To not apologise to sibling

[Bearingsbear20]

It's another inheritance one!

My sibling and I had a verbal agreement that I would take DF's whole estate when he died (as I'm the only one named in his will, sibling isn't as they don't get on, they keep saying he was abusive when they were a child etc. which is stupid as he's pleasant now) and my sibling would take DM's.

DM died earlier this year somewhat unexpectedly and didn't leave any legal will. We then found a draft will naming sibling as taking the bulk of the estate and leaving me a small remainder. This tallies with what DM told me i would be left, as she phoned me up before she died and told me she was trying to 'make it fair' between us.

Initially I told sibling to sort out all the administrative stuff for DM's estate as I was about to have my first DC and was too busy to take it on. Sibling initially was communicative, let me know what was happening. Involved me in the funeral etc.

After a few weeks I told sibling I wanted 50% of mum's estate as per the law since there was no valid will and that i would buy sibling out of their share of the house. Sibling then mostly stopped talking to me, I couldn't find out what was happening with the estate etc. and we argued several times. Sibling was insisting I was doing the wrong thing for pushing for my 50% and they kept mentioning DF's will, which is unreasonable IMO and I find it sad they are talking about this before he's even passed. Sibling wanted to put DM's house up for auction and said they'd be in touch when the estate admin was sorted and would follow the intestacy rules. Then they started selling off assets e.g. the car without consulting me.

I went and got a solicitor to send a letter to my sibling as I wasn't getting any detail about the estate and they were refusing to have me buy out 50% of their share of the house. The solicitor sent a few letters and eventually now sibling has agreed I can buy out their share.

They're now not talking to me though and have refused to see me over Christmas etc. until I 'acknowledge what I've done'. I don't see that I've done anything wrong, I've just pushed for my legal inheritance, and sibling cut contact first. So AIBU?

and now noone wants to talk to you and you're the victim?

No, @ChristmasIsAMindset , literally everyone else is cheering and clapping OP for her bravery!

@monty34 sibling applied to be administrator and once i told them i wanted my 50% they started selling off assets, paying off debts etc. without consulting me. So hardly clear and open communication.

I was in a position of legally being left a house, part of another property and money (legal will). However they told me they wanted to change this shortly before their death, so I'd get about 50%. I honoured their wishes.

I have never been so glad to just have one child.

So you saw an opportunity to grab more money for yourself, even though it meant your sibling losing out, and went for it? Urgh. Horrible. Take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror.

There is nothing I can do about that.
If you feel an executor is not behaving appropriately you can seek advice from a Solicitor. And ultimately a Court who would decide what is to happen.

Exactly. Me too. My sibling was a pain the arse over wills and money.

You’re a shitty daughter, a shitty sister and an absolute shitbag of a human.

This....what a nasty piece of work. .

What sort of money is involved with both parents assets?

You don’t HAVE to do this though - you knew your DM’s wishes, YABVU and greedy

Seems you’re a chip off the old block!

You claim you're only going with the law here but you've been stringing your sibling along and NOW you want to do the legal thing? You're disgusting.

dog eat dog

@Bamfram not loads. Under £100k.

Are you fucking serious? Your sibling is your family too, yet you want to renege on an agreement you had with them, try and prevent them getting anything from either parent, while dismissing their childhood experiences and painting them as the villain. If the rest of the family are like this it’s no wonder your sibling doesn’t want anything to do with your nasty selves.

Then why were you making any verbal agreements with them? Either there was going to be a will which you would follow or there would be no will in which case you intended to follow intestacy laws, so why did you pretend there was a verbal agreement? You should have been honest at that stage and said you d have all of your dad's as per his will and half of your mums unless she made a will stating otherwise......but then your sibling would have been prepared and spoken to mum so I guess you didn't want that.
If I were them I'd have insisted the house be sold on open market
And in what world are we stupid to not forgive and forget abusers because they 'are pleasant now'?!

Maybe people aren’t ignoring the law, @Bearingsbear20 - they are simply focusing on the fact that you have chosen to go back on your agreement with your sibling, going against your mum’s wishes, which were clearly, if not legally, stated - frankly this is unethical and immoral of you.

Unless, of course, you are planning to split your father’s estate 50:50 with your sibling - which you could do, via a Deed of Variation, at the point where you inherit. But I don’t think you are going to do that, which means you will get 75% of your parents’ estates, and your sibling will only get 25% - can you honestly not understand why your sibling is cross about this??

Another obvious reverse

Can you really not see her side OP? You had a verbal agreement that you've gone back on. You even ha e a draft will so you know this was your mum's wishes that she get the majority of her estate. The law doesn't prevent you ensuring your mum's wishes are carried out and sticking to the verbal agreement by signing over your share to your sister. You're also being pretty dismissive of abuse, just because you feel like you survived it unscathed doesn't mean she did. The right thing to do here would be to give her most of your share in line with your mum's wishes, and ensure your dad's will leaves everything to you, OR agree with your dad that he will write a will to split equally between you so you both get 50 50

Can you really not see that from her point of view it's not fair that she gets half your mum's share and you get half of your mum's and all of your dad's? I think most people would stop talking to a sibling who was happy taking 75pc of their parents inheritance because your mum made an administrative error in not signing and logging the will. It also sounds like you're trying to turn wider family against her as all the responses on here are saying its unfair, which suggests you're mis representing something to them

I sought legal advice and they confirmed I should follow the legal process i.e. claim um rightful 50%.

While legally, you are entitled to claim your share of the estate you can also reject your share of DM's estate and so keep to your verbal agreement with your sibling.
Any solicitor would have given you this information if you had told them you wanted your sibling to inherit all of DM's estate.

@Bearingsbear20 You have gone back on your word, you knew exactly what your mum wanted and yet here you are demanding 50% when you will eventually receive your dad’s estate! talk about greedy!

Are you going to give her 50% of your dads estate?

I think there is a difference between what is legally right and what is morally right here. Legally, if the will isn't valid you can take the 50%. Morally, you are getting more than your sibiling from your DF's inheritance when he passes, and there was a family agreement that your DM wanted her money to go to your sibling. Respecting your DM would be following that agreement, and it would be fairer to your sibling. If it was me, I would follow my DM's wishes after her death.

What is a reverse?