2025 07:13

verycloakanddaggers · 10/12/2025 23:35

It would be helpful to do this when you can: drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

Helpful to who?!

Crazybigtoe · 11/12/2025 07:15

RhaenysRocks · 11/12/2025 06:56

Assuming this is secondary school they'll be registered in every lesson. Also, I teach secondary and have two teens who have both struggled with EBSA. what I know is that "gaps in learning" at this age , with attendance of 80% might end up equating to a few marks missed on one of two or three exams papers and if they are reasonably diligent with their out of school revision, they'll be fine. They may not get the grades they're technically capable of but enough to move on to next steps. I'm increasingly disillusioned with the system I am part of and it's straitjacket approach to complex issues.

Yes. But for absence calculation purposes, there are 2 key points in the day. So if kids are late, and miss that first registration, then it's calculated they have missed half a day- even though they may have attended all bar 20 mins of that morning.

It's this way at the 4 secondary schools my children have attended and the 3 primary schools. Yours may be different.

adaywithy · 11/12/2025 07:20

Nincompoo · 11/12/2025 07:13

Helpful to who?!

it would be helpful to the kids’ education

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/12/2025 07:22

An 'over zealous clerk'? Really?

Seeing as that person will be completing the forms for the head to sign for referral to the local authority for penalty notices, a better attitude towards the person who is doing their job would be more productive.

80% in the first week of term isn't so bad, but by now, it should have vastly improved bar actual illness, disability or a bereavement.

FrenchBunionSoup · 11/12/2025 07:28

Both of my children have had minor surgery and then follow up appointments and as the hospital that they’re under are nowhere near school

I'd much rather they were in school but I also won’t or drop them in for one hour and then have to go back and pick up again to get to an orthodontist appointment 30 miles away etc.

I'm a bit confused, is this an orthodontist based at a hospital or are there two separate issues (i.e. the hospital is far away and the orthodontist is far away).

If it's the latter, is there not a closer orthodontist?

darkestdecember · 11/12/2025 07:28

Crazybigtoe · 11/12/2025 07:15

Yes. But for absence calculation purposes, there are 2 key points in the day. So if kids are late, and miss that first registration, then it's calculated they have missed half a day- even though they may have attended all bar 20 mins of that morning.

It's this way at the 4 secondary schools my children have attended and the 3 primary schools. Yours may be different.

It is, yes. It’s annoying because my son is down as having missed half a day and he didn’t, he was late in because our car broke down en route. Has 100% attendance apart from that. Sigh.

Meceme · 11/12/2025 07:38

Interpink · 11/12/2025 00:58

I’ve gone back over emails and I think they have marked them absent when they may have missed registration etc but there’s no way they’ve missed that many days.

If they've missed registration or arrived after registers have closed (usually 20-30 minutes after registers open depending on LEA/trust policy) they are automatically marked as absent for that session and this WILL count towards total absences. The school has no leeway in deciding that.
If they arrive late but registers are open they would get a late mark rather than absent.

gogomomo2 · 11/12/2025 07:42

Surgery is unavoidable but orthodontist appointments are not acute treatment so should be made at times where school time missed is minimal if at all, my dc saw theirs at 5pm. If they need to be seen in hospital and the clinic was in the morning, I always requested 9am so I could get them back to school in a timely manner.

winterbluess · 11/12/2025 07:44

Interpink · 11/12/2025 00:58

I’ve gone back over emails and I think they have marked them absent when they may have missed registration etc but there’s no way they’ve missed that many days.

I collected DS for a dentist appointment and took him back half an hour later and it still came up as a missed session.

Lookingforthejoy · 11/12/2025 07:48

You need to take them in if they can be there for an hour.

Yea, it matters how things are recorded in case they decide to prosecute you. They can’t ask for GP letters for illness unless they believe you’re faking it - look up the DoE guidelines. They can ask for copies of appointment letters and they won’t authorise a full day off if they child could attend for part of the day

gogomomo2 · 11/12/2025 07:51

And as far as gp letters etc, if they have a medical condition that is necessitating frequent absence then the school needs to be aware of this, if the 80% attendance (which is the equivalent of missing one day per week) is for a variety of reasons you need to be considering whether it’s a genuine blip and not going to be repeated or whether you are prioritising convenience over education. Yes I did take my dd in for one hour before picking her up to go to appointments, and yes even if there was only 60 minutes left I would drop her back, she missed a lot of school for a couple of reasons but she only missed what she had to

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 07:54

SillyCecilia · 10/12/2025 23:55

Ignore them. Not sure what they can really do. Ds had low attendance around 80% and it don’t affect his education at all.

Did they get straight 9’s? It absolutely will have affected them.

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2025 07:57

Interpink · 10/12/2025 23:57

That’s a good point. The emails are coming from an “admin” email address but are signed “Mrs. Jones” or “Miss Smith” but the teacher’s own email addresses are not in the distribution. (And Mrs. Jones would never just sign off as “Mrs Jones” because she’s not an ignoramus and has signed everything previously “Jane Jones, Head of Year”)

I think this might be an overzealous attendance clerk. But in any case, they can’t ask for a bloody GP letter for all future absences can they?

Surely if they have medical appointments you’d have appointment letters / emails / cards?
When I book a dentist appointment I get a text message and slip of paper with the appointment on. For hospital appointments I’ve always had proof. It sounds like you’re keeping both DC off school when one has an appointment. If so, one of them will definitely get unauthorised. I’d be booking ortho appointments either at the start or end of the school day so at least they do most of the day in school. 80% attendance over a year equates to 76 half days over a school year, which is over half a term off school. Over 5 years in secondary school that means they’re missing a full year of education.

Soontobe60 · 11/12/2025 07:59

darkestdecember · 11/12/2025 07:28

It is, yes. It’s annoying because my son is down as having missed half a day and he didn’t, he was late in because our car broke down en route. Has 100% attendance apart from that. Sigh.

Schools have a cut off time for attendance when the registers close. In my school a child who arrives after 9am is marked as late that morning. Unless there’s an accepted reason, it will be marked as U.

ACynicalDad · 11/12/2025 07:59

Local authorities can access attendance data in real time and will call the school out, it is vital they are in this. Medical providers are used to being asked for letters for school age children, you can even screenshot the spinning texts. If you do that and get them in on time on other days their attendance will be 100%.

But now I’d ask the providers for duplicate letters, (if you don’t have a portal you can download from) it won’t take long…